The addictive nature of BDSM

[caroline]

I have just finished reading A Colorado Country Girl\'s Self Bondage by Shackleford Bond. It is the true memoirs of a Mary Elizabeth Moore life of bondage. To say it was erotic is an understatement. It was very well written and I could not stop reading it until I was finished. I found I was away looking for what did she do next. WOW, very powerful. There are parts that I find hard to believe but that maybe because of my sheltered life. I sometimes find truth stranger than fiction. But these are my own feelings and I do not wish to take anything away from the author. Anyway the reason I am writing this is that she found bondage and torture to be very addictive. She starts off with light bondage and gets into heavy torture by the end of the story. It seems, and she admits, that that she always finds she wants more and the more she want the more extreme she wants it. I was wondering if any real slaves or what ever found this happening to them?:am:

[Stone]

I as a master have seen it on both sides.I want to do more and my little slut wants more done. I can not explain why this is other than pushing limits and exploring.

[gagged_Louise]

As a sub in some sense since my teens I totally agree, you want to try more, learn more, get to know more people within this rich vein of eroticism and life. I sometimes try several times to achieve something - a new twist to my fantasies, a new kind of bondage, enduring things harder and longer, kneeling to my Domme - and whether doing it on my own or with someone I'm spurred on to try again, while the turn-on of less "advanced" things is still around and not depleted at all. It's sometimes like diving into an underground lake.

[caroline]

Thanks so much for the response. Both of you have put my mind at ease. I guess the story scared me. The store made it sound like death was the ultimate satisfaction for the sub. Thanks again.:)

[TomOfSweden]

If you have an adictive personality it's quite possible to get addicted to endorphines in a bad way which is what that gets released when we experience pain. But since we're all "addicted" to endorphines naturally, it's probably a bit too harsh talking about addiction here. "Liking it very much" I'd say is probably a better term.

Our brains are a veritable drug factory quite naturally and I can imagine it being easy to over-do it if we find a handy way to release a lot at once ;)

edit: My point is that the state of happiness is having these chemicals released, and if we use the term addiction, which is asociated with something negative then I think we've lost track of what it all is about. I'm not going to make any claims as to what the purpose/meaning of life is, but while I'm figuring it out, having fun, enjoying life and aiming for happiness I think is the best goal I can come up with.

[Hime]

I think it's a bad addiction if the person thinks of it as a way to avoid dealing with real problems.

If I have trouble at work, argue with my mom on the phone, and slip on ice on the way back from the train, then go home, curl up with a good book and have a glass of red wine before thinking about what I can do to solve my problems, and wake up the next day resolved to get help with my work problems, apologize to my mom and wear more sensible shoes, does that make me an alcoholic? Of course not!

But what if I go home, drink the whole bottle of wine and come in to work the next day hung over and even less capable of doing my work, and then feel so miserable when I get home that I figure I need to drink more to make myself feel better? Yeah, that's a problem. (unfortunately someone in my immediate family has that problem. :()

If you enjoy being submissive, and it helps you feel better about yourself and gives you the strength you need to solve other problems, that's awesome. If you feel like you need to escape into subspace when anything goes wrong and use the endorphin rush to convince yourself that everything's ok, I think that is a kind of an addiction.

[carinas]

TomofSweden got it right...endorphines and adrenalin curse through the body when it is experiencing pain, its a natural high and when experienced its "the more you get, the more you want" syndrome.

it is an addiction, one at times that really needs curbing, the key is to control it before it controls you.