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Delusional or dissembling? You get to vote!

Rating: 3 votes, 2.33 average.
I was at the grocery today, picking up a few things to help finish off dinner with friends tonight. (My 14-year-old is cooking. Breaths everywhere are bated.) My cashier was a woman in her 30s, of average build, dark burgundy hair and effusive manner. She was wearing two things that stood out: a man's shirt (old, soft, oxford) and a collar. A Turian-style collar: a finely woven brown leather cord formed into a choker. It rode just above her collarbone, close upon her throat. From the front descending three fair-sized links of polished steel chain. They just touched the fabric of her shirt.

He, after the usual chit-chat about "finding everything" and the weather: "That's a very nice collar you have."

she, seemingly off-balance: "Did you call it a 'collar'? It not a collar. Umm ... it's a my necklace."

He: "Well, it's very nicely done. That's beautiful workmanship on the leather."

she, warming: "Thanks. My boyfriend had it made for me. He put his hands around my throat one day, held them there for a minute and when he let go, he said 'now I know your size.' He worked with a man on the internet and had it made exactly the size of my neck!"

He: "It fits you well."

she: "Yeah, unless I gain weight. Then it would sort of choke me. My boyfriend said that would be a good reminder to be more careful."

He: "He seems very thoughtful."

she, holding out the links on her chain: "And he said these are for the past, the present and the future!"

He: "Wow. And do you wear it often."

she: "Oh, he wants me to wear it pretty much all the time, so I guess I do. Here's your change. Have a great evening!"

He: "Thanks. I hope you have a great evening, too."

she: "I will. I get off soon and he's waiting for me."


Uh-huh. Three possibilities strike me. Which strikes you?

1. Get off it, Solis. It's her necklace!

2. Collared yet clueless, there's a real surprise in her future.

3. Collared and crafty, she's simply deflecting colorful questions while in VanillaLand.




  1. just_ine's Avatar
    Oh, I vote 2. I think she is in for a surprise :do
  2. Echoes's Avatar
    2 as well, in for a surprise
  3. Solis's Avatar

    Delusional? As in:

    she, seemingly off-balance: "Did you call it a 'paddle'? It not a paddle. Umm ... it's a blood-flow stimulator and muscle toner! My boyfriend promised to help tone me up tonight ... as well as I'm polite and remember to thank him!"
  4. lorem angelum's Avatar
    *grin* I vote for two, I like the visual of his hands around her neck...that should have given her a slight clue......but it sounds like she has much untold surprise fun in her future....
  5. chipmunk_'s Avatar
    It sounds more fun if it's two. Just think of the adventure that lies ahead.

    Personally, though, i think it's three. i could imagine the conversation, "You wouldn't believe what happened at work today, Master! The nicest looking gentleman remarked on my collar ... and he called it a COLLAR! Do you think he knew???? I just panicked, and called it my necklace. Then i babbled for a while. I'm not even sure what i said. Do you think he knew????" By that time, her master was likely rolling on the floor laughing.


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