The Perfect Submissive Guy Blog Title

Mental training is next up in our examination of submissive training. Training focused on the mental realm involves things like memorization, keeping a journal, improving concentration skills (i.e., meditation), acquiring new knowledge, improving problem solving skills and learning to bend the will more effectively to that of the dominant through development of greater determination to please and persistence to pursue tasks and assignments to successful conclusion. While more specifically associated with sexual conditioning, training a female submissive to orgasm on command can be considered a form of mental training.

Meditation and Keeping a Journal

To a great degree, the effectiveness of mental training is as dependent on the efforts of the submissive as on the instructional talents of the dominant since it involves matters of the will. For example a dominant may decree that a submissive engage in daily meditation or require him or her to keep a daily journal, yet it is actually dependent upon the submissive whether those activities result in a meaningful outcome.

As a person with a strong drive to please my dominant, in those instances when I was required to meditate or journal daily, I did apply my best efforts to those assignments and believe some of the most important breakthroughs I have experienced as a submissive occurred while engaging in those activities. Both provide opportunities for introspection that can reveal greater understanding of your submissive nature and how best to channel it for the mutual benefit of both partners in a D/s relationship.

Generally with meditation, the dominant assigns a focus topic and dictates the environment and length of the meditation period. As an example, I once served a Mistress who required that I kneel each morning for 15 minutes, immediately after waking. I was instructed to open the blinds and curtains of my bedroom window, remove all my clothing and kneel facing the window while meditating. She would provide the focus topics for the time of meditation and after the 15 minutes were up, I was required to journal what I felt were the most important answers or questions I came up with during the session. The sense of exposure I think served to heighten the experience for me making if even more productive. I did however make it a habit to be an early riser to minimize the chance of anyone observing me in such an exposed state. *smiles*

Memorization

Memorization is sometimes used as a means of sharpening the mind of a submissive or to help establish a specific mindset that the dominant wishes to instill. While I have only had limited experience with memorization assignments personally, I have known a submissive whose dominant required her to memorize entire BDSM fiction stories and poems verbatim, which she was then required to recite to him. My own experience has been limited to memorizing mantras, short statements that I was often required to compose myself, which were designed to pay tribute to my dominant or simply acknowledge her ownership and control. Mantras are similar to the positive affirmations some people recite to promote the flow of positive energies to help them make life changes. The dominant that introduced me to mantras required me to compose a new once each week that I was required to recite aloud from memory a specific number of times each day. Personally, I found mantras to be very powerful in keeping me in a submissive mindset.

Acquiring New Knowledge

In the interest of acquiring new knowledge I have often been given, especially during the early years of my submissive journey, research assignments on topics provided by my dominant that pertained to the BDSM lifestyle. For example I once was assigned to research erotic humiliation. After completing the research, I was required to write a paper in which I communicated the facts I learned about erotic humiliation and shared my personal feelings about whether scenes involving erotic humiliation were something that appealed to me or produced arousal.

Researching and writing assignments are often quite helpful in achieving growth and having your limits stretched. It is also effective in simply learning more about the lifestyle in general. Some dominants use research and writing assignments to lay the groundwork before introducing a submissive to some new scene activity that they have not yet experienced or that might even be a soft limit for them.

Occasionally dominants go as far as requiring their submissive to enroll in and complete formal education courses to enhance their general education or even require them to study and learn a foreign language.

Bending the Will

Dominants often engage in mental training for the purpose of helping a submissive to learn to be more obedient or less willful. One technique that I have experienced was being given small repetitive tasks to complete with a deadline.

As examples I was required by one Mistress to email her daily by a specific time before noon. In the email I was required to wish her well for the day, tell her I was thinking of her and provide her with some bit of news that I felt she would be interested in. Another required me to sign on to a chat messenger at a certain time of day, every day unless prevented by work and remain signed on for a specific number of minutes. On some days she would sign on and we actually chatted but generally she wouldn't. The purpose of both exercises was to teach me to bend my will to the Mistress and to show my understanding that my time belonged to her to be used as she saw fit.

Oftentimes, activities like orgasm control and denial, clothing or food being chosen for the submissive and a host of other things are required by dominants for mental training purposes. Using orgasm control as an example, while an activity that accomplishes sexual ends, it also reinforces for the submissive the dominant's control and ownership, hence bending the will of the submissive to the dominant's will.

In summary, mental training is one of the most effective tools in a dominant's training tool box to instill knowledge, establish and maintain a framework of control over a submissive and to reinforce obedient behavior.