ashsoul
04-23-2007, 02:48 PM
So here to "delurk" myself a bit.
Though I don`t really know how to best characterize myself. Let`s try it!
I am very a sophisticated, abstract but assertive soul. I keep learning myself and others since my consciousness informed me that I exist. Understanding the nature of things: people, society, being in general is very important to me.
One day I came to understand that I am submissive towards women. I tried to understand why these feelings, arousals, longings, fantasies are all about, for I sensed that they are far from being universal to all males. I begun to introspectively grasp these "feeling`s" essence, nature and causes. Then I came to feel ashamed because of them for even as a teenager I saw that generalities makes rules and rules tend to ridiculize and erase things that differs. So I kept my silence and my sense of privacy grew. I slowly got to a point to believe that I am the only one on earth who is like me. I had several vanilla relations until now, each ended in turn because of "unknown causes".
Finally I decided to break the total silence and search for my counterpart, if there is a chance for that. I hope that here amongst people who seem to share in a way with my passions, I do not have to feel ashamed of what I am.
Of course I do not associate "myself" as a whole with my "submissiveness" like nobody else does, I think. I believe in that phrase which goes like: every person is a whole world that is always more than it seems to be when you think you have finally grasped it. And the best way to know yourself is through others, through other worlds and if two compatible worlds collide, well...thats almost a whole universe!
I wish I could participate in a universe like that. Until then, hope keeps me alive.
With respect,
ashsoul
Though I don`t really know how to best characterize myself. Let`s try it!
I am very a sophisticated, abstract but assertive soul. I keep learning myself and others since my consciousness informed me that I exist. Understanding the nature of things: people, society, being in general is very important to me.
One day I came to understand that I am submissive towards women. I tried to understand why these feelings, arousals, longings, fantasies are all about, for I sensed that they are far from being universal to all males. I begun to introspectively grasp these "feeling`s" essence, nature and causes. Then I came to feel ashamed because of them for even as a teenager I saw that generalities makes rules and rules tend to ridiculize and erase things that differs. So I kept my silence and my sense of privacy grew. I slowly got to a point to believe that I am the only one on earth who is like me. I had several vanilla relations until now, each ended in turn because of "unknown causes".
Finally I decided to break the total silence and search for my counterpart, if there is a chance for that. I hope that here amongst people who seem to share in a way with my passions, I do not have to feel ashamed of what I am.
Of course I do not associate "myself" as a whole with my "submissiveness" like nobody else does, I think. I believe in that phrase which goes like: every person is a whole world that is always more than it seems to be when you think you have finally grasped it. And the best way to know yourself is through others, through other worlds and if two compatible worlds collide, well...thats almost a whole universe!
I wish I could participate in a universe like that. Until then, hope keeps me alive.
With respect,
ashsoul