Originally Posted by
Razor7826
Here is the new version. Basically, I 'showed' rather than told through dialogue at the beginning, and expanded the ending. The sex paragraphs in the middle are mostly the same with only minor changes.
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Bad End
Ending #7
A Lover Scorned
By Razor7826
Kelly hill drove through the streets of suburban Greengrass Park, bundled in a beige shawl and thick black sunglasses, unusual for the Northern Californian community. She drove quickly along as many side streets as possible, hoping that no one would recognize her car; while it was easy to hide her appearance for these special occasions, obscuring her car was far more difficult, necessitating the precautions. She made sure to avoid every location that her friends, family, or clients lived and worked, making the normally ten minute drive extend to just under forty.
She arrived at her destination and parked behind the three-story apartment complex. She stood up and walked towards the door, pressed the ringer for apartment 318B, and was promptly buzzed in. She gracefully climbed the two flights of stairs and entered the unlocked apartment. The long, shiny black hair of her lover grabbed her attention, as it never failed to do.
Rachel Edwards sat at the kitchen table, one arm draped against the backrest while the other held a glass filled with red wine. “Kelly! You’re later than I thought you would be.”
Kelly smiled at the subtle jab to her usual tardiness. “Sorry, I took side streets the entire way here.”
“You don’t have to hide our relationship, you know. People don’t care anymore.”
“My Christian clients still do. They don’t want a... lesbian to represent them in family court.”
Rachel sighed. “They’ll accept it and come back.” She chugged the rest of the glass.
“Offices in this area aren’t cheap. I’d be out of business before I could recover.”
Rachel stood up and walked towards Kelly. “Yes, they will. You’re a good lawyer.” She looked into Kelly’s green eyes and reached out, pulling down the shawl and revealing her lover’s frizzy red hair. “You’re a magnificent lawyer.” She leaned in and kissed Kelly’s lips. “Let me take the lead today. I want to make you feel good, so you can forget all about work.”
Kelly returned the kiss and followed Rachel as she was lead into her bedroom. She glanced at the door to Rachel’s office, and noted that it was the first time Passive voice! Ruby would whack your pee pee for that!! This entire sequence the observation and dismissal serves as a hint for the reader to reflect back on you can revise it into a sigle sentence and stand it alone as a one sentence paragraph, that way it will 'stand out' she had ever seen it closed without Rachel inside at work. She dismissed the thought as unimportant, however, and entered the master bedroom. There, the foreplay began.
Rachel slowly disrobed Kelly and pushed her onto the bed. Once Kelly was lying on her back, completely still, Rachel began the bindings that they both had grown to love over the last few months, just one of the many fetishes that they shared. She bent each of her limbs at the elbows and ankles, OK I'm getting a little image problem here, it might be my inexperience but for the 'quad look' wouldn't you bend and bind the elbows and knees, ankles aren't that flexible? where Rachel was ready to encase them in layer upon layer of cloth bandages. By the time the bindings were complete, Kelly looked like she had no hands or feet, the bandages giving the impression that she was a quadruple amputee. Rachel could see that Kelly was hot and ready, but instead of pulling the usual ribbed dildo from her nightstand, she pulled out a manila envelope.
“Kelly, before we continue, I have something important to ask you.”
“What do you need, honey?”
Rachel pulled photographs from the envelope and held them in front of her girlfriend’s face. The photographs clearly showed Kelly fucking a man, and she looked like she was having the time of her life. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”
The question caught Kelly completely off guard. She stammered, “I... I can explain... please… it was a one time thing.”
“That’s a lie. I have photos of two separate occasions.” The lie was exposed. Kelly had been seeing Mark, a divorcee that she represented successfully in divorce court.
“I… I love you, Rachel. Mark doesn’t change that.”
“Fuck you, you lying bitch! Whatever the hell you are, you’re not a lesbian, and you’ll fucking pay for leading me on like this.” Rachel was furious, but despite her anger, she cried, the pain of Kelly’s infidelities tearing at her soul. The older woman this is a minor point, but you haven't told us which one is older. Before you use 'older' as an identifier you need to do that. Yes it becomes clear, but you've just made your reader stop reading and try to figure it out.reached into her night stand and pulled out a ball gag, which she quickly fastened around Kelly’s head. Kelly tried to resist, but it was no use, the bindings leaving her completely helpless against a woman that just moments ago she had placed her complete trust in.
