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  • Phenyx's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    As a masochist that relies on pain to keep her grounded and she is very curious and would like to ask a couple questions please. Does one have to be a Sadist to understand pain? Does one have to be a Sadist to understand a masochist's need for pain especially in times where that need becomes overwhelming? Can a Dominant that is not a Sadist handle the levels of pain that a masochist may need at times? And if not? what is the appropriate steps needed to seek out help to take care of these needs? Can a Dominant that is not a Sadist recognize the ques that there is a need building for more pain if the submissive does not always speak of this need? As a masochist submissive seeking out a Dominant? Would you advise her to seek out specifically a Sadist Dominant due to the levels of pain she may need at times? If not? what questions would you suggest she ask a Dominant that is not a Sadist to ensure that there is no misunderstandings of future needs that may or may not complicate the relationship?
    1 replies | 12 view(s)
  • Phenyx's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    As a very curious, somewhat playful, with a little teenie tiny hint of brat, newbie submissive I have found it a bit challenging, in an interesting sort of way, to gain the attention of a Dominant even if that attention is simply to make them smile. :) I like smiles :) and i will admit that i will act out just to gain that smile or that half hidden smile known as 'The Smirk' :) Gotta love a good smirk :) So i am very curious to hear what others have done to 'gain the attention of a Dominant and/or your Sir/Master/Mistress in a playful respectful way? I'm not talking in a way that makes Them angry or frustrated but maybe in a way to make them smile or take notice that you are there? Any and all suggestions that are made of respectful fun natured ways are welcome. I look forward to hearing from anyone willing to share.
    1 replies | 23 view(s)
  • Phenyx's Avatar
    1 Day Ago
    So I've been walking this path for a few months now, discovering and reading, making friends along the way and meeting lots of new people *smiles* and through many different conversations and lots of questions asked i have discovered a few different things. One of these things being that the attitudes of newer members to this world not having all the right information or being too full of themselves to want to put their minds to the task of actually learning what they need to learn to maintain that safe, sane, and consentual side of a relationship. And no, i am not grouping or saying that all newer Dominants are this way, i happen to know a few newbie Dominants that are in fact taking the time to learn as much as they can before jumping into a relationship. *smiles* Another thing is that us newbies? we don't really know what the heck we are doing so coming up against one of these confident Dominants, or as other's like to refer to them as Dumbinants, often more times then not? Us Newbies will fall into having faith in this person without realizing what is going on is actually 'Not' how things are suppose to be. And no, I am absolutely not claiming that all newbies are fools nor that they cannot see the hidden red flags that may from time to time show themselves or that as a newbie we will not see something wrong and walk away. It's just that from my experiences so far, and from a few of the others i have spoken too? that confidence can be very deceiving in a hope to learn kind of way. Another thing that i have learned is this brick wall affliction of being the all knowing with nothing left to learn is not something that just affects the newbie members and can infact affect older members too. Now that is an interesting thought, isn't it. but that is the way of life, we are all human and none of us are perfect *smiles* So, i seen this question asked and am curious as to what others would answer so I'm going to ask it here *smiles* Please first take into consideration that this question is not directed at your Dom, Domme, and/or Master directly but more of an by your experience kind of way. Also, please do not use this as a way to Dominant bash anyone specifically. Also, it is my hope that should one of these newer Dominants read the answers then perhaps it will give them some incentive to step back and learn ways to avoid the things that piss off the submissives *smiles* so for my question: What pisses you off about Dominants you meet online?
    1 replies | 16 view(s)
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3 Visitor Messages

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    Yes, I asked a very bad question yesterday. I am still here so far, unsure of what will come next
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    Thanks, i was a little worried about the impression i was sending. I understand the worry about oversharing and obsession. it's easy to make connections here talking back and forth, or at least feeling like you have them. For me? there is no friend so this is all I have, this forumn and those willing to put up with my nuttiness and even a little getting carried away. I really haven't been a member all that long but in the short time that i have? I really have gotten some great advice, feed back and even made friends. but not really having anyone else? i can see where worry over over-connecting would be a concern. Sort of like getting that first real deep breath and releasing it in relief because FINALLY you have someone that will speak without judgment or make you feel like you are an outcast because you like what you like and Hey? They actually know something.
    So ya, i get what your saying. It's been extremely rattling and unnerving for me to take the first step here but i'm really glad i did. i may still be all balled up and crazy with emotions but a few of the bigger concerns are at least starting to chip away at that nasty iceberg size emotional clusterfuck. Trust is really hard sometimes when you are still questioning yourself, that part really sucks.
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    I'm glad you have enjoyed the questions as i enjoyed hearing your answers.
    Your wife is a very lucky woman, too many people in todays world don't take commitment seriously anymore, it's actually kind of sad to see just how many people out there take for granted something as sacred as marriage. And I'm not judging multiple partners for those that prefer that kind of relationship nor denying the level of commitment between multiples? But to be honest? That really isn't an area of interest for me.
    I do appologize if my flirtatious nature has some how made you feel as if i were interested in more then some friendly word banter, after years of customer service? it's a hard habit to break. but in the future? i will try to be more respectful with presentation, it really is just friendly word play and nothing more.
    And your wife can keep all the quarters, i promise. i won't toss any.
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About Scot68

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About Scot68
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Newbie switch
Married and committed to spouse
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Light impact play,
Raising endorphins
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Interested in talk on the forums
Not a "lifestyle"
Suburbs of a major city


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