Morality

[jimmer]

No, I'm not going to rant on about the morality of BDSM love--Everyone's entitled to love as they wish.

But I do have questions about what we, as masters/mistresses, do to our subs, and what it says about us. I would appreciate it, fiercely, if an experienced master could contact me to talk over some of the questions that I have about the lifestyle.

That said, my questions are of an emotional sort, rather than a physical one--Not the how-to's but closer to the why-for's.

Contact me either via email, private message here, or my AIM, which I'm including: AuthIdError.

-Jim

[TomOfSweden]

You're more likely to get a good answer if you post your questions here. No matter the level of experience of the master, it doesn't mean they will interpret the question correctly. You're anonymous here anyway, so you've got nothing to lose.

Go for it. I promise I'll do my best to give you as good an answer as I can. But the first thing I learned in the BDSM scene is that the morals of the vanilla scene aren't so much to guide us but as an instrument to judge others. A tool in order for some people to elevate themselves. The only rule is not to hurt others. But I'm guessing that's what your questions are regarding?

[_ID_]

Not to hurt others? But I LOVE spanking subs!

[TomOfSweden]

Not to hurt others? But I LOVE spanking subs!

:freakout:

[ElectricBadger]

The morality, to me, is ultimately simple.

I would never do anything to another person that would damage them or that they would not consent to.

Certain groups -- children, mentally handicapped, animals -- do not have the power to consent.

Beyond this, it is important to understand that pain is NOT the opposite of pleasure, but is in fact very closely related, those being the only two extreme sensations available to humanity. One can inflict pain or discomfort to produce pleasure, and doing so is a way of showing love. Nor is this uncommon -- who hasn't playfully bitten their partner's neck, or revelled in a forbidden tryst in a car's awkward seat? We are not a subgroup per se, with unique tastes or desires; being in the scene is simply a matter of extremism.

[elliemay]

Morality and BDSM is both a complex and very simple subject to me.

Let me explain.

Safe, sane consentual - simple, Safe meaning all possible safeguards are in place and if specialist knowledge is needed it has been gained, plus safeword.

Sane and concentual apart for then obvious also including the ability to make an informed consent, judgement not being impared by excessive alcohol and sane meaning that my emotional status doesn't make play unpractical.

It gets complex because our morality is so interconnected with emotions, what we feel to be unacceptable and what we have been taught are 'normal'
Simple expressions like 'anal sex is only for gays, whores and prostitutes' (it's not true but if you have been taught it then you may well feel 'dirty' for enjoying it) see if you enjoy it what is the problem but moral standards are ingrained into us and so we tend to question our personal position based upon societys values, sometimes that is why it can be such a relief when we find places like this and have a different meter to value things by.

The key to me is to try to judge what you are doing in relation to your moral standards of your personal hard lines and beliefs and not let the othside force limits onto you that could do more harm that good.