With her former girlfriend bound and gagged, Rachel left the room and Kelly’s line of sight. Kelly could hear voices outside, and a few moments later Rachel returned with two unfamiliar, naked, men behind her. “Alex, Zach... do whatever you want with her, I don’t care.” Rachel left the room and the two white men approached the defenseless captive.
Kelly looked at the men with panic as they disrobed They were naked two sentences back.. She knew what fate Rachel had left her to and fought with all of her might. She flailed about wildly and tried to bat off her assailants with her stub limbs, but her attempts proved useless as each of the men grabbed two of her stumps and held her in the air, sandwiching her between their upright bodies. The positioning of her legs gave no defenses as the men shoved their stiff penises into her asshole and pussy. Tears streamed down her cheeks as the men bounced her up and down on their cocks, their tools violating her in completely new ways; never before had she been double penetrated, and the pain of the experience was almost unbearable. She screamed and screamed into the gag as the men raped her repeatedly, but her muffled moans drew no saviors, leaving her to the sadistic and gleeful whims of her rapists.
Later that night, the two men finally tired of the prone, cum covered sex toy. Rachel returned to the room and looked over her former girlfriend, still unsatisfied with the punishment visited upon her. “Get that fucking bitch out of my sight. You guys can keep her.”
Kelly sprang back to life, her eyes bug eyed at what Rachel had just told her friends. She wagged her four stubby limbs in the air, trying to upturn herself so she could crawl away, but she was truly defenseless and immobile. She looked around frantically before turning her eyes to the woman that betrayed her.
Rachel sat on the bed beside Kelly, making sure to sit on an edge not soaked with cum. “Yes, Kelly, you’re going to be out of my hair forever, but hey, you were never serious about us, were you? You insisted on keeping our little relationship a secret, and now I can understand why. It will work to my benefit, however- nobody will ever think of me as suspect.”
Alex turned to Rachel and asked with concern, “You know what we’ll end up doing to her… right?”
Rachel knew exactly what they would do. “Yes, I am aware. Just give me half of whatever you can get for her. I want that bitch to suffer for a long, long time. Oh, and take her car, too.”
“I… I don’t know if you really understand the magnitude of what you’re asking us to do.”
“Yes, I do know what I am asking of you. Just do it, alright? I hate her, and she’s a slut, so I’m absolutely certain she’ll love what’s in store for her.”
Alex stood back, amazed at his friend’s cruelty, but nonetheless complied with her request. He and Zach packed the bound and gagged woman into a duffle bag, zipped it up almost all the way, and carried it down to her van. The duo shoved her clothes inside the bag as well, making sure to grab the car keys from her pants pocket.
Rachel looked down on the parking lot triumphantly as Alex opened the side door of Kelly’s car and threw the duffle bag into the back seat. The lime green Beetle disappeared out of the parking lot, carrying Kelly Hill out of Rachel’s life forever.
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Months went by, and Rachel Edwards' hatred for her unfaithful lover subsided. She realized the gravity of her situation, knowing that somewhere in the world, the ever kind and cheerful Kelly Hill was being used and abused without end by some perverted master.
Finally, after nearly two years of regretting her hasty decision, she called Alex on the phone. “Hey… can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Is there any way for you to track down where Kelly was sold to?
“Rachel…”
“Can you?”
“No, I made that clear. Once we sell her, no questions are asked. You got your eight-hundred dollars. Leave it at that.”
“But…”
“There are no ‘but’s. We brought her to our contacts, they paid us, and we never saw her again. Asking too many questions is the best way to get shot.” He hung up the phone, leaving Rachel to accept the consequences of her actions. She dropped the phone to the floor, collapsed to her knees, and cried.
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Unknown to Rachel, her former lover was experiencing those consequences not far away. Ten miles across town, in the basement beneath an old family manor, slept Kelly Hill. Her arms were still bound like that day two years ago, but rather than with bandages, they were fitted with durable leather sleeves. Her owner bought her for her beauty, but he quickly became infatuated with the same style of erotic bindings that Kelly herself had taken a liking to, and fitted his new slave with more permanent equipment.
Kelly Hill awoke to the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. It was time for another round. Knowing and accepting the abuse that would be visited upon her by her owner and his friends, she could do nothing but think back to the day her life ended with the betrayal Fresh tears sprang from her eyes when she thought how none of this- not the rape, not the slavery, not torture- would have happened if she had only been a faithful lover.
Copyright Razor7826, 2008
