Devotion through pain.

[ACommittedSadist]

So here is a topic I have been giving a fair deal of thought to recently. I am a sadist, I genuinely enjoy seeing a consenting woman enduring real pain for me. In fact I enjoy it much more knowing that she *does not* like the pain, yet non-consensual acts, even as a fantasy, do nothing for me so it is not pain for pains sake that I need.

What I have realized over the last couple of years is that, to me, a slave *enduring* pain is an act of devotion on her part. The pain makes the surrender real, and the surrender gives the pain meaning. Neither is whole without the other.

Of course this is not the only way to make surrender real but it is for me one of the most powerful.

[MajesticFae]

/ponders

Interesting. I see what you're saying and I agree.

If a slave endures pain for her Master it is a type of devotion to him. As long as it's SSC, I can see how this could be very erotic for the right two people.

For me, it probably wouldn't work. I don't believe I'd want to endure pain for my Master's pleasure. I'd rather try to find some other way to give him pleasure. I like some kinds of pain, but I think there would have to be a mututal agreement in place for this to work. Dependent upon the bond between a Master and slave this arrangement is entirely possible. I think for me it would be a limit though, but one I would allow to be pushed gradually.

[ACommittedSadist]

Of course,

Finding the right person is always essential. D/s and BDSM covers a huge variety of topics, likes, and fetishes and I long ago accepted that what is right for me is not right for everyone, even other people in the lifestyle.

[gloombunny]

Oh heck yes. I'm not into pain very much, but much of what I do get out of it comes from that. Pushing myself, doing something difficult, to please my dom... that is definitely the attraction for me.

[gagged_Louise]

Yes, I agree. This is a vital aspect of masochist pain for me too, and it's at the heart of what can happen between Dominant and sub/slave (though it's not the only thing that happens: arousal through the pain in the submissive, for instance). I'd add that the way the slave agrees to surrender control, knowing this will at some point lead to hard pain or even degradation, is also an act of love and trust.

[^firefly^]

I'll throw in my 2 cents on this. To me there is pain that I enjoy and pain that I endure, just because it pleases him. Sometimes pain just feels good, or it turns me on...and sometimes it just hurts like hell and I take it because he wants me to. And knowing that he enjoys inflicting it, or seeing the marks it leaves on my body, or even just that he knows I am willing to do this for him--that makes it all worth it. I don't mean that I'm willing to endure anything, but outside of a very few absolute "no-no's", there's nothing he could ask of me that I wouldn't at least *try* to endure, just to please him.
On a slightly different note, though...the things I find myself "enduring" rather than "enjoying" are not usually extremly painful. Sometimes tiresome, or repetitive, or things I merely dislike. Does anyone else find this to be the case with them? Just curious.

[ACommittedSadist]

I'd add that the way the slave agrees to surrender control, knowing this will at some point lead to hard pain or even degradation, is also an act of love and trust.

Yes it is a huge act of love and trust. And that is what makes it so meaningful.

[~hellish one~]

I'll throw in my 2 cents on this. To me there is pain that I enjoy and pain that I endure, just because it pleases him. Sometimes pain just feels good, or it turns me on...and sometimes it just hurts like hell and I take it because he wants me to. And knowing that he enjoys inflicting it, or seeing the marks it leaves on my body, or even just that he knows I am willing to do this for him--that makes it all worth it. I don't mean that I'm willing to endure anything, but outside of a very few absolute "no-no's", there's nothing he could ask of me that I wouldn't at least *try* to endure, just to please him.
On a slightly different note, though...the things I find myself "enduring" rather than "enjoying" are not usually extremly painful. Sometimes tiresome, or repetitive, or things I merely dislike. Does anyone else find this to be the case with them? Just curious.

i agree wholeheartedly! very well put, firefly! :)

[moptop]

Firefly hit the nail on the head for me, too; there are many things not to do with pain that I will endure for his pleasure.

I enjoy pain (of course, I have my limits and preferences). I will endure pain that I don't enjoy for his pleasure - it is a way of giving myself to him, and despite not enjoying the pain, I enjoy the act of giving very much. However, if it is a pain I don't enjoy then I certainly can't take as much of it.

[ceegee{Benz}]

I have a saying, and on some sites it is part of my favourite quote, pain is only the evil leaving the body. (words spoken by a true masochist)
I love to recieve forms of pain from my Master....and my Pain threshold is very very high. My Master loves to give pain as well. It shows total trust in each other...total respect for one another and if the pain is issued properly..one does not feel the sting or the pain anyway.....just the love of each whelt as it is given.
I love to recieve pain 100% and I never "endure" pain just because it pleases my Master. He knows every single sign...movement I make if I am not happy or enjoying what is being given to me. One slightest sign and the Play stops. His pleasure is seeing me enjoying myself....and pleasing him.
If something doesnt feel right then we talk about it. Most people tend to forget that S&m is not just about pain or trust...it is about commitment AND communication.

