I am a slave. Not a Domme in denial

Hello E/everyone,
I am a slave, not a Domme in denial. I have always thought that my servitude is towards the Sir in my life. My Service is private between me and him. Not towards everyone on this site. I have tried to show respect to those who have earned my respect.
For a brief period when i first joined this site, I did dominate a few people. Because they were my friends, people i cared about. I saw their need, and as a submissive act i dominated them.
I was not aroused or stimulated by their submission. It was completely a service to them.
I have put that behind me, 3 years ago. I decided that I wished to focus my energies on being the best submissive/slave i could be since being a switch left me unfulfilled and unhappy.
When i made this decision, i figured they would be a few comments from people who have known me. To this day, i still receive comments such as you are domme in denial. or you should accept your true nature or you would be a wonderful Domme, why don’t you try it.
I have always thought that the Fetish Community was built on acceptance of all kinks, that whatever makes your personal heart, body and mind sing is what is acceptable for you.
: I feel that i should not have to enter chat crawling with eyes lowered, begging all to allow me to enter to be viewed as a slave.
I have dealt with this with a little smile for 3 years. I have declared what i am with a soft voice. I do not think i should have to accept this as part of this community. So please I ask my fellow submissives, please honor my service and accept me as i am.

Well ya have a clean slate with me....and around here that matters alot....ok a little....well really no body cares what I think

As with me. It's foolish of those who doubt you to assume one "knows" what they are from the very outset.

And even that statement doesn't presume you won't feel differently in the future. Life is about growth and discovery.

High fives kisa!

I happen to be a slave in real life myself, but you dont see me bowing and scrapping in chat to anyone I dont see as more dominant than I am do you? (unless Im playing a game of pretend with them for some reason at least)

There is nothing wrong whatsoever in a submissive or slave topping someone else for pleasure, or to teach, as a learning experience, a service, or because one was ordered too etc or just becuase one felt like it.

We all sit on different levels in relationship to each other on the ole dominance hierarchy tree and if one is more or less dominant than another individual at any given time its dependent on a combination of many factors.

The people who are trying to tell you otherwise simply don't know what they are talking about or are full of online misconceptions about the lifestyle or think the lobby of every chat room is supposed to be a role play orientated experience where one's "character class" reads as Dom, sub, whatever and they get penalized by the story teller if they don't follow some made up cookie cutter alignment restrictions lol or they just have a really sensitive and fragile ego.

One persons dominant may be another's submissive or vice versa, it all depends on the situation and the choices of the individuals in their own dynamic and who they precieve each other to be at the time depending on the situation...which can be a lot more fluid than some think at any given time. Which is all part of phycology and human social interatction...even in the vanilla world. That woman who may be a bitch of a autocratic boss at work may also be someone elses collared slave at home.

Complaints by people who call one a domme in denial or say that your topping from the bottom are just making excuses for their own insecurity conserning their own dominance imho.

Bahahahaha... there are people in chat who demand obeisance from all subs? Man, I need to get into chat. As I've explained in the past, "I submit, but I'm not yours to command." This may or may not have been followed by a rather colorful explanation of just how hard and with what instruments said "dom/me" can use to go f-... er, I mean, I would never use such colorful language. I have a halo to maintain.

I extend respect as I see it doled out, but I am an actual person. I'll be damned if I'm going to hand out my submission willy-nilly, because my submission isn't cheap. If that makes me a domme in disguise, so be it.

Seriously, kisa, the best thing you can do in this situation is to realize how pathetic it is. A real dominant treats people (especially strangers!) like people. They don't need a chatroom to feel fulfilled and/or powerful. Anyone who suggests that you are not what you know yourself to be isn't worth the time it takes to type a contradiction. It's an awesome way to identify people to avoid, though. :je

Thank you Silus, Oz, denuseri, and delish for your replies to my post. I appreciate you taking the time to reply. :)
I am happy that i made this post. I think i needed to say it or it needed to be said lol.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lady kisa

Hello E/everyone,

For a brief period when i first joined this site, I did dominate a few people. Because they were my friends, people i cared about. I saw their need, and as a submissive act i dominated them.

I have put that behind me, 3 years ago. I decided that I wished to focus my energies on being the best submissive/slave i could be since being a switch left me unfulfilled and unhappy.

When i made this decision, i figured they would be a few comments from people who have known me. To this day, i still receive comments such as you are domme in denial. or you should accept your true nature or you would be a wonderful Domme, why don’t you try it.

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Hm. Could this be people who rather selfishly want you to domme them again?

Umm..I think it would be very selfish and more than a little mean for someone to tell you how to behave now in comparison to how you were years ago.

I mean, if you want to behave as you see fit and not be pushy or anything like that I think you've very clever for working out your feelings and explaining clearly to other people. I mean showing respect is important and all that but I would say that in the rooms on the site, if people can't deal with the new you then really the problem is at their end.

Umm, I hope that makes some sense.

Hello kisa,

Hun i think you do not have to worry about what people here have to say,after all they do not know you or refuse to,there so many here that give opinons without beeing asked.You are the only one and your Sir that you need to be concerned with..the rest can go to ....
Hugs tight
your friend
shy

i so very much enjoy this post so much, with my sassy name i face the same challenges at time ~i once even got offered money to switch and dominate him...damm should have accepted it...but Yes my name represent everything about me, im am foxy i am a lady...i am a strong sassy fun loving woman that only bends her knee in submission to the One that owns me....and submission is the core of me, and no matter how much others think i dont *fit* i hold the surrender of submission true in my being..

so thank you Lady kisa for post....and here is my 2cents worth: yes im submissive,inspite of what you think~ and i do it -always with lipstick on-always in heels-always in pretty panties....and i do it fabulously!...

and here is my all-time fav quote- a little inspiration for the day Ladies...

"I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding."
-Anais Nin

i get asked to switch a lot too, foxy (never was offered money--lol)
i loved your post!!!
Thank you,'dave

Love ya, lady kisa.
XXXX
dave

I agree with the intended impression of this thread title (or the impression I got).. There is only one Man I would ever submit to.. All my other desires/fantasies are from the Top's position..