Pointers required

[how2act]

I'm sort of new to this, but have tried things before and punished my slave. Just wanted some tips and such on how to go about things. Things like: How to control my slave to get to do as I want, Make her listen to me and not answer back. etc.

I discussed some things with my slave (who is also my girlfriend) and we have a strong base built on previous punishments and spankings. But it's how to go about doing things.

Any tips would be appreciated or even a chat on msn or yahoo, just message me for my addresses.

[Masterdarkone2000]

A suggestion would be to make her stand in the cornor or stand up against the wall with her nose pressed against it for each time that she disobeys you. I have also found that a good spanking or whipping using a leather belt that leaves her red for a few days helps get the point across and will help prevent her from questioning you or talking back to you.

If you ever want a few other pointers or would care to chat you can find me on txwolf533@yahoo.com

[Guest 91108]

If she consistently talks back and disobeys perhaps the submissiveness level you desire is not within her. I would question why i had problems with her level...
Was it my own desire of control ?
Why did she feel uncomfortable in giving you that control ?
If the submissive one isn't willing to give it then all the punishment in the world will only end up creating a wedge in the relationship.
Find out more definitively where her boundaries are and if they are within your parameters.
Then you would have to learn to work within the boundaries of that relationship.
That is how reality works regardless of what one may wish it to be like.
Just my opinion.

[gloombunny]

I'm with Wolfscout. Any discussion you have about this that doesn't include her in it won't help much.

That's not to say that advice from outside is no good, but ideally both of you would be part of the talk as well as whoever you're asking. Perhaps you could ask her to share her thoughts here?

[how2act]

Thanks for the replies, me and my sub have spoken about things. We've sorted a lot out, but she does answer back and disobeys a lot. I think she does it to make me more mad.

[ElectricBadger]

Glad to hear you've talked some, I advise you to continue. You may want to seriously explore what each of you want out of play, and what it means to you; it may be that being obedient is not her goal or desire at all.

[cariad]

Dressing up as a Domme for a moment and sneaking in...

Most subs/slaves crave their Dom's attention, is she perhaps doing this because when you are mad you give her that attention, and ignore her at other times? Think about positive and negative re-enforcement.

Oh and everything which Wolfscout has said...

cariad

(MasterDarkOne - a spanking such as you describe sounds to me like the perfect reward...)

[Guest 91108]

I agree with cariad's reason as to why she continues.

[how2act]

I give her a lot of attention otherwise. She's stubborn, but wants to listen, but doesn't... We don't have a limit, as we trust eachother in what we do. But she has this habit of saying things to really wind me up in public, so as being in public, I give her a glare and tell her to behave, then have words with her out of public view. I want to control her to get her to listen to me and do as I say and she wants the same.

[Guest 91108]

Then give her less "rein" to do as she pleases and tuff'n up the punishment accordingly. <weg>

[Flaming_Redhead]

Since she is misbehaving in public, it makes me think of a willful child who is quite sure you won't do anything while people are watching. You know the kind of child I'm talking about. The one throwing a temper tantrum to get a toy or candy while the embarressed parent begs him to stop. My advice is to disavow the notion that you won't do anything in public. Maybe you could toss her over your shoulder and give her a couple of swats as you walk across the parking lot. *smirks*

[pixie_dust]

*sneeks in for a brief moment* Humbly offering a suggestion...

The worst punishment that Sir gives me when I am deserving is when he gives the "cold shoulder" and ignores me for a certain amount of time. This, to me, is the absolute WORST punishment and I have never made the same mistake when receiving it.

When in public, may I suggest, sending her to the vehicle to wait for you. When you get there, tell her why you are disappointed with her, and then letting her know what her punishment will be and for how long. i.e. "You will not be seen or acknowledged by me for 45 minutes because of your conduct." I can't imagine this not working with anyone.

[moptop]

Would love to know how this is working out? if, to put on a more traditional subby hat than I am wont to wear, I may be so bold as to ask...

[Masterdarkone2000]

Please let us know what has happened with your girlfriend and you since this was posted.. I know you had many pointers and would love to see what happened or hasn't happened.

[Eponine]

I, too, am curious, as to how things are going.

I had some other thoughts as well on this misbehavior/ punishment topic, coming from recent firsthand experience-

I can be a real smart-ass... though generally I do refrain from it appropriately...
though there have been a few times when I didn't hold my tongue and I should have...

I think the times I misbehaved it was because... to me, Master's punishment/ lesson/ correction makes me feel very safe, secure, loved... makes me feel like a warm, little girl... makes me know He cares, that this Master/ slave thing is completely real and serious.. and is Our life...

so maybe that's something she needs to know and doesn't? is unsure of where you really stand, as her Dom/ Master?

...in time, I think the undesired behavior(s) will diminish... once she realizes that they seriously displease you and are not taken lightly by you.

...just some thoughts...