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Are all dominants overly proud, and unable to take advice from other masters? I know I was. It got better. But I didn't really stop and listen until after it was too late and I'd made all mistakes by myself. Now I listen more than ever, but the trait could have been more useful earlier in my life.
How about you? I'm curious to hear what journey you took, or how you're coping with being at the beginning of yours?
This is obviously a question only to dominants.
I actually consider myself a good listener and if I notice that somebody knows better than I do in some field of expertise I make sure to listen for my own good.
Being a good Dom/Master in my book also means that you can and will listen. That doesnt mean that you should listen to whatever crap is thrown at you but if somebody knows better then pay attention and then make up your own mind.
I started my journey as a sub and my Domme stayed my mentor for a while after I determined that I was better suited on Top. It was helpful to have someone I could talk to while I was learning my way.
As I developed my confidence, I feel more able to offer advice to others. However, I still ask questions of other Dom/mes, especially in areas that I'm not entirely familiar. For example, the first time I used a cane, I talked to several people and even got to practice on another's sub before I ever touched my girl with it.
:32: Can submissives at least eavesdrop on the discussion?Quote:
Originally Posted by TomOfSweden
Seriously, a thoughtful question. I'll be "listening in" on what's being said...if that's okay.
:wave:
Why not? That's how you learn.Quote:
Originally posted by tessa:
Can submissives at least eavesdrop on the discussion?
I have always tried to learn form the experience of others and have never been too proud to ask what may seem like stupid questions.Quote:
Originally Posted by TomOfSweden
Quote:
Originally Posted by tessa
That was me being smart-assy-fied. I was in a mood. :oQuote:
Originally Posted by ashtonDs
And because I happen to think this is one hell of an excellent question to pose, I will be "listening" in, because I can learn something. I'm hoping others who read the responses will too. I've heard from a few too many submissives lately who are, to some extent, in harm's way because they are with "Doms" who really don't seem to know what they're doing.
At least I hope it's because they don't know. It'd be horrible if they knew better and just weren't.
:wave:
Well it has been my experience that dominance may come naturally for many; yet, one allways needs to learn from others. The dominate individual that closes his or her ears to the wisdom of others is a fool.
I have had many mentors in this way of life. Some from books, some real life, others proxy, all have inspired me.
Not surprisingly, in my time I have noticed it is often one's own slave that you will learn the most from.
All knowledge is power.
I always thought observation of and application of lessons learned by others for my benefit was the best way to go. No need to spend time money emotions on things that can be avoided by paying attention to others experiences.
I figured as much, but I was in a mood too. btw I love that word...smart-assy-fied. I'm going to start using in conversation often.Quote:
Originally posted by tessa:
That was me being smart-assy-fied. I was in a mood. :)
Seriously though, no one gets too old or too smart to learn. I have the most respect for Dom/mes who start out as a sub (and I've heard some do to learn). It kinda like learning the business from the ground up, so to speak. And I'm not saying I have no respect for those who didn't come up that way.
It seems that anyone who is serious about this should be learning from all perspectives.
(Shhh, tessa...I think one of them is going to say something again. ;))
Perfectly stated. But then again, I am partial to all things perspectively viewed.Quote:
Originally Posted by ashtonDs
~shhhushes so I can listen~Quote:
Originally Posted by ashtonDs
I've never considered it pride. I figured pride is about your image mostly, and I've never been bothered by how others perceive me. My great flaw in this department is arrogance. Sometimes this stops me from picking up things I should have, simply because I thought whatever I knew was better. Most likely it will happen again.
I have found though, by knowing what you can and can't do, arrogance can become a lot like self-confidence, which is considered a good thing.