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I’ve spent the last week reflecting…a deep introspection that seems to have left me with no solutions. Love is my problem, that is certain. I am a slave to it. What is right pales in comparison to what I feel. But this is a love without hope…without resolution…without the fairy tale ending all romantics live for. No amount of sleep, tears, or whiskey is changing anything. I imagine if I wait long enough…stay strong long enough…that bitterness will seep in and solve everything for me.
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So this will be my first blog entry since joining the Library, I have truly enjoyed reading stories, soaking up the insights and the thoughts of other people. Since I am fairly new to the Lifestyle, this to me is a great source of knowledge for those who have questions and wonder if this is truly right for them. It is a wonderful and freeing to the mind and soul to be able to share your feelings, wants and desires without judgment. I have found this to be true in all my encounters with people ...

I still hear your voice echo in my head
I think of you and us as I lie in bed

Every night my demons sing me a sad lullaby
I try to block them out but they hum until I cry

Your once precious words now fill me with sorrow
I hug myself whimpering your name and hope for a brighter tomorrow

How could I have once been your constant and center
Now my tears fall like raindrops when I read your old letter

Your comforting jokes ...

This was not intended to be a blog, rather an entry on my own profile seen only by my friends....but the word count was too long, and i choose not to edit it, fearing that any change will lessen its meaning. So it is left to fate as to who will read it:

i've come to realize that metamorphosis is not necessarily a good thing. Generally, my attitude towards it has been positive, assuming that the changing of one's self is a betterment....the caterpillar emerging into a new and beautiful ...

I feel his warm whisper against my neck right below my ear, “I want you to do something for me; you’ll be scared and self-conscious but do it anyway.”

Immediately my heart pounds hard against my chest and I feel his hand tighten around me pulling me flush against his body. The palm of his hand warm right under my left breast; his thumb stroking my nipple. My body goes limp and I know instantly….we know instantly, that I am his and I will gladly do anything he commands of me.
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Kneeling at his feet always feels like home. His eyes on me when he looks down at me when he’s taking a break from work; I could sit here for hours, I love the content look on his face when he looks at me at his feet. We both know I belong here.

It never lasts that long though, and that’s my next favorite part of being with him.

His sudden command to me, “Stand.” My breath catches, and I know exactly how he expects me to stand. Facing him, my legs spread wide, ...

I long to belong to a strong Dominant man
Someone that wants me with my flaws, scars, and mixed up pain
I want him tell me everything will be alright
Please take away this lonely pain and replace with bright light

The hope I once had now replaced with despair
I fear that my Dom will never be here
I require too much time and effort I’ve told more than once
Please train me to be a better sub that doesn't require so much

I long to please ...

Why assign tasks?

The first and foremost reason is to connect with the whore over whatever distance may divide you. Without the everyday person to person interaction that is prevalent in non-distant relationships, it is difficult for many people to remain focused on the relationship itself. A distant partner is to easily pushed down in the priority chain as day to day events intrude and demand attention on their own. By assigning tasks, the Owner requires commitment from the ...

Since the whore's very existence is to serve and please her owner, it is important that she understand exactly what does please him. This requires study and vigilance so that she can comprehend and interpret his needs and desires. She must be constantly aware of his moods, his ideas, his interests and his needs. She must therefore become the mirror of his deepest thoughts, reflecting back to him the answer to his demands and his desire.

She must seek to engage him in conversation ...

The Making of a Classy Whore

Rule #3 The Tempest Beneath the Calm

We have dealt a bit with the outward parts of your transformation. But what about the inside transformation. This transformation must include a number of internal changes as well as external changes. Rule #2 mentions several times the fact that while the Classy Whore may appear to be elegant and sophisticated on the outside, beneath that veneer she remains a whore at heart and chooses her lingerie

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