The Perfect Submissive Guy Blog Title

Verbal training, our next category, like physical training is multi-faceted, covering numerous areas. Also like all categories, there are natural overlaps between this category and others. Again I will mention that while the specific category exposition posts may be read in any order, for anyone who may have missed Understanding Submissive Training, the overview, I feel it would be useful to read that post first for background before proceeding to the specific training category posts. As with physical training, I will provide not only explanations but also offer a few illustrative personal examples of the verbal training instruction that I have received from past dominants.

Addressing the Dominant

At its most basic, verbal training includes how the submissive addresses his or her dominant. It has been my experience that dominants have decided preferences about how a submissive is permitted to address them and you may be confident that this information will be provided to you.

It has been my experience that once you have submitted to a dominant, in all likelihood you will never be allowed to address them in the manner you would address a friend, relative, co-worker or even someone you met at a social function. A good analogy I think is the way things are done in the military.

Having served in the military, I have had commanding officers. As a pseudonym let’s call one of them Steven Smith. My commanding officer’s rank was captain. I was a sergeant at the time I served under Steven Smith, so he outranked me by a good margin. The military has a formal and expected way that you must address a person of superior rank to show proper respect and to acknowledge them as your superior. You are never permitted to address them informally by using their first name or by simply using their last name alone.

The expected way to address a superior is by preceding their last name with their rank. Thus if I wished to begin a dialogue with Steven Smith I addressed him as “Captain Smith.” If Captain Smith was speaking to me and it became necessary for me to show my understanding of something or acknowledge an order, I could respond with “Yes, Captain Smith” or simply, “Yes, sir.” In a similar vein, when greeting him, I could say, “Good morning, Captain Smith,” “Good morning, Sir,” or even “Good morning, captain.”

There is a similar protocol when it comes to addressing a Dom or Domme. Dominants typically will inform you of the honorarium that he or she expects (e.g., Master, Mistress, Sir, Ma’am, etc). My experiences with Mistresses has been quite similar to my military experiences. Using one of them as an example, named Emily, I was required to address her as “Mistress Emily” or simply as “Mistress.” When Mistress Emily was speaking to me and it became necessary for me to show my understanding of something or acknowledge an instruction, I could respond with “Yes, Mistress Emily” or “Yes, Mistress.” She also allowed me to respond in such circumstances with “Yes, ma’am.” I have had dommes who did not wish to be addressed as “ma’am” and forbid its use, eliminating that option. Another domme I have had did not like to be addressed as “Mistress” and instead required me to address her as Miss Angela. She too allowed me to use “ma’am” in responding to her when she was speaking.

The point is, as far as verbal training goes, the submissive is given a particular way of addressing his or her dominant and adherence is expected. Departure will likely result in swift correction. Many I’m sure are familiar with the old saying, “Familiarity breeds contempt.” What it means is allowing a person you have authority over to interact with you in an informal manner can erode that authority and your control. Thus, to effectively exercise power over them and command respect, they must be kept at arms length and allowed to interact with you on only a formal level.

Asking Questions and Offering Comments

Another part of verbal training involves the submissive asking questions of or offering comments to the dominant. In most instances, based on my experience, the submissive is never permitted to simply blurt out a question or make a comment without first asking permission (i.e.., “Master, may I ask a question” or “Mistress, may I make a comment”). Of course if asked by the dominant if he or she has comments or questions, then it is perfectly fine for the submissive to ask the questions or make the comments.

Use of Third Person

Personally I think this next topic is an antiquated practice and actually more suited to master - slave relationships than D/s, but invariably some dominants still use it and so it bears covering. Some dominants forbid the submissive to use personal pronouns (I, me, my, etc.) when referring to themselves. So for example, referring back to the previous idea above, when seeking permission to ask a question or make a comment, the submissive would state, “Sir, may this submissive ask a question (offer a comment)?” or “Mistress, may your submissive offer a comment (or ask a question)?”

This practice can be taken so far as, “Mistress, would it please you for your submissive to offer a comment?” When restricted from the use of personal pronouns to reference self, it sometimes requires some creativity to form the question or statement properly to comply with this speech restriction. I have been subjected to this, so despite my own personal opinions about the practice, it is still in use.

Similarly, a submissive may be restricted from laying verbal claim to anything including parts of his or her own body, prohibited from using words like my and mine. Thus, as an example, in times past I have been required to “present” myself to a dominant, which is a formal ritual of sorts where the submissive offers individual sexual parts to the dominant for his or her use and pleasure. Thus, if I was offering my penis for the pleasure and use of my Mistress, I was not permitted to say, when restricted from the use of my and mine, “Mistress, I offer my cock for your use and pleasure.” Instead I was required to say, “Mistress, I offer your cock for your use and pleasure.” It sounds a bit weird at first, but as you may note the later statement eliminates the word “my” and also at the same time acknowledges that my Mistress rather than me owns my cock along with the rest of me.

Other Speech Restrictions

Besides personal pronouns, many dominants often choose to restrict the speech of the submissive in other ways. One personal example I have experienced is that I once had a Mistress who forbid me to use contractions either in speech or writing and if I did so, I received swift correction. Thus instead of “didn’t” I had to use “did not” or instead of “wouldn’t” I had to use “would not.” A dominant can simply choose any one word or multiple words and eliminate them from the vocabulary of the submissive.

Use of Specific Words for Specific Things

The final topic I want to cover in verbal training is the required use of certain words. It could be considered the opposite of speech restriction. Instead of being forbidden to use a certain word or word form, some dominants require the use of specific words for specific things. These requirements often have a purpose and motive beyond just verbal training, but it still fits nicely into the category. For example, a male dominant may require his female submissive to use the word “fuck” rather than “sexual intercourse,” “tits” instead of “breasts,” “pussy” or “cunt” in place of “vagina.” In the same manner, female dominants may require a male submissive to use “dick” or “cock” instead of “penis” and “balls” or “nuts” in place of “testicles.”

Also, often to accomplish other purposes, the dominant may choose to use and require the submissive to use unique words, especially for a one of their sexual parts. The example I offer from my own past experiences is a female dominant I once served who used the word “pussy” for my anus and the word “clit” for my penis and required that I use those words as well when referring to those parts. The primary purpose for this was that she knew it humiliated me since I was not a sissy sub, but still it was a practice that falls into the verbal training category.

There is probably a good deal more that could be discussed about verbal training, but hopefully enough has been presented here to give new subs an adequate understanding of what this category of submissive training entails.