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i'v been looking for hours for a safe meeting guide lines
i know i read a good one some where here but can not find it now as i wont it for me and i have a mate and she is thinking about meeting some one and as it would be a bdsm meet and i think some of the guide lines for meets are not the same as just dating sites guides lines i just wont my mate to be safe as much as she can as she is not in the uk i can not go with her i hope one of you nice people can help me thank you
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...hlight=meeting
it doesnt start out as a post for setting up a safe call etc but it moves toward it. I think there is another thread...... But this will be a start.
Here is the link to an article on that specific subject in what I refer to as my bdsm bible: http://www.seekers.org.uk/Meeting%20...eal%20Life.htm
There are many other articles on that site that I would highly recommend.
thank you i will get her to read it i think it should help her and show i'm not going over the top with this
Always get back ground info and meet online first. when and if you meet public you drive to a spot 5 blocks frome the PUBLOC PLACE YOU YOU HAVE PREARRANGED TO MEET. HAVE DINNER, GET TO KNOW HIM AND TAKE A CAB TO YOUR CAR ALONE AND MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT FOLLOWED. NEVER GIVE OUT INFO LIKE TELEPHONE, ADDRESS, REAL MAME ETC. YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET A BASIC FEELING FOR THE GUY ON THE DATE. Date a few more time and negotiate exactly what the boundaries are in the relationship. you should both get criminal checks done by the police, and each should have proper if including You go to a photo shop and have a picture takend of you and he does the same. You include a trusted name for contact and he does tha same. This way the police have a picture and hopefully a fingerprint to work with. I know this all sounds cloak and dagger, but today's world has changed radically. YOU need to ensure you safety in the beginning
thank you this all help and yes safety at the beginning is that best way to start
Aren't there confidentiality issues involved with obtaining CRB reports on your "date" directly from the police?
I have since these posts were written met people from OL in RL. I followed most of these guidelines...
I am not very experienced, I guess... But I didnt feel the need to involve the police. But then again, these people were so well-known in both the local vanilla and local kinky commnities, that i never really doubted i was safe.
Despite knowing it I had safe calls...got references and all of it.
I didnt get anything from the police...personally I didnt feel the need to.
My safecall knew everything I knew about the peole I was meeting.
If I was meeting someone *not* well-known in the community, perhaps I would have done that then.
Regarding confidentiality, remember the significance of meeting someone to set up a meeting in which you will be tied down, gagged, spanked, flogged and generally hurt... I would be concerned if the person I am discussing doing this to me with had confidentiality concerns...
What I was saying isn't a matter of whether that person is willing to share their background with you, it's a matter of (and I may be mistaken) only being able to obtain a CRB report on someone if you're their employer, social worker, doctor etc...
I comment on the DBS (CRB) only and from the UK. I don’t know the process that is involved in other parts of the world.
The UK Criminal Records Bureau (CRB) and the Independent Safeguarding Authority (ISA) have merged into the Disclosure and Barring Service (DBS). CRB checks are now called DBS. However, you can’t do a criminal records check on yourself, nor on someone else.
When the DBS is run you provide certain documentation usually to an employer, to work within a ‘vulnerable client group’ this is then verified by person who is authorised, a little like signing a passport.
But If you need to run a check on yourself, you can get a ‘basic disclosure’ with details of any unspent convictions from disclosure in Scotland. http://www.disclosurescotland.co.uk/apply-online/
However, there are many ‘on line’ security services that can run basic checks, like known sex offences or violence charges but this is at a cost though.
Regards Sett
In the US doing a criminal or sexual/criminal background check requires the permission of the person on whom the check is to be made. There are disclosure requirements and other legal issues that go with it as well.
I thought that at one time there was a group or thread on these forums that provided a safe call service. It was all voluntary but at least it was something.
Perhaps there is a business opportunity to provide BDSM related background checks. HMMMMMMM.....
VERY IMPORTANT - Dont forget to reroute the fuel lines - I just changed to dual exaust and harvested fuel lines from a 1990 so they will not get to close to the exhaust pipes.