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ok iam just off to bed i got to get up early for a gig tomorrow, so i will leave this thread out here and add my storys tomorrow.
have you ever turned a vanilla lover into a dom or a sub, how did you do it did you try and it go wrong ,or are you a master at it lets hear your storys
I guess it depends on your definition. I'm not certain it is possible to "turn" someone with no interest. However, I did take a sweet young marine who thought he knew a thing or two, and showed him a thing or two about himself.
At the end of a year he was a very happy sub. We have since parted ways, but the last I knew he was still enjoying the fruits of his expanded sexuality. Does this count?
My wife is far from a textbook sub or Domme, & wouldn't know what D/s stands for, but is now very interested in ropes, collars & kinky toys.
Unfortunately she leans toward the Domme role, which doesn't suit me & is now suffering from poor health.
We've had some fun over the years though :)
Okay I'll try to give this a whirl.
I have had a b/f for 20 or so years, and we have been in my own opinion living as a D/s couple, minus the kinky sex.
I have always been into bondage and rough sex, but could never find anyone who would try it with me. When I met my b/f I had assumed that I was just an abnormal girl with abnormal thoughts. Kinky sex was just something that was a fantasy.
As for the D/s part, we weren't aware of it, but I ended up staying with him due to the simple fact that he had that way with me, and I was happy doing anything and everything for him. We natuarally clicked.
Eventually as life happens, we started to click apart a little at a time.
Something was definately missing in my life and I found it while using the internet. I found out that I was normal and I had a better understanding about our relationship.
I have discussed things with him and explained myself, trying to make him understand how I feel and what I want. He has made it clear to me that he does not nor will he ever have an interest in what I like.
He at first thought I was maybe going through a phase, he knows now that I am not. As of now we are both at an impasse.
I have never tried to change him, nor will I. It is not possible. He has no interest in BDSM activities, and even if he tried, I know that he would only be doing it to appease me. We would both be uncomfortable in that regard.
As to the D/s relationship, that is slowly coming back a little at a time, but it will never be the same as it used to. As long as I don't label our relationship, I can still have some degree of D/s to it. However the kinky sex will never happen.
So you can maybe change a vanilla person who does like a bit of kinky sex and enjoys submitting or dominating, but I don't think it is possible in a person, who has no interest in changing into what they think is not normal in the first place.
I have to agree with Cadence here. People can never change into something they are not naturally. Perhaps when we talk about "turning a vanilla" what we are really doing is simply drawing out the Dom or sub that is buried inside of this person. These forums are littered with folks that talk about having feelings and notions that they were either Dom or sub, but not knowing how to express these feelings or being unnerved and embarrassed by them.Quote:
Originally Posted by cadence
In my case, I knew I had sub leanings but was never fully comfortable being submissive to a partner. As a result, I usually ended up topping in the relationship - I was less vulnerable to the unknowns of my personality that way. Still, there was the desire to be dominated. When I met J-Go I knew very early on that he would be a partner I would give myself to. He, however, had even less r/l experience with BDSM than I did. I hinted at my fantasies, and opened the doors to him asking questions of me and so on. We started with light bondage, then stepped it up little by little, always communicating and talking after each scene to let each other know what worked and what we wanted more of. We've been together now for a year, and my how far we've come... ;) The only thing left vanilla in my house is the pint of Haagen Daaz in the freezer door...
ummmmmmm even when i am or was vanilla i was very much a dom so ummmm basically it is jusy what happens
ok i serpose i should have gone a little bit slower on here for people, lol. When i said turniing a vanilla i know that most peoples point of view on here is that you are one or the other, but not all people are born knowing they are a dom or sub and what it all means iam prity sure all of us are like that at one stage in are life. In the age before the net you would not be able to find anything out unless you found someone older with experance ready to teach you, and how would you find that out we all dont go around with a huge sign or tatto on are face that says dom sub.
most people have some sort of bdsm fantasys they just think they are freaks for having it and never tell anyone
what follows is some storys of women i have met
my first sub, was my schools it girl, she had everything she wanted and when i moved to that school she thought she was way to good for me to even be in the same room as her, i mean i was a freak i had long black hair had a black leather jacket and listen to rock, metal and goth muisic, not . wow and here i will show my age new kids on the block, bross and all that pop music .
well the last year of school i became very popular because of a job i got and the money i made, people are such sheep lol maybe thats why jesus called everybody his flock.
so i went from a freaky outcast to little mister popular and wow i could not keep those girls of me with a stick, and one of them was the girl that ran the school, there was nothing she would not do for me now and she seeemd to have no memery of how i was before.
i would have nothing to do with her but she wanted everything to do with me and well revenge ran through my mind a few times.
so one drunken night she came around to my flat and i got revenge, she wanted me and i did not want her, but i told her if she would do some tasks for me i would sleep with her, wow lol i can hear you all judging me now but i will go on
task one: was for her to take of all of her clothes and wak around for me posing
task two: envoled me chainning her ouside to my balcony while she was still naked and leaving her there for 30mins
task three: i let her put her shoes on ,and i had a leather duster/ or rain mac what ever you called it i put on her, and my dogs collar and chain, i took her out and walked her down town to a little park where we took a seat on a park bench
task four: was for her to stand up take the coat off and dance for me naked in the park untill i told her to stop
after we had finshed i drove her home and told her if she still wanted me she could come back tomorrow.
i did not expect her back, but she did come back we dated for three years and she wanted to try everything, she told me before that night with the tasks she had never thought or heard about anything like bdsm or what we had done
oh ya one final point i did not force her to do anything i told her at everystage she could go home safe, and i was the drunk one not her
I guess - as with you D - but a few years earlier - I discovered the joys of BDSM without really knowing what it was - did I turn a vanilla? Myself maybe - I discovered then and there that I liked kink real-time, not just in my head. But the dominance was always there - and fortunately for me - the girl's submission was always there as well - it answered a need neither of us had recognized - but the need was always there.
Interesting train of thought here, in my case I have met a very passionate young lady in an on line chat room,we have been happy chatting nightly now for going on 3 months now, she had said couple times she was a submissive! Ok, my response was, BTW a little background on myself. I am professional retired military senior NCO of 32 years, the ultimated Dom, really into discipline, she has put me into these sites as a learning tool, our on line relationship is even better now. we will meet sometime, yup she turned me from the "nilla" world to B&D, oh yes, we are a May/December couple, with a high level of trust and honesty now. I would like to thank you all for the learning experience. SeaDog