Enseignez-moi, s'il vous-plait

I'm back. Again. It's been a loooong journey since the first posts in 2008 when I was first admitting to myself I wanted to be submissive. 8 years of a relationship, 5 of those married, have finally come to an end. Lots learned, but the most important is that I cannot give up myself for someone else. There's a major difference to enjoying submission and being walked upon.

She never became the Domme I wanted. She wasn't able to fully admit to herself what she wanted. And so I went ...

I was abused as a child and also as a young adult. One of my abusers attempted to use bdsm as an excuse because she knew that my previous girlfriend and I had been into it. I have since learned that rape is rape, no matter your sexual preference or turn-ons, but I still struggle with being a sub sometimes. I feel guilt over enjoying consensual play, wondering if some part of me did "want it" (as my abuser so frequently told me) and asked for it. I know that being a sub does not me I can be used/abused ...

years ago is truly when it all began. I was living in Beaverton (yeah, yeah, i know, the lesbo living in beaverton, realllll funny) Oregon and I decided to take my interest into BDSM past the part where i read some stories on nifty and then get myself off. An acquaintance of mine mentioned being into the scene and we were going to check out some clubs (which are apparently plentiful in portland) to see what it's all about. until i found out she was into bloodletting and that freaked me out. Now, ...

which is why i've been avoiding it. life has been crazy and I have been avoiding a lot lately. Currently I'm avoiding school work by blogging. The circle never ends.

So after the initial, "hey this could work" with my Domme, we wasted no time in trying it out. We had played around with spanking and biting before and we both have extremely dirty mouths when it comes to sex, but never in a distinguished domme/sub sort of way. And sex has been an issue with us due to her teeny tiny ...

years ago is truly when it all began. I was living in Beaverton (yeah, yeah, i know, the lesbo living in beaverton, realllll funny) Oregon and I decided to take my interest into BDSM past the part where i read some stories on nifty and then get myself off. An acquaintance of mine mentioned being into the scene and we were going to check out some clubs (which are apparently plentiful in portland) to see what it's all about. until i found out she was into bloodletting and that freaked me out. ...