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My lovely sub and I have both recently expressed an interest in breath play, but I will admit to having little actual knowledge on the subject.
I was wondering if anyone had any advice or knew of any good websites that could help us out.
Thanks in advance
I put together a handout using some sources on the net.
http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dd8hdfz9_17wp5kwrsm
Breath play is the largest cause of death in our life style so learning is a good thing. Don't use rope or belts across her windpipe since the area is very sensitive. I recommend that you use your hand across her mouth fingers pinching her nose and thumb under her chin. This allows you to release instantly and if you misjudge she can probably get free enough to draw a breathe. Oh strangling with hands see above on throat
Done safely breath control can be so freakin' hot. Done incorrectly it can be fatal.
A really interesting way of playing that I just learnt this week is to lock your mouths together, one person's lungs full of air and the other person's empty. You plus each other's noses and you pass the singular breath back and forth until all you're passing is carbon dioxide. As you get going the panicky feeling of breath control sets in, and the breath gets past faster and faster, pulses raise, etc.
It gets to be a little competitive, but is exceedingly safe.
asphyxiation is the main cause of death, although its much rarer than people tend to think and even in those cases its usually when people do self strangulation by hangings etc.
i love breath control and strangulation but other than the rare occasion of using such as a belt Icehawk uses his hands we are very aware of the risks and while he can try to minimise them they are still there and it is dangerous.
i dont want to be a killjoy bc can be extremely erotic especially when done at the time of orgasm and can be one of the biggest power kicks for the Dom/me.
this is quire a helpful site and has quite a few helpful articles and links by people well known in the lifestyle both practical 'how to' advice , medical and safety issues if you're interested
http://public.diversity.org.uk/devia...ath.htm#Safety
Knowledge and practise are the key. My Dom and I have worked from the simple pinching of the nose and him telling me to hold my breath, to full on breath restriction during orgasm (oh... my .... god by the way!)
It was never one of his kinks when we met, but we have developed it together.
Communication, obviously non-verbal is a good tool to use until you find your technique.
Good luck learning, its oh so much fun!
Thank you all very much. All of your posts have been helpful. I think we're going to make an attempt when we get together next week (damn long distance).
She loves the idea of my hand on her throat, but I'm a little nervous about that. I don't want to do her any major damage.
truly it is all in the learning and the first thing you learn is that breath play with hands should never be on her windpipe but at the sides of her neck you squeeze - i have an article on it at home that i will share (i forgot it today, my apologies) - it highlights the safety measures and correct techniques to use *smiles*
*smiles to badlyguidedlittlemis * did you know most women naturally hold their breath when they orgasm, vanilla or otherwise *winks* hehe
gem,
xo
If you're going to do it around the neck, best thing to do is the crook on the inside of the elbow, not directly across the wind pipe. If you look at the link in my previous post it talks about that some.
Mr Wiseman did much research on law enforcement vs martial arts, and why there was a high amount of injuries due to law enforcement over martial arts. What he found was the person who was being choked knew how to relax in martial arts, where in the case of law enforcement, the person doing the choking is exerting so much force, and the 'perp' was fighting back there was a higher amount of injuries.
Also, please be aware that age as well as diabetes has a large influence on the bottoms' safety. Danger goes up in proportion with age.
For those just learning, the method I found that helps the Top read the bottoms panic signal best was using the hand over the mouth method, and the bottom putting a free hand on the forearm of the Top, pulling the Top's hand away from the face when panic comes (it will come, and is natural regardless of the level of trust). Once you are able to learn the non-verbal signals using this method, stepping it up to hand on neck, and arm around neck you will be able to have more self confidence in the relative safety of what you're doing.
that is a great summary of the article i have ID, the speaker at the conference was a martial arts (Judo) Master and expressed the differences between how they choke hold vs. law enforcement, where many deaths occur and strangulation vs suffocation techniquesQuote:
Originally Posted by IDCrewDawg
as well as age and diabetes,anyone with asthma heart problems or a cold shouldnt practice it eirtherhow come we get so noisy then :winks*Quote:
Originally Posted by mastersgem
I've read statements/blogposts/interviews etc. from well known people in the BDSM community suggesting that breath play is simply too dangerous to do, with too many risks. I have to wonder what techniques these people are using, because I have trained for years in submission grappling, and know that all over the world judo players, bjj players, submission grapplers, and mixed martial artists are choking and strangling each other without incident. In a given class at just my school, if you add up each incident in training and drilling you probably have hundreds of strangulations a day. Given the number of people who train in these sports (judo is one of the most popular sports in the world) we're talking about a ridiculously high number of these in just one day, never mind over the years. And yet you don't hear of people dying from it.
Some factors of how we do it: well, obviously we don't use any rigid objects like a nightstick, we don't choke using things that can't be released quickly (it IS common to choke someone using the collar of their own gi, but that's hardly comparable to a belt or rope that's been tied or fastened in some way), and when possible we tend to go for blood chokes/strangulations instead of air chokes, which means we're not putting much pressure on the wind pipe most of the time. Unlike what some of the posts say above, we ARE fighting the chokes (these are competitive sports, after all), but we realize when we're caught and almost always tap out, as opposed to fighting until we've passed out. We also have high level, professional instruction in what we're doing, with supervision most of the time while training.
So my advice: stay away from using belts, bars, ropes, and chains. Start with the hand over the nose and mouth, and if you really are enjoying it, one or both of you might consider signing up for a few months at your local brazilian jiu jitsu, judo, or submission grappling school. I'm surprised more kinksters don't do this, after all, this may be the only aspect of kink where you can openly attend several classes a week with trained experts.
My ex was heavily into this. All I can say is that I don't recommend it. As Russell pointed out, it's dangerous. I mean, go parachuting or bungy jumping instead. Just for safety :)
Best advice I can give is stay sober and never do this while tipsy. It's not much of an advice but I was never comfortable about it. I just indulged her.
I thought it was best to use one hand and press on the each side of the adam's apple without pressing the adam's apple itself. The reason I did this is because there's a muscle there which relaxes when she's about to pass out. She's a nurse and told me what to do, so I was pretty confident it would be all right.
Why one hand? Because I could support myself with the other while fucking her lying down ;) She liked to be suffocated while she came. Which added another element of danger, because she could hardly give me any feedback in that state. But her orgasms where utterly insane. She was having spasms for minutes. So there must be something in it.
edit: Yes, she's still alive. She's my ex for another reason.
hahaha well gorgeous, i'm guessing it's that first big breath we hold just seconds before becoming ummmm noisy *blushes* heheheQuote:
Originally Posted by icey
You can also crush the larynx if you're not careful mm- a good idea to find out about the whole thing.
I've never done it in a D/s context, but my wife & I used to do some pretty wild stuff, including breath play. It can sure be intense.
My comment would be for anyone looking to do such things, is to learn CPR.
Imagine calling an ambulance while he or she is chained to the bed & turning blue?? :32:
icey "how come we get so noisy then :winks*"
When she cums with my hand covering her mouth fingers pinching her nostrils and under her chin and I give her permission to cum the muffled sounds she makes is damned exciting but other then breathing through her skin she is also fighting for air. Quite erotic and takes her deeper into her climax then without the breath control technique.