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  • Phenyx's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    Phenyx replied to a thread Orgasm Denial... Why? in BDSM 101
    Thank You both for Your beautiful answers and advice *smiles* SCOOOTTTY *rushes over and gives you a big hug* Good to see you again too my Friend *smiles* *bows her head in respect to Solis* I do love the idea of experiencing new things *smiles and nods* yes I do! And I think many of us here absolutely love being reduced to that 'drooling mass of sexual flesh, high on endorphins, and not about to think straight' state. *nods and nods* I know I do *wink* I do have another question though, in regards to using orgasm denial as a teaching tool, if I may. I understand what You are saying about being open with understanding the reasoning behind Your actions and intentions on what You are trying to teach and/or help with be it life goal, correcting bad behavior, teaching ways of submission, or easing the lonely spirit. I am curious though, are there times in which You, as the Dominant, will take notice of something in the submissive that needs Your attention and may offer a learning tool, such as the eight unfrosted mini wheat for breakfast, without first explaining what Your intentions and/or reasoning is? Meaning... would You give these directions because You know as his/her Dominant that she/he needs Your help in easing/correcting/or straightening out some issue? Or would You as the Dominant, always explain why You are giving direction before You expect it to be carried out. Could it be that this denial for longer periods of time has come from a place where it is easing the lonely spirit while adding the feel of reinforcing the habit of continuous surrender? Because denial for me is a daily battle so denying it every day would in fact draw my attention and focus to the One that has that control in turn would, through that battle to not break the rules, would in fact make me feel closer to the One.
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    Yes, I asked a very bad question yesterday. I am still here so far, unsure of what will come next
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    Thanks, i was a little worried about the impression i was sending. I understand the worry about oversharing and obsession. it's easy to make connections here talking back and forth, or at least feeling like you have them. For me? there is no friend so this is all I have, this forumn and those willing to put up with my nuttiness and even a little getting carried away. I really haven't been a member all that long but in the short time that i have? I really have gotten some great advice, feed back and even made friends. but not really having anyone else? i can see where worry over over-connecting would be a concern. Sort of like getting that first real deep breath and releasing it in relief because FINALLY you have someone that will speak without judgment or make you feel like you are an outcast because you like what you like and Hey? They actually know something.
    So ya, i get what your saying. It's been extremely rattling and unnerving for me to take the first step here but i'm really glad i did. i may still be all balled up and crazy with emotions but a few of the bigger concerns are at least starting to chip away at that nasty iceberg size emotional clusterfuck. Trust is really hard sometimes when you are still questioning yourself, that part really sucks.
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    I'm glad you have enjoyed the questions as i enjoyed hearing your answers.
    Your wife is a very lucky woman, too many people in todays world don't take commitment seriously anymore, it's actually kind of sad to see just how many people out there take for granted something as sacred as marriage. And I'm not judging multiple partners for those that prefer that kind of relationship nor denying the level of commitment between multiples? But to be honest? That really isn't an area of interest for me.
    I do appologize if my flirtatious nature has some how made you feel as if i were interested in more then some friendly word banter, after years of customer service? it's a hard habit to break. but in the future? i will try to be more respectful with presentation, it really is just friendly word play and nothing more.
    And your wife can keep all the quarters, i promise. i won't toss any.
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About Scot68

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About Scot68
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Newbie switch
Married and committed to spouse
BDSM Interests:
Light impact play,
Raising endorphins
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Interested in talk on the forums
Not a "lifestyle"
Suburbs of a major city


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