How to encourage his dominance to match my natural submission

I'm in a happy relationship that has toyed on the outskirts of BDSM for years. In fact, the first time we had sex was with my hands tied to the headboard, this was in fact the first time I had ever cum during sex. Most of our sex is vanilla with a bit of light spanking during certain positions. We have pushed it occasionally with tighter bondage and some dominance (mostly simple orders that do not persist long). I recently asked him if we could amp up this part of our relationship and it resulted in a wonderful night where he had me wear naughty things under my cloths and teased me while i made dinner, then pushed me to my knees in the kitchen, told me to suck his dick, took me to the bedroom, tied my hands behind my back, played with me with a vibrator while spanking me, fucked my face with the vibrator in me, told me to take it all and when I couldn't, threw me on the bed and fucked me hard. It was wonderful. I loved every minute. I asked him to talk about it a bit after to see what he liked, he said he liked the teasing and lead up most. I said I liked it all and I did. However I told him that I really would have loved some real rules (he had not given me any) and orders (he mostly just pushed me around) as well as dirty talk. He said he would try but did not seem in to it. I also could have taken more-harder pulling on my hair while I sucked him, deeper spanking, rules, dirty talk, using me, a longer period of time following the rules, more difficult positions, more bringing me to the edge of cumming only to pull me back and make me wait. All of it. He is such a strong and masculine man and I can tell he like dominating me but he seems hesitant to do so. I want it so bad, I need it, I can feel with just a bit more stronger hand that I could really let loose of the control that I usually have (I am strung so tight most of the time and I need to give control over to feel free).

How to I encourage him to take more control and push me without "topping from the bottom" or nagging or what have you? Why is he holding back?

OMG, never mind-his dominance has come out en force. Just had the hardest orgasm of my life!

You *go* girl! *grins* I hope it is the first of many to come.

I think we sometimes under estimate the social pressure men needs to overcome to be able to comfortably 'use' his partner.
Everything around them dictates how a woman should be pampered, handled with care etc etc, and to make that mental shift of actually a huge step for us... So....patience and perserverance would be my advice.

I have to agree with

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patience and perserverance

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not all Dom/Masters are the same. I'm Married to mine and he wasn't a Master when we first met although he was very much Dom he just didn't see it in himself. It takes time. He was worried he would hurt me at first I simply told him I'm not made of glass nor pot I won't break and if it hurt I'd say so. I think when ever a sub meets a Dom/Master it's learning again on both sides.

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OMG, never mind-his dominance has come out en force. Just had the hardest orgasm of my life!

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You go girl! think things are going well for you *lol*

(see below - system-generated duplicate post)

People repeat those actions for which they are rewarded.

Doms are people.

Combining two naked bodies, your tongue, his leather belt and the two insights above with a burning (at times, it will feel almost literally so) desire to evince dominant behavior might substantially advance the relationship.

S.

I agree. This mental shift is like a cultural shift. AS a sweet, soft spoken man myself, it has been difficult to be domineering. It has been a challenge to both of us because the brat in her submissiveness does not trigger my dominance. It triggers my dismissal. So, her way of saying that she needs dominance (being a brat) actually causes my dominance to dismiss her. If she is dismissed, she is more bratty, more dismissing, until it is no longer dominance but aggrivation.

Another aspect that I have had to overcome is the fear of loosing her. The natural cultural mindset is that if a man disrespects a woman or acts domineering towards her then she should leave. Now, I am being told that this is what keeps her! AHHH~ See the frustration.

I have had to develop some simple tangible things for me to be dominate on. I trained my sub on how to take a spanking. How she is t react when I am done and not be a brat. Like anything, it starts out small and relationally.
What concerns me about BDSM porn, llike kink.com, is that that is just he surface of BDSM and the pinnacle so to speak. But the reality is so much more and requires so much more skill.

I agree. This mental shift is like a cultural shift. AS a sweet, soft spoken man myself, it has been difficult to be domineering. It has been a challenge to both of us because the brat in her submissiveness does not trigger my dominance. It triggers my dismissal. So, her way of saying that she needs dominance (being a brat) actually causes my dominance to dismiss her. If she is dismissed, she is more bratty, more dismissing, until it is no longer dominance but aggrivation.

Another aspect that I have had to overcome is the fear of loosing her. The natural cultural mindset is that if a man disrespects a woman or acts domineering towards her then she should leave. Now, I am being told that this is what keeps her! AHHH~ See the frustration.

I have had to develop some simple tangible things for me to be dominate on. I trained my sub on how to take a spanking. How she is t react when I am done and not be a brat. Like anything, it starts out small and relationally.
What concerns me about BDSM porn, llike kink.com, is that that is just he surface of BDSM and the pinnacle so to speak. But the reality is so much more and requires so much more skill.