lorem angelum

Broken Wings

Rate this Entry

8 Comments

, 08-24-2014 at 07:51 AM (999 Views)

I was sooooo new when I came to this site, lost and wondering about all the things I had inside me all my life. I felt like a little kid, wide eyed and naive of all that happens in the world. This site has been extremely good to me....and for me. But now it has torn me asunder, I am adrift without my udder. I know this to shall pass as all things do in life, but I do not know how long it will take.....
I am broken to so many pieces I cannot collect them all. I didn't know I could feel such pain, like a part of me is missing that I will never get back. I feel like it was ripped from my soul, leaving a empty aching space that will always be there. My heart is shredded...it will never be given again in this lifetime. It has seen many trials and stood strong, but I do not know if it will recover this time.
But it has also been wonderful for me too, I have meet and know the most honest, wonderful, accepting people in the world...my Sir having been one of them. I learned so much about myself and what I am capable of, but I KNOW I am capable of so much more. I am proud to have been collared by a wonderful Dom....but not everything in life works out the way we wish it too...*sad smile*. But I am not gone for I have learned through this experience that I am not a complete person without this in my life. I have learned from a good man not to be ashamed or embarrassed by my wants and desires, they are MINE and natural as the day is long. He taught me to free myself in ways that even I had no idea I could do...*small smile*. These were what I was born with and now that after all my years I have found myself truly....I will not let it go.
I have no regrets for this was one of the most wonderful, joyful, enlightening, heartrending experiences of my life, but I would take the ride all over again. I am taking a small break from the site...but I will be here off and on for I have made many a good friend. Enjoy your days and stay kinky....

Yours, la

Updated 08-24-2014 at 08:44 AM by lorem angelum

Categories: Uncategorized

« What fate has wrought.... Main The Beauty of Lifestyle....... »

Comments

Mrs-Sett {Kuve} - 08-24-2014 11:20 AM
Such words, my thoughts to you as I would hold a dear friend, always *hugs*

Sett xx
lorem angelum - 08-24-2014 01:14 PM
Thank you Mrs....I have felt such loving support from so many. It is what makes people in this lifestyle so special.....
xxz

Updated 08-24-2014 at 06:07 PM by lorem angelum
sweetlynaughty - 08-24-2014 04:12 PM
Lorem, I am truly sadden to read this blog. Please know even though we have not connected as friends (yet - maybe someday) you are in my thoughts and I'm sending you hugs and much emotional support.

Updated 08-24-2014 at 04:26 PM by sweetlynaughty
lorem angelum - 08-24-2014 06:06 PM
Originally Posted by sweetlynaughty

Lorem, I am truly sadden to read this blog. Please know even though we have not connected as friends (yet - maybe someday) you are in my thoughts and I'm sending you hugs and much emotional support.

Thank you soo much...I have had a outpouring it has quite touched me in ways that I cannot explain. I am always open to new friends, support and sisterhood are important.

la
cutielady - 08-24-2014 06:29 PM
sweetheart i love you so much and just want to hug you hard im praying for healing over your heart
TheDoctor - 08-25-2014 05:45 AM
Lorem, you and I have only interacted very superficially, and only once or twice... passing hellos in the chat room and the like. And while your other friends are saddened by what they read here, I actually take heart from your words.

You are very honest in the expression of your pain, and I am in no way happy to know you are hurting. However, what I read in your post is that you are strong, and that you have no regrets. And that, lorem, is beautiful. It is so hard to be in pain and actively decide that you have no regrets. With the level of pain you expressed, I am surprised, pleasantly, that you are not just retreating into a shell, just abandoning the lifestyle and yourself along with it. Yes, this has hurt you badly, and I am so, so sorry for that. But where others see pain and strife, I see strength, of spirit and of character.

My hope for you is that the pain fades quickly, but that memories never do. Be well, lorem, and know that your steadfastness in suffering is an inspiration, even to someone you have never really met.

Sincerely,
The Doctor
lorem angelum - 08-25-2014 07:44 AM
Originally Posted by cutielady

sweetheart i love you so much and just want to hug you hard im praying for healing over your heart

Thank you so much cutie, having you and jane here these last days....I have no words as to describe how such unconditional love and support helped me in a dark time. love you xxxxxx
lorem angelum - 08-25-2014 07:58 AM
Originally Posted by TheDoctor

Lorem, you and I have only interacted very superficially, and only once or twice... passing hellos in the chat room and the like. And while your other friends are saddened by what they read here, I actually take heart from your words.

You are very honest in the expression of your pain, and I am in no way happy to know you are hurting. However, what I read in your post is that you are strong, and that you have no regrets. And that, lorem, is beautiful. It is so hard to be in pain and actively decide that you have no regrets. With the level of pain you expressed, I am surprised, pleasantly, that you are not just retreating into a shell, just abandoning the lifestyle and yourself along with it. Yes, this has hurt you badly, and I am so, so sorry for that. But where others see pain and strife, I see strength, of spirit and of character.

My hope for you is that the pain fades quickly, but that memories never do. Be well, lorem, and know that your steadfastness in suffering is an inspiration, even to someone you have never really met.

Sincerely,
The Doctor

Sir,
Yes I do remember talking with you briefly in passing, I haven't been in chat lately and am regretful for this fact. It is where I have found all these special, wonderful people...you included even though we are well known to each other, that have given me their love and unconditional support.
To express my pain as you say is my way of healing, writing, getting things down help me deal with the turmoil that goes on inside me every hour of every day. My Sir was wonderful to me, I would never regret or want to lose what he taught me about myself. The wonderful times and what he gave me far outweigh, in some ways what I am going through now.
I know someday this hollow, lost and painful feeling I have inside me will eventually fade. I feel I will make stronger like all trials in life do. What is the saying "That which does not kill us makes us stronger" Friedrich Nietzsche. I hope in the end, I will reach out to grasp with both hands to grab a hold of that which I know inside of me, I can be. So thank you Sir, for your kind uplifting words that have given me one more layer of hope.
with much thanks,
la