Tied and Used Ch. 2

I heard the TV go on, and then heard you in the kitchen. I had no idea what you were doing, but I assumed you were making something to eat. I tried to relax the best I could. My mind was racing with thoughts of what just happened and my arms were getting tired from being in the same position for so long. I closed my eyes to help relax but I started to drift off. As soon as I felt myself falling asleep I opened my eyes. I wondered how long you were going to be and if you would be displeased if I fell asleep.
However, as all I saw was black with or without my eyes closed, I let the blackness wash over me and fell asleep. I didn't dream at all, but slept peacefully.
I don't know how long I was asleep but I awoke to the sounds of the restraints coming undone. I smiled weakly as I didn't know if you were done with me yet. You removed both without saying a word, but as soon as they were done you spoke curtly. I rolled over on my stomach like you had ordered and immediately you restrained me again this time restraining my legs as well. You pulled my head up by my hair and I could feel you throw something onto the bed where my head would lay. I assumed it was an extra pillow or something of the like.
You then pushed my head down into the pillows and told me if I had to cry out I was to push my face into them. Then there was silence- but only for a minute. Without warning your hand came down hard on my ass. It was then I heard it. I dreaded it and wished for it all at the same time. After a couple of smacks from your hand you used it. Your belt. The thick leather strap hitting my bare skin hard fast. I pushed my head into the pillows and cried out you whipped me hard fast and continuously. I was gasping, moaning, and screaming out with each blow.
I heard you talking as you continued to whip me. You told me how red my pretty little ass was getting and how excited it was making you. With a hard blow you stopped and started to rub my ass. I jumped as your hands touched my warm flesh. As you rubbed you worked a finger in between my cheeks and began to rub my opening. I moaned and pushed back trying to get you to finger me. You removed your hand immediately and began to whip me again. This time you didn’t just whip my ass. I cried out and tears started to well in my eyes as you got my upper thighs and lower back as well as my ass with your belt. I was almost to the point of crying when you stopped.
I heard you toss the belt on to the bed bedside me and then you were on top of me. Your finger went into my ass, and I pushed back against it, wanting it deeper harder faster. I whimpered as you removed it after only a few strokes, until I felt what was coming next. You rubbed your hard cock against my hole and then thrust into me. I cried out half in pain half in pleasure. You groaned out words like slut and whore and as I pushed back against You, Daddy's little cunt likes it in the ass huh?
I only replied by pushing against you harder causing you to go deeper into me. I moaned loudly as you fucked me hard fast and deep. With one last thrust you pulled out, and got off of me. I whimpered again in protest but dared not to actually say anything. You grabbed the belt again and began to whip me again. Harder this time, I was sure I wouldn't be able to sit comfortably for a few days. I was crying now hoping when you stopped this time it would be for good and that you wouldn’t fuck me as my skin was so sore. Tears were streaming down my face as I took each blow. So tempting it was to say the one word that would stop it all.
There was no need to even give it a second thought however, as you stopped soon after. I cringed as you climbed on top of me again, thrusting right into me. I continued to cry because with each thrust you rubbed against my sore skin. Harder and faster you fucked me. I cried and moaned all at the same time. You pulled my head up by my hair again and put your arm around my throat squeezing tight. I gasped for breath as you continued to fuck me harder and faster.
You whispered into my ear that you were going to fill me with Your cum. I moaned as best I could as your arm was still around my neck. I managed to choke out enough words to beg you to cum in me. O god Sir, yes fill my ass with Your cum.
With that you let out a loud groan and thrusted into me hard as you filled me with your seed. You pulled out when all you had was in me. You got off me and stood by the bed where my head was. You again grabbed my hair and turned my face to you and stuck your dick in my mouth.
Suck it. You said. Suck my cock after it's been in your ass, you dirty whore.
You pushed my head down on Your shaft until You felt my nose pressed against You skin an I swirled my tongue around You softening cock until You pulled my head off of You and let go of my hair which caused my head to fall back onto the pillows underneath.
As you undid the restraints you told me I was to clean myself up and take a shower. With my arms free you moved to the legs but not before using your hand to give me a couple of hard whacks on my now very sore ass.
I stood up once I was freed, kissed your bare chest, and then went into the bathroom. However, as I started the shower you popped your head in and told me that you were not done with me just yet.

Hi goodgirl_85,
I always start out telling people I have no credentials to criticism anyone since I have all of 6 English courses to my credit. I only comment from a "Like, Don't Like" perspective. You've been warned!
I don't usually like a first person singular stories, but I think you successfully pulled this one off by pacing the action sequences well. The action was interesting in it's variety, and logical in it's progression, and I got carried away by it to the point I thought the first person singular was the only way to describe it.
Net result: I still have trouble with the first person...but I was glad I read it because the action was done so well
TG

Hi, goodgirl. Like Thomas, the first person seems presumptuous to me, like someone is telling me who I am, what I like, what I do. That said, the second chapter is much better presented -and proof read - than the first. The phrase "harder and faster" is a bit over used, again, proof reading out loud helps reveal those. Reading it out loud can also help smooth out transitions. Just be careful of your audience!

What if I changed the "You" to Hes?

Another suggestion is that you use a lot of "passive" voice in your story. Use actions verbs to move the story along. Your wrote: You removed both without saying a word, but as soon as they were done you spoke curtly. I rolled over on my stomach like you had ordered and immediately you restrained me again this time restraining my legs as well." Instead of the girl saying she rolled over like he ordered, have him say it in the story. This is why first person stories don't work well; it is difficult to get everyone heard!

You also have a lot of typos that need to be cleaned up as well.

I can't offer any great criticism, except that I liked it, a LOT! And unlike apparently everyone else, I honestly liked the point of view you used. It really put me there, made me be able to really envision what was going on. But maybe I'm weird.

I enjoyed the first person prespective. i've got to find chp 1. didn't read that yet.