~ willow ~

some days i can't find you,
and those are the days that test...torment,
the days when i lay at your feet in wait
patience, my virtue and my comfort.


some days you're all around me,
and i'm dizzy with love and light,
you humour me and enjoy me,
your pleasure is my joy.


some days you grip my heart fiercely,
and those are the days that bind me to you the closest,
when my surrender is demanded,
and you are ...

The hurt runs hot…jagged…tearing me to shreds
From the inside out
My heart swells with ugly anger
Filling my chest
Suffocating me

The tears fall scorching down my cheeks

The sobs are drowning in my throat

My hands reach out and grasp at straws…marked love, hope, devotion

A moments relief as I hold them to my chest
Curling up, soothed by their promise..

Then a memory, a word brings it crashing down ...

A beautiful poem of love, written and spoken by a gorgeously inspiring poet..


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AxQZlXFL_4&feature=related

“When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice it is small, but we do not criticize it as “rootless and stemless.”
‘We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment required of a seed.

“When it first shoots up out of the earth, we don’t condemn it as immature and underdeveloped, nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear.
‘We stand in wonder at the process taking place, and give the plant the care it needs at each stage of its development. ...

Fuck it! The times those words have blurted from my lips…bursting from my psyche… Those times have occurred more often then I care to admit. I have existed so close to this edge for months…tense with frustrated anger one minute, only to dissolve into desperate hot tears of aching defeat. I never expected it to be easy, but I never dreamed it would be this hard.

Master is my rock. While I have bounced from one emotion to the next he’s never given up on me…on us. While he didn’t ...

I guess I should have been excited the way most of the other girls were, but I couldn’t get myself to react.

I felt very still and very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo.

The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath

​Tumultuous passion
Lustful desire
Dire craving
Slow it down
i just want to slow it down

Deep longing
Constant ache
Surrendering love
Hold me close
i just want you to hold me close

Souls entwine
Hearts collide
Kindred spirit
i am yours
i just want to be yours

Exhausted
Withdrawn
i keep trying
i lay at your feet
i live to lay at your feet

All that i am ...

~ When you can touch a wound and it doesn't hurt, then you know you have truly forgiven ~

Don Miguel Ruiz

Oh, to be dragged through the wringer in more ways than one…. When the emotional strain becomes physical and you fight with all you have because you know it’s worth it. The push and pull of loving and surrendering to another…when you give your all only to wonder if you should take some back. When you lose where you end and he begins. When the future seems bright and dark at the same time…showing promise one minute and the destruction of you the next. When your heart aches when you’re together, ...

i've pondered much these last few weeks. Not always logically and not always coherently. And not always respectfully…but punishment ensued so we’ll close the door on THAT tyvm, hehe.

Communication, the key to the success of any relationship, has proven to be not as simple as i thought. There are so many levels of communication and it's not always comfortable. Not only that, communication has to be paired with understanding. If nothing else, i've learnt it's best to err on the ...