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At the dinner table tonight: Boyfriend, Bike Boy, the roommate of Boyfriend's crush (neither the roommate nor the crush know that I'm sleeping with Bike Boy), and me. Boyfriend cooked dinner, incredible from-scratch Japanese food, and afterwards we all watched a movie together. I have an agreement with Bike Boy that we not flirt openly, and tonight this meant that I was almost too overwhelmed with desire to even look him in the eyes. He texted me today that he bought a toy of some sort (it's a surprise) ...

So, i don't think BD is interested in bdsm at all. In fact i am getting the distinct impression that he thinks i'm a little twisted for being turned on by it at all. Seems like he's barely tollerating topping me. I told him what i liked and he did it for me once. I think it kind of turned him off, so i'm just gonna let it go. He tried that's all a person can ask for right? I kind of wish i'd never said anything about it. Having tasted it a little and then knowing that i'll never have it again is ...

A pain...deep inside.

A wound inflicted in a moment of hate.

Images, feelings, replay like old movies.

Frustrated words spinning inside your head

Circling like the vultures of an arrid and relentless dessert.

Voices pushing you forward into the abyss.

Twisted faces with evil eyes closing in

Tortured voices uttering the historic remnents of life.

They wont be quiet, words of poison, ...

Sometimes I sit and wonder if I am wrong for being here on this site. For my husband is not into this life style and does not like it. I am new but would love to explore it with him. But I know he would not approve of it so I keep things to myself and find some pleasure here. Is that so wrong ? I ask ?

W

As I sit and listen to "Lovesong" all I can do is think how happy I am right now. In a state of bliss. Our world is coming together perfectly and I can only see it getting better as the years pass. I am completely content to sit at Masters feet worshiping him, giving all I have of myself. I am grateful for his acceptance and strive to be all he expects of me.

I love you Master.....more than you'll ever realize.

I just got back from a wonderful weekend with my Master. He is still going easy on me, taking it slow - letting things come naturally. I love him for that - I love how he gives us both time, how he makes me feel so complete in my submission, how he touches me.

I am still aglow with these feelings he planted in me. Today I know what the source, what the true form of my submission is. I know now that even though I might be naturally submissive - it has never really worked one hundred ...

Just another day at the madhouse...

For those who are reading this for the first time and don't know (that's most of you I guess), I have been living in a YMCA hostel in Worcester for almost three years since I was made redundant from my job on the railway here in England, lost my home soon after through repossession and then said goodbye to the dream of emigrating to Canada and a new life with Catherine (my wife) and her two cats Ernestine & Wendell

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i really hate jungle juice, and anything blue mixed in my non virgin drinks.. ewwwie.

I have a new Master and He has taken me for the first time truly out of myself, it is something only dreamt of that I can not get out of my mind. Looking at my welts and bruises along my back and ass it is with longing that I touch them... longing for the next time my Master will let me be with him. I find true happiness sitting at His feet, hearing Him tell me that it is His ass, having His kisses along my back after He has flogged me for hours, reminding me to take care of my skin, telling me ...

My feelings of being a HUGE SLUT borders on the line of repression from family and friends. My inner desires craving every single piece of skin that my eyes feast on. my feelings of submission however, are what give me up to anyone who takes advantage of me.

Every day, as i talk to my Master, especially on Saturdays. my whole body becomes excited and juiced up. Anticipating a surprise attack!

My ultimate sub/Dom experience is to be tied strangled and tortured. I envision ...