Recent Blogs Posts

(gentle giant)
He did not pick me up when he found me crumpled and fallen upon the rocks. He knelt beside and held me, listened and talked and though I cannot remember our words that fateful day 40 years ago, his voice soothed me, healed me enough that I had the will to get up and walk again on my own. He taught me hope.

Many times, in my life I have found my self cast off and so completely alone with no one to turn to, he was there, just a simple phone call away, to talk, ...

It appears to me that I cannot control my disrespectful nature (not really a huge surprise)
I have yet again disrespected a prominent and prestigious Dominant here in the Library, and this gives me great pain to know I do this.
The last time I left the forums t'was because I was in a relationship that ended badly, yet the other submissive was dealing with greater pain and had more need of support from friends here than I and my being here only served to be salt in her wound, so I chose ...

thrashing in silence
trapped in emulative
echoes of absence
with nary a word
naught
not you
nothing.

No single utterances
of thought
not even a ricochet
of synapse
wavering
before spark,
before a flare
of hope
connection
cognition
realization
before screaming
in cemented frustration
of being so completely
lost and
in the dark.


Whitewashed ...

Resistance to creativity was heavier than
a thought of resistance
my mind not embraced nor caressed
in a terrace of lilac.
Shades of fragrance and silk were more
sweet than coy
And I wondered where it went,
where it wandered
and wafted
Enveloping completely
Did it ever leave?
Resistant
To the futility of scent
and sensation
Never physical
Yet so physically embolden
By the sweetness of you
(my ...

You deny me an audience before your passing
Deny me the honor to sit at your feet and read you your favorite prose
Or stories
Or just to ease your pain at each breath you breathe.
To feed you tiny morsels of delicacies to tempt you to eat
To entice you to live one more day as the pain takes over more.


You were my gentle giant,
the man who took me, broken from the barren rocks, as a child
Who laid an ear to my own pain and terror
...

An echo, not of this world
Not even an essence of word or sound
But a reflection of a past moment
Best forgotten
Soon a ripple beyond vibration
To never be again.
A shimmer of light
Momentarily genuflecting
Imagination or misconception
More apt delusional.


You thought you heard her whisper
Behind the scream
Of the barren and void
But it was just the wind caressing past the raging fires of angst
In a ...

People do not abandon others at will
Or so I thought,
Who would make a play upon others heart
To maim and destroy?
Life was a baby grand waiting for subtle caresses
or passionate clashes;
symphonies to be played,
Champagne in fluted crystal
Or the heeled shoe of a lady
to dribble sultry
merriment of the innocent.
Belief in Gentlemen with honor
Integrity of all classes
But who wears a moral compass, not I!
It was ...

I wanted to write of the raw caustic tears corroding me apart,
Of the screams inside piercing nails through my shredded heart
Sobbing in unadulterated, wild, feral grief
Of every time you burned the inside of my eyes with your rejection
There could be no greater pain.


I want to write of my love, patience, even need
Needing only your love and acceptance,
please.


I have learnt and grown beyond your years
and dearly wish ...

The anger is so damning, and it is all I can do
to hold on to some glimpse of goodness
that used to be me.
Anger so frothing,
a blazing, seared cannon upon the shores of innocent bystanders
belching flames to raze flesh and hearts,
wipe out any hint of a smile,
cloud the skies so the sun would be nary but a distant memory
imprinted in brackish blood of a thousand impeached souls
who strived to protect love and land
yet failed,
who ...

Her sweetness was cloying,
saccharine.
Captivation;
a decoy to your own darkness.
Salvation or would that be salivating
to savour
some hypothetical savior
within her?

A deacon
within your spittle of damnation,
She is your only hope
which you contrive.
A certain feel,
emulative desire,
subvert to exile all
but you choking her.

Your need exchanges to greed
and you believe
she ...