Assignment 3
A scene/chapter/story that includes the following elements:
A disco ball (yes one of those mirrored contraptions that hangs over a dance floor)
A music box, shaped like a banjo, that plays "Oh, Susannah"
A marching band
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Assignment 3
A scene/chapter/story that includes the following elements:
A disco ball (yes one of those mirrored contraptions that hangs over a dance floor)
A music box, shaped like a banjo, that plays "Oh, Susannah"
A marching band
"Do you have a quarter?" asked Ted.
"Just get a can. It's not that much different from the bottle," said Eric.
"Just give me a quarter."
"Kiss my ass."
"No room in those uniform pants to fit any change?" asked Ted. He kicked the machine and opened up his wallet to find a dollar bill.
"I'm going though a growth spurt. You know, balls drop, hair on the face, and break outs?" Eric rubbed the back of his neck. The band uniform was always itchy around his neck.
"It's something you brag about when you're 14, not 17," snickered Ted.
"Better not be expecting a quarter after that."
"I can buy a 2 litter for 99 cents at the quick mart. This is price gouging. Did you know my brother used to get a 20 oz for 75 cents? Totally 19th century prices."
"No matter how many times you say it, '19th century', is not going to catch on," said Eric. He reached behind and adjusted his pants to keep his boxers from riding up. "Just get something so we won't be late."
"I'm a trend setter. Everyone loves it." Ted fed the dollar into the machine and pushed the coke button. He groaned as it gave him his earlier change in nickels. "Being in a marching band for 6 years doesn't really give you the social skills a normal high schooler will get. Nickels again?"
Ted hefted the change in his hand before pocketing it. "I just gave it quarters. I know it has quarters. Who stocks it with nickels?"
"Anyone ever tell you that you bitch too much?" Eric slapped Ted on his back. Ted looked puzzled.
"No. Why?"
Eric laughed as both the boys trailed down the hall and though the gym doors. Once the doors were closed the wall behind the machine rumbled with the sounds of metal groaning.
"This is still a bad idea," said Aaron. The grating covering the AC popped open and he slowly got out from the cramp space.
"Ok, I'll admit that I thought spending 30 minutes in an air duct would be cooler. I also thought that we could fallow it to the gym. I didn't know it was only that big at the start to allow maintenance. So if you're looking for a 'you were right' then," Kelly took a deep breath, "You were right."
"Do you still want to steal the ball?"
"It will be the best senior prank this year." Kelly closed her eyes and rubbed her hands together just thinking of the surprise in store for the school.
"It will be the only senior prank of the year. It's home coming."
"You act like I'm not paying you. Keep your end of the bargain and I'll fallow through with mine," said Kelly. She took a step closer to Aaron and put her hand on his strong chest. She leaned into him and whispered into his ear. "We've been 'just friends' sense the first grade. You'd probably kill to get a chance at me, and all I am asking is for you to help me play a little joke. Are you going to back out, Tiger?"
Aaron's hand rested on her waist. "Ok," he had to take a step back to take a breath. "Ok. How do we get to the ball?"
"It's already suspended at the top of the gymnasium. We can't get to it from the air vents. I guess we will have to just lower it down and untie it," said Kelly.
She opened the door to the gym just a crack. She peered though.
"What is it?" asked Aaron.
"The gym is full. I guess the band sets up in the gym before marching out," sighed Kelly.
"There's a separate entrance though the cafeteria."
"Really?"
"No, but there is one that is hidden by bleachers when they pull them out. Me and the guys used to always use it to sneak out of pep rallies," said Aaron. He grabbed her hand and led her down the hall.
Ashley closed the door behind her as quietly as she could but found it didn't matter. The marching band was making so much noise with idle chatter that she could have slammed it and no one would have noticed. When she turned away from the door Aaron was standing so close she bumped into him. His hands went to hers and he pinned her hands above her head.
He had to speak into her ear to be heard. "We have to wait for the band to leave before we take the ball. I think I should get some of my payment in advance."
Kelly struggled against his strong hands, but was unable to break free of his grip. Aaron's eyes crawled over her body. He focused on the cleavage of her C cup breasts. The shirt did little to hide her skin with it's low cut design. He had already spent 30 minutes in the vents staring at her perfect teen ass though the slotted lights the vents provided, but even with out a closer inspection he had years of memories to draw on. She had been the first girl he imagined when he touched himself, and the first one to tease him in a bathing suit. She had been a life long tease. Now his hot breath rolled against her skin and down her neck as he tasted her flesh for the first time.
