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So why is it that people who look at the BDSM world think that all we do is have sex???? All those sanctimonious, unknowing and uneducated people out there just assume that since we tie people up and “beat them” we must all have sex with each other in one big orgy right??? We are all just perverted, unhealthy and a bunch of promiscuous freaks that get off on hurting each other, we don’t know anything about love and commitment. I can just join Fet or any one of those sites to become a member of a group and go to a “social” to have sex with all kinds of different people…right?????

No asshole you are not right, none of you are right about us or how we live our lives. Plus who are you do judge us anyway, what is the saying…”he who is without sin cast the first stone”. But I digress away from my original thoughts on this subject…grin. This is about a conversation that came up this weekend in which someone posted to a group…”New to the sex party scene and would really like to get involved?” I mean, WTF… really, is that what you think we are all about, you and all those other vanilla people out there. Needless to say this person was set straight about how our “socials or munches” really work, munch is not a word for eating someone out….but for eating out in a social gathering among like-minded people, of which you are not one.

If the truth be told, I have lived and socialized in the vanilla lifestyle for many of my years…..(we won’t say how many grin). I did the standard night clubbing, parties and in general social gatherings along with the rest. But what people don’t realize or understand is that I have been treated with more respect, felt safer and knew I could rely on others to step up if things weren't right in this lifestyle then at most vanilla gathering. I have been to munches, dungeons, parties and not once have I ever felt uncomfortable or unsafe. A little unsure, yes, but I always felt comfortable and welcome. There was never those drunk staggering assholes that grouped me and thought it was their right just by me being there. How buying me a few drinks should entitle you to a quick and easy lay?? Pleassseeee and if you refuse, how they love to get nasty and let fly with the derogatory words. Not once have I been groped (without permission grin), been called names that were not agreed upon first and gave myself to someone without total trust and understanding knowing that person cares and respects me in my submission. The connection that comes from not just our bodies, but our minds and emotions…the exchange of power that makes you feel complete, from your head to your toes. Can anyone outside the lifestyle ever understand that??? How it is nice to walk into a social area knowing that everyone respects the boundaries that are set, that you have the right to say NO without all the ugliness that follows in normal social situations.

Sooo I am not saying we are not without our share of perverts and predators in the lifestyle. It is an easy way for them to cull about and find someone, lots of submissives and slaves are vulnerable to wanting to please someone, it is our nature no matter how strong we are as women in our own right. People who are new are especially vulnerable, they don’t know better and fall into it. Do we have people who will push and try to make you feel like you don’t have the option to say NO…..yes. Still I have never felt safer, people here are so open and willing to help you. No one judges (at least they shouldn't) and we all can be who we really are, inside, around each other. I have learned so much about myself, about the lifestyle and the people in it. I feel blessed to have finally stepped into the shoes I was meant to fill and am lucky enough to have made really good friends to help me along the way. Will it be without ups and downs, absolutely not. I am not saying this life is perfect, we are all humans when it comes right down to it. But it just pisses me off that people who don’t know or bother to try and understand what we are all about cheapen it into what THEY think is how we live our lives....sex parties...really.