There are many ways to over come pain and to master that pain as well. And once you have over come that..then all forms of pain are pleasureable for all parties involved.
hmm that could be another whats for a new topic..mindset

[ACommittedSadist]

He knows every single sign...movement I make if I am not happy or enjoying what is being given to me. One slightest sign and the Play stops. His pleasure is seeing me enjoying myself....and pleasing him.


This would be the antithesis of what my OP was about, but also I imagine much more common. I there is something counter intuitive in what I am talking about because it requires a head space where she can hate the act but love the situation.



If something doesnt feel right then we talk about it. Most people tend to forget that S&m is not just about pain or trust...it is about commitment AND communication.


This is something I agree with 100%.

[tessa]

The pain makes the surrender real, and the surrender gives the pain meaning. Neither is whole without the other.
That pretty much sums it up for me.

I think it has all been opined quite wonderfully so far, so I don't have anything else to add. I just really wanted to post in the "Devotion through pain" thread.

:)

[caligirl{Rob}]

*smiles* as i think that yes i do enjoy making Sir proud by "enduring" some pain, smiles though we are always talking and He would not want me to be severly hurt, i thrive off of His pride in me. Knowing our safe words are respected completely i know i can push myself to absolute limits

cali

[His_blizzard]

*smiles* as i think that yes i do enjoy making Sir proud by "enduring" some pain, smiles though we are always talking and He would not want me to be severly hurt, i thrive off of His pride in me. Knowing our safe words are respected completely i know i can push myself to absolute limits

cali

He is pretty cool, isn't he? I am so glad that you have each other. ***HUGS*** ~blizz~

[caligirl{Rob}]

*smiles* blushes, yepper He is the coolest and hottest too! smiles hugs ya tight!
hugs!
cali

[orchid]

sometimes it just hurts like hell and I take it because he wants me to. And knowing that he enjoys inflicting it, or seeing the marks it leaves on my body, or even just that he knows I am willing to do this for him--that makes it all worth it.

exactly!

[carinas]

i may endure pain for the sadist, though in the end its what i get out of it that counts. being the masochist that i am and not liking everything that is done to me but gaining the release my body craves makes it even more intense...for me, but im talking sadist/masochist and not Dominant/submissive, that would then allow me to surrender through what it is i give to Him.
i get off on the fire in a sadists eyes but again its all for me, i have given the sadist what he desires and i have gained whollistically myself.

[vistana]

...head space where she can hate the act but love the situation.



oh, that applies to a few things I can think of... i love being made to do things I don't like.
Mostly it's humiliation-related acts that get that reaction, but occasionally pain works it's way in. I'm a pretty heavy masochist, but I don't always enjoy the pain as it's being inflicted. I do enjoy that I'm not enjoying it however, which I think is what the OP was saying.

[DarkSister]

Pain as an act of devotion is something that I myself have given a lot of thought to recently… well certainly the past few months anyway… without going into any particular detail, pain is something that I had come to expect and fear… to me pain became very much a part of my life, though I must point out that none of this was linked to pleasure… maybe through this, the ‘need’ for pain has been engraved into me. I could ask myself the question whether I would be like this were it not for my past history, but there is little gained for me in trying to second guess this kind of stuff…
…
I guess, as a result of this, my pain threshold is quite high and I do enjoy receiving pain…the very act of willingly submitting myself to that single special person that is so central to my life creates such a high within me that it can leave me buzzing for hours, as likewise the feelings I get as she stands over me, the architect of this intense rush of sensation that floods through me seems only to heighten my pleasure… but I don’t ‘endure’ pain.. because that denotes perhaps that is received unwillingly or because it is expected… rather for me, it is very much a case that I embrace it. there is nothing for me that can beat the pain i get from Pain xx

Physiologically it has been pointed out that that pain is effective in producing natural endorphins that can bring with it a ‘high’, as im sure most people here would have noticed that during times of sexual arousal… sensations that might ordinarily seem painful in the absence of arousal take on a whole new dimension when aroused and will be experienced as intense and pleasurable… and its true that certain kinds of pain can become psychologically linked with pleasure (sexual or otherwise) and as such becomes eroticised through the anticipation of it


Dark xXx

[Flaming_Redhead]

To me there is pain that I enjoy and pain that I endure, just because it pleases him. Sometimes pain just feels good, or it turns me on...and sometimes it just hurts like hell and I take it because he wants me to. And knowing that he enjoys inflicting it, or seeing the marks it leaves on my body, or even just that he knows I am willing to do this for him--that makes it all worth it. Does anyone else find this to be the case with them? Just curious.