She took a sharp breath at the touch of his lips. Her skin warmed to his touch and hear heart instantly started beating faster. She closed her eyes for an instant and her knees weakened. They snapped open the instant she felt him put a hand on her breast. She pulled a little more and only felt one of his hands holding hers now. She wanted to struggle but she didn't want to be caught either. Her heart raced and she was afraid he'd find out she wanted it just as much as he did.
Aaron squeezed Kelly's breast a bit to roughly and felt her arch under him. He squeezed more gently and could feel the rapid beating in her chest even though most of his attention was on the growing bump against his hand where her nipple must be hardening. It felt better than he'd ever imagined. He had dated girls before but something about his friend's body made it special. It felt right. It wasn't all hormones and at the same time he could almost feel her pushing into his touch. His hand drew down her breast and along her flat stomach before sliding up under both her shirts.
Kelly caught herself pressing into his hand and was able to restrain her leg that had started to lift and wanted to wrap it's self around his own. Her entire body felt on fire and for the first time she understood what that meant. Her nerves tingled as each new touch opened up worlds of pleasure in her mind. When his hand let go of hers she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her for a kiss. It deepened each moment that passed. The burning in her lungs finally surpassed the burning her skin felt and she pulled back to take a breath. She lost it all in a second in a stifled moan.
He was about to kiss her again when he heard her small moan. His hand had just cupped her breast and he was surprised to find sex was the furthest thing from his mind. He leaned against her, pressing her up against the door, and squeezing her body against his.
"I love you," he said.
"Don't say that." Kelly squeezed her thighs together, wanting so badly for the spreading warmth to go away.
"I want you," Aaron's thumb rubbed over her hardened nipple as he felt her chest rise and fall against his.
"Please, not here," gasps Kelly.
"Yes, here." Aaron pulled her shirts above her breasts. He leaned down and took one of her nipples into his mouth. He bit lightly on the sensitive skin before his tongue flicked out to taste her again and again. She leaned against him and her legs felt moved a little wider so she could keep standing. His warm hand on her thigh sent shivers up her spine and brought a new moan to her lips as it reached it's goal.
"It's too early," she whimpered.
"It's been too long," he moved to her other nipple to give it much needed attention. His hand reached the center of her jeans and could feel the damp heat pulsing though the materials. "No panties?"
"Aaron, I want it to be special, we can't do this here."
"Call for help. We're just feet away from half the school."
Kelly felt trapped. Her body was betraying her. She wanted his touch so badly. Her teeth bit down on her bottom lip and she tried to pull her mind back together. She was ready to put an end to his advances, but instead of pushing him back she was grinding down against his hand. She shook her head gently and reached up with her arms. Her fingers slid though the cracks in the bleachers. She tightened her grip and tilted her head back. Her breathing came faster and harder as she felt his lips descend her body. She closed her eyes and felt his hands undo her pants. She wiggled her hips a little to help him slide the tight jeans off her waist.
The rumbling stopped. Aaron had largely ignored what was going on around him and it only became worse as his entire world became the small folds between his friend's legs. His nose flared with the sent of her wetness. With out any hesitation he pressed his lips against her slit and kissed it gently. Kelly nearly lost her grip on the bleachers as the last of the strength completely left her legs. Aaron put both of his hands between her legs and slowly used his thumbs to spread her open for his tongue. The taste was different from any other he had experienced and yet it was ambrosia.
Kelly's legs tightened around Aaron's head and moaned loudly. The sound echoed under the bleachers and though out the gym. She sighed and her legs loosened a bit. Aaron pulled back and licked his lips.
"Don't stop," whined Kelly.
"But," Aaron was cut off when Kelly crossed her legs behind his back and pulled him back to her sex. He never knew her legs were that strong. He moved his hands to her rear and gave her ass a hard pinch to loosen her grip. "They're gone."
"Wha?" Kelly unlaced her legs and got a grip on solid ground. She felt like she had just dropped from a cloud and crashed back to earth. The gym was empty except for them. Aaron looked out from under the bleachers and turned just in time to watch Kelly squeeze back into her pants.
The ball hung from the ceiling from a stand alone chain. They sighed in unison.
"What now?" asked Aaron. Kelly gave him a wicked grin and she
grabbed his arm before he made a break for the door.
"Wait, I have an idea," she said.
"I know."
Aaron held the ladder on one end as Kelly climbed to the top. When she reached the top rung she still wasn't tall enough to get to the top of the ball. She swayed a little on the ladder and took the last step to the platform at the top. She used the ball for balance and her fingers clawed at the catch that suspended the ball from the chain. She just missed the chain when she lost her balance and fell off the small platform. Aaron panicked and let go of the ladder.
