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poetic_justice
02-14-2007, 05:55 AM
Slave's heart soared with lovers breath
At the site of a thousand tiny stars
Dotting the face of heaven -
Of brilliance personified.

Warm in the arms of her Master
On the cool grass of tree hidden grove
Both watching the scattered face of night
While their bodies clung to their passions, combined.

Those brutal fingers, tender and kind
As He stroked her silver strands of hair
And whispered words of love and honour to her ears
Swollen passions buried deep within dove's embrace.

Slowly she rose, her back arching while
The cosmic lunar rays caressed swollen heaving breasts
Broad muscled hands holding soft hips
While they ground against each other, searching.

Gutteral primal cries of ancient pleasures felt
Filled the air and them;
As spirits soared and hearts rose with higher pleasures felt
Pushing to the limits of their endurance.

While bodies strived, forcing deeper, harder
Tearing at each other for the ultimate release
Of Goddess and God embraced amongst the two
And the cry of wild dogs fuelled primal needs.

In those moments of frenzied emotion,
His fingers gripped the dagger tight
And drew the shining tip against her pale throat
His lips, taking into himself, the essence of their being.

copyright © Tracey Cobb

poetic_justice
02-14-2007, 05:56 AM
This is somewhat different to what I usually write... more focus on feeling and spirituality between the pair that the intricate details of their fucking. Any feedback would be most welcome.

Timberwolf
02-14-2007, 09:42 PM
I found it to be quite an intimate piece, and as far as I'm concerned it was just as "hot" as many of the other things I've read from you.

I enjoyed it quite a bit. Sorry I can't be more helpful critique-wise, but I'm notorious for coming from the "yeah, I think it's good" school of reviews if I think something is good. :)

Sir_G
02-14-2007, 10:46 PM
It Rocks!

poetic_justice
02-16-2007, 03:14 AM
Thankyou TW, your opinions and feedback always mean so much to me.

Thankyou also, Sir_G. I appreciate the comment :)

elyse
02-16-2007, 06:29 AM
I love your combination of the visceral and spiritual here. You were able to explore the divinity of the act while still keeping the poem grounded, maintaining a strong connection to the physicality of the moment. Brava!

_ID_
02-16-2007, 09:31 AM
your talent is obvious. The poem is beautiful. Enjoyable read.

poetic_justice
02-18-2007, 12:29 AM
elyse - Thankyou gorgeous! such things mean the world coming from a fellow poet :D

ID - Wish we could discuss it more often. But thankyou none the less. X

frankee
03-05-2007, 05:08 PM
i don't know what to say...except your words always touch me deeply.

poetic_justice
03-06-2007, 04:09 AM
I'm glad you enjoy it Frankee. Hope to talk soon. XX