I'm definitely not what you would call a pain slut. I don't enjoy pain, aside from having my nipples squeezed very hard or my clit pinched or my ass fucked or toothpaste/Vics Vapor Rub on my clit. *ggls* Ok, maybe I like a wee tiny little bit of pain. Anyway, when I'm being spanked, I can't really say I enjoy it, but I enjoy letting him do it. I know he wants me to tell him when I'm not enjoying it, but I kinda hate to spoil his fun. I also enjoy seeing just how long I can stand it before I have to say something, but generally, he stops right before that happens, so I feel I have accomplished something. He got to have fun, and I now have lovely marks to show for it!

P.S. I have no idea where this quote came from, but my version is "Pain is only weakness leaving the body."

[Eponine]

oh, that applies to a few things I can think of... i love being made to do things I don't like.
Mostly it's humiliation-related acts that get that reaction, but occasionally pain works it's way in. I'm a pretty heavy masochist, but I don't always enjoy the pain as it's being inflicted. I do enjoy that I'm not enjoying it however, which I think is what the OP was saying.

Yes.. for me... i get off on Master truly enjoying my pain, tears, humiliation, fear. The only pain I truly enjoy, in a vacuum, is nipple pinching, and only to a certain extent. Nothing else is enjoyable to me in and of itself- only the thrill of Master's sadism brings me pleasure... giving myself up so completely... that He can use me and my body however He wishes (and of course I trust Him and know He will not abuse that trust)... that is the thrill for me... I do also love being pushed, to endure as much as I can for His pleasure... _that_ is my pleasure... and my turn-on.

Only recently, with Master, did i discover how much i needed a sadist. A true sadist who will purely enjoy giving me pain and humiliation- not someone doing it b/c they know or think i will enjoy it- that doesn't work for me.

I love it when I tell Master, "my nipples are sore..." (of course with a grin) and He says, "Good," with a truly delicious, wicked grin.

I do have to add- those leftover pains are enjoyable to me in a purely phsyical sense as well as emotionally, being reminders of O/our time together.

[Ocean_Soul]

This has been a really interesting thread and I really got a lot out of it. Thanks everyone.

[Widget]

It is an interesting thought, devotion through pain, I had to think for a bit what i wanted to say when I first read it.

I have to say sometimes the sweetest moment is when someone lets me do something that will hurt them, offers it to me, asks me for more and allows me the trust to stop. It is more than devotion from that side, it is an acceptance of a responsibility as well. I know when I see the nail marks, bites or bruises that I was the one to make those, I marked what was mine to do so at that moment.

Conversely to accept what might not always be pleasurable in order to submit to the will of another, to allow yourself to overcome the fear of pain for the greater experience is also just as rewarding. It can be just as thrilling to look at the results in the days that follow because you know how they got there and it reinforces the submission felt when they were recieved.

[^firefly^]

P.S. I have no idea where this quote came from, but my version is "Pain is only weakness leaving the body."

You know what's funny? I think of that exact quote sometimes when I'm enduring something that doesn't feel good. I just imagine letting go of my weaknesses to please him, and that works for me.

And to clarify, I'm going to agree with what several others have said...there's many things that don't always feel good right away (though if I'm in the right mindset, I don't always notice how much they *hurt* at the time)...but later, looking at my marks and bruises, feeling my tired and sore muscles...yeah, it always feels better in hindsight! And I love the lingering reminders....bruises, welts, bite marks *sigh* I want to remember it days later...

[butterflySlave4u]

:bump:

i found this, hidden way back in the archives....it's just about a year old, and i think it holds much meaning to many of us, and so i have bumped it back into play, so to speak, as there are more opinions than are already rendered here, and i, for one, would love to read them...(good run-on sentence, huh?)

[Borgs_slave]

I see what you are saying but for me the endurance of pain is not how I see myself being devoted to him. I enjoy the pain and he enjoys giving it. My greatest pleasure comes from pleasing him , which isn't just physical things. I am a masochist and enjoy the pain and the release it gives me. Enduring something for him such as pain is just a small part of our relationship and dynamic.

The love and devotion I show him everyday through my service and obedience to him gives me the greatest pleasure. Anything one does in service shows devotion not just the physical aspects.