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Since I don't have anyone I can talk to about this stuff...I was thinking it might be helpful for me to post my thoughts, what's going on in my life, and - most importantly - info about potential masters I meet. That way, people could tell me if something looks suspicious,etc... What do you all think? Is that something I should do under my profile?Sorry if I didn't explain this clearly...I can't sleep and i'm a bit out of it!:confused:
One way to do this is to set up a live journal or similar blog account and then post a link to it on here somewhere for people to friend you and read it. There are a lot of pages out there that will allow you to do this and they have more facilities than a forum like this for posting videos and photos.
The only way it would have any value for identifying suspicious behaviour if is your journal were being read by people you respect and trust. Because, after all, you're not taking advise from just anyone, right?
A public journal might even harm your search for a master, because, after reading a couple of pages about your thoughts and fears, I could probably tell you exactly what you want to hear, making it easier for posers to get to you.
If you want to keep a journal online, by all means, do so. Think twice about making it a public journal, though. And do not trust the journal itself as a safety-net. You must have thought of which people here you'd want reading your journal and advising you; I'd contact them directly asking to help you weed out the bad responses. You might email them or let them read your journal and get their opinion. Do not place trust in having a journal or that 'people' will warn you, place trust in individuals.
Oh, of course a good thing would be that writing about everything will give you the chance to think things through again and might help you put your thoughts in order. A plain old diary would do the same though.
As GS42 says, it may not help any unless you know who you can listen to & trust.
There's nothing wrong with just starting a thread as you've done & posting what's going on for you- as long as you don't mind people making comments....
My suggestion would be to look very carefully around this or similar forums & find a Dom who's willing to listen- one that you can trust. Do some research.
You may even find someone willing to mentor you until you find Mr. Right, if you're genuine enough.
You can also learn a whole lot by just reading the posts & threads.
Yes, one of the advantages of proper blogging software is that it allows you to post to a select group of people. In LJ, for example, you can post to anyone who happens to find your post, anyone on your friends list, or a custom list meaning that even those on your friends list cannot read it unless you add them to the custom list. You can even set it to 'private' meaning only you can read it and you can also limit comments - either screening them so no one can read them but you or not allowing them in the first place.
All useful tools to maintain privacy...
Now this is some great advice and should be well paid attention to hun.Quote:
Originally Posted by GS42
From the posts you have put up so far, it sounds like you are losing patience and I'm sorry to see it. Your journey requires you have the utmost amount of patience in your looking. You haven't been on here very long - you have to take time to meet people, to watch, learn. I know you don't want to hear something as mundane as that, god knows I never do lol especially when I've run out of patience and think I want to give up hehe
My search has been a very long and tedious one, mostly hampered by myself in many ways. I keep thinking I've had patience in my search, but truly haven't. I jump to the negative quickly, trying to weed them out before they have a real chance to start. That may not be a bad thing entirely though, lol, maybe it just means that the really intent ones will see past and help me through it?
I certainly don't have any sure fired answer, but rushing, I do know - isn't it. Exposing too much of yourself too fast isn't it. Taking on the first person claiming to be Domly isn't it either.
As jeanne suggested in your other post on how to find a Master, you may want to post in the personals for a mentor and see if you can find a friend to help you along, to talk to, to gain insight from, to draw the very necessary patience from. A mentor can take you a long way down your journey and will help keep you in solid position to look from.
Ok that's my morning babble, I need more coffee :278:
Good luck hun
I wouldn't count on that - at least not in a strictly online sense. Perhaps if you meet one in real-life, and he sees you as what he wants - the physical/emotional/mental combination, then he'll want to invest that time and patience. But online, it's too simple to give up and look for another sub. And asking an online Dom to 'jump through hoops' very early on (as he might view it) could easily drive him away, even the ones who might have been worth keeping. Keep an open mind, mg. You may find yourself surprised. And ask other subs who have been here a while - even if they have no experience with that particular Dom, they've probably formed some opinions based on watching his interactions with other Doms and subs. Feel free to PM me if you'd like - but I must admit, I know nothing about the Doms who hang out exclusively in the chatroom, since I'm so very rarely there. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by mastersgem
Heehee! I wish it were me, cause that's great advice! (I think it was Tojo, above.) I would add a note of caution: some Doms will offer to 'mentor' when what they really are looking for is a subbie (or six) to play with and figure that paying the price of listening to her is worth it. Submission is so emotional and mental...beware of those who want the fun of having subs with none of the emotional and mental involvement. I can just hear it in my head: "yes, yes, it is hard to find a good Dom...how about I let you show me what you're willing to do so I can gauge your readiness...now buy a webcam so you can torture your nipples for me tomorrow."Quote:
Originally Posted by mastersgem
Bah.
I don't get much time at all in the chatroom - I did at first but haven't been able to really in ages.Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanne
My note on this was more along the line of those who aren't really invested for long-term and are just players don't have the patience to help a sub over her fears of trepidation and worry as much as a more solid, grounded, real Dom will because he understands better a subs emotional side vs her sexual side ;)
So a Dom who takes the time to invest in a potential sub (again that dreaded patience word!), would be far more someone I would spend time with as opposed to someone who doesn't have enough security in themselves (confidence) to help you become all you want to but are scared to :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanne
Ooops hehe my bad, sorry jeanne (in my defense, it was too early in the morning haha!)
I couldn't agree more with you on this comment though! well said! :D That tact has been tried so many times on me and as soon as you say, I first want to get to know you a little, before I commit any kind of sexual relation, you quickly find them 'dropping' off-line and moving on to the next unsuspecting victum *shakes head*
Aloha
all the advice above is in the main very good you would do well to listen to them. I would perhaps suggest that it might be worth looking at the Acadamy as an interim measure untill you find the 'right' Dom.
Regards Dragon.
PS Wonders if we could get the Mentor programme running again that we used to have?
Thank you for your thoughts. What's the Academy?
Thanks all for reading my post and offering your advice. It is much appreciated.
Here is the link but you can get there from the library home page.Quote:
Originally Posted by pettobecaged
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/academy/
Need any help or have any questions feel free to pm me any time.
Also it occurs to me that asking other experienced subs (maybe some who have posted here) about suitable Dom's to approach if you are considering a mentor is a good ideas. Many of the ladies (and me) here are pretty screwed on and can guide you to people who would have your best intentions to heart.
Also what about an experienced sub as a mentor? We Dom's don't know every thing! We'll not always. LOL
Regards & Mahalo Dragon