"Stop!" yelled Aaron. It didn't make any sense and for years latter he wondered why that was the last thing he would say before almost loosing the love of his life. He couldn't stop time, her fall, or even the laws of gravity. What he was able to do was soften her impact. He held out both arms and caught her but the force of the fall was still enough to bring them both crashing down. Aaron felt the wind get knocked out of him and the weight of Kelly lift off of him an instant later.
Kelly got to her feet with out thinking. She looked up at the swinging Disco ball that she had tried to grab when she fell and saw it break loose of the clasp. She moved to the side to catch it. The ball bounced off the ladder and rolled off in a different direction. Kelly fallowed it's fall with her eyes and cringed as it landed right on Aaron's stomach.
"I'm sorry, Aaron. Are you ok?" She placed a hand on his arm and another on top of the ball. She rolled it off of him and rested it on the ground.
"It felt like a piece of the 80's just broke part of my rib cage," said Aaron as he rolled onto his side. He was getting up on his hands and knees when Kelly returned from putting the ladder away.
"We have to go. I could hear the band from the other side of the storage room. Hurry!"
"It's not exactly what I imagined it to be when you first described it." The man took his glasses off and rolled the ball behind his desk. "This wouldn't have anything to do with that story I saw in the paper."
Kelly did her best to lean forward and show off her cleavage. "I wouldn't know anything about that. Do you have the goods?" The owner of the pawn shop slipped his glasses back on to his nose and his gaze lingered on the teen's breasts. He swallowed slowly and reached under the counter.
"Here."
"What is this?"
"Isn't this what you wanted?" asked the owner.
"No, I wanted a gold fiddle music box that played the Johnny Cash song. This one," she opened up the banjo and cringed, "plays 'Oh, Susanna'. Do you even know what a fiddle looks like?"
"It's some kinda country music thing right?"
"It looks like a violin," Kelly sighed and looked back out the door behind her. Aaron was coming out of the connivance store with a bag in hand. Their eyes met and he shook the bag for effect. Kelly turned back to the man behind the desk. "I'll take it. Just wrap it up quick."
The door's bell jingled with the sound of Aaron opening it to knock against an old Christmas bell.
"What took you so long?" asked Kelly.
"It's embarrassing buying that many," Aaron's eyes looked over at the pawn shop owner then back to Kelly, "you know." Kelly laughed and rested a hand against his chest.
"Here, I got this for you." She handed him a box and took the bag out of his hand.
"What is it?"
"Something for my mom. She loves this crap." Kelly looked though the bag and then back to Aaron. She mouthed the name brand of a gun and he returned a sheepish grin.
"I like music boxes too."
"I got a box for you big boy," said Kelly. She gave Aaron a slap on the ass.
i have seen this and will get on it before the day is gone. Every time i tried to get on this weekend i couldn't. Thank you for your patience.
rose
Nice use of the elements and you drew a rough trio. (i actually have a large jar of elements that i pick out of at random, i really don't hate you.) Only one formatting issue; when you switch point of view from Ted and Eric to Aaron and Kelly (or settings like from the gym to where they get the music box), give some visual clue like a centered row of stars or dashes like this.
* * * * *This makes the transition less jarring to the reader.
From a continuity stand point there was one place that you called Kelly Ashley., But that is a minor thing.
A wonderful effort and some smoking foreplay scenes.
Now, on to the ceremonial picking of the nits.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HGZero
Thank you for the critique. I am such a goof ball with names. I wrote the story in two parts and the first draft had me switching Aaron's name with Eric's after a few paragraphs.
It did take a while for me to think of a good story with all the prompts you gave me. I wanted the switch to be seamless, like a camera fallowing the 2 marchers from the machine to the door then back to the machine. If I had introduced the element earlier it might have worked better.
The dictionary has been helping with looking up words I'm unsure of but it seems I could probably benefit from just using the spell check to show me misspelled words.
It's kind of funny about the dialogue between the band guys. I had given that phrase some thought after I first wrote it and thought about adding emphasis on the word 'not' so it would be clearer he was trying to make a point to his friend but I left it because I wanted to move on to Kelly and Eric.
Thank you again for your help. I'm pretty sure you don't hate me, despite all evidence to the contrary, but where did you get the idea for that kind of music box?
a friend(?) gave me that kind of music box for my last birthday. Needless to say it si not the centerpiece of my collection.