Security Warning might be getting caught
Duetta,
first of all, many people who use Internet Explorer tend to be quick-switchers, leaping between open windows. You can't do that when loading a Java chat window.
Click on it in an open window and wait. The entry page somes up first. When you click open, there'll be a brief wait while the Security Warning comes up. When it comes, select "yes" and then you can dance between windows all you want.
If you switch before then, the Security Warning might get stuck somewhere.
Re: New Sub needs guidance
Hi soozee,
For some reason i've only just seen this thread....i really should try opening my eyes when i browse the forums. *g*
Firstly, when you say 'i have a partner, 3 children and a good job, so why do i feel the need?' (paraphrased) - i don't think an interest in BDSM, or, more specifically the desire to be submissive is something people feel or do only because they have nothing better to do or are disatisfied with other areas of their lives...that's like saying 'i have a good job, partner, friends etc etc....so why do i feel the need to eat chocolate?'.
*looks momentarily lost in chocolate reverie* yuuuum!
*focus lucy, focus* - um, anyway, i think this view originates in the misconception that BDSM related activities are merely little games to 'spice up' your sex life (not yours specifically, people's, generally), particularly relevant in light of you stating that you have a good sex life.
As for wanting to be submissive, i think you put it pretty well yourself, when you say:
Quote:
Originally posted by soozee
Someone said to me that once you admitted it to yourself it never went away, and thats how it feels.
...the desire to be dominated DOES get into your blood, once you've faced up to it (for want of a much better term).
In terms of where you should go from here, i'm unclear as to whether you want to pursue a D/s relationship with your partner or get involved in an o/l relationship, or what the nature of your relationship was/is with those on-line Doms (i.e. whether you wanted to get into something with them or were just talking to/taking advice from them). If you have a good relationship with your partner and he/she has indicated that he's not adverse to it, then i would suggest that you should perhaps explore this avenue first.
You hint that your respective interest in BDSM may differ somewhat, but is this something you've talked about or just sort of picked up on? i think you should talk to him about it, no disrespect to any of our lovely chaps on here, but i think it is easy to assume an awful lot about what men are thinking/feeling and actually be way off the mark...he also may be concerned that you will be shocked by things he wants to do, so all in all, talking seems the best way to go. You could perhaps combine this with the odd 'suggestion' in bed, (i.e. in the heat of the moment), even if you don't 'do' the suggestion, it kind of puts it on the agenda.
Be sure, however, in the talking, not to imply that you don't enjoy the sex you currently have with him....make it more of a positive conversation than a negative one in that sense...i.e. although you really MUST make it clear how important wanting to be sub is, i think it is important to stress how much this would add to the relationship for you, as opposed to 'because right now, i feel lousy about the whole thing'...if you see what i mean. Oh, and be prepared to compromise slightly, if necessary (after all, it will be something you will end up doing a lot of if you really get into being submissive! :D)
If all this doesn't work out, perhaps you could consider exploring the o/l side of things, or any other avenues....but i wouldn't worry about that right now.
Hope this helps. :)
sl
