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should you believe your Dom/me?

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Question: Do you believe your Master?

Question: Should you?

Answer: No.

At least "no, not if s/he's doing it right."

We are hostages of a long-ago philosophical debate than many don't even know occurred. The setting for the debate was the 18th century, and the scene was western Europe. For centuries, our universe was filled with the Unknowable. Things we had no way of understanding:

where do spices comes from? The border of Eden, which is guarded by snakes.
what is the function of the spleen? It houses your soul.
what happens when women speak in public? Their uteruses collapse.
why do we become fevered? Excess sanguinary fluid in your system.
Some of these stories persisted for millennia. And since there was no way to assess them, people simply believed. That changed in the 18th century, when we began developing the tools that allowed us to examine the sky above and the world within. Suddenly, we didn't need to believe in the old way; we could investigate, assess and conclude. That prejudice is even buried in many definitions of the word "believe."

To believe is: To exercise belief in; to credit upon the authority or testimony of another; to be persuaded of the truth of, upon evidence furnished by reasons, arguments, and deductions of the mind, or by circumstances other than personal knowledge; to regard or accept as true.

To say that you believe your Master says that your mind tells you that the weight of evidence supports his (or her) statement.

And that's simply not good enough. In a fully functional D/s relationship, the couple is bound by their complementarity. My sub and I understand that there's something missing in her life (and mine) and we strive together toward completion. If Dom/mes are being true, we live to complete our subs. We obsess and agonize and fret and fuss about them. And we act upon them. We direct them to do things they've never done before, things which terrify them, and leave them twist between the terrors of an action and of our displeasure.

And on that precise moment hangs the relationship. When I say, "then you must be pierced," it is no longer enough merely to believe me. The objectively assessed evidence will be confounding, and the sub's anguish will exceed all reason.

No, at that point, she must not believe me. She must believe in me. And that's very different. I could show you a picture of me rock climbing, plastered against El Capitan's sheer 1000 meter face. And you'll believe me when I say, "I know rock climbing." But what if, instead, I invite you to go rock climbing with me? I'll check the knots on your harness and run your safety line through the carabineer around my own waist, tying your life to mine. I'll assure you that everything will be all right. But, as we take a step onto a rock face treacherous enough to snap every bone in your body a dozen times over, the proper response is no longer "I believe you" but "I believe in you," because you are way past anything like intellectual assent. You have set yourself in relationship with me, and you are trusting me with your life.

If you ever went to Sunday school as a child, you learned about God's direction to Abraham: kill your only son for me. Genesis 22:

Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!”

“Here I am,” he replied.

Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and … sacrifice him as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.”

When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son.

Put aside all the church school crap: Abraham was shaking so badly that he could barely hold the deadly blade. He wanted to vomit. But, with every fiber of his being, he believed in his God and raised the knife.

With time, a sub ceases to believe her Dom/me and comes to believe in you, instead. At that moment, her defenses fall and her heart lays open to your blade.

And, dear God, my Brothers and Sisters: pray that when that day comes, you prove worthy of that gift, for your soul is in as great a jeopardy as hers. Thoughtless, negligent, arrogant, cocksure: you will crush her without ever knowing. Passionate, devoted, humble, thoughtful: you might give birth to a new world for her. You would actually earn her belief in you.



Updated 03-25-2011 at 11:45 AM by Solis (typo!)




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