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What is the reality of 24/7 total power exchange relationship? I get the feeling there is still a lot of unclarity and discord as to what people refer to by that, (or maybe its just me, lol).
So to start the thread going a few questions:
What does 24/7 power exchange mean to you? Do you view your relationship as such?
Over which things do you give up control and how much, if any, do you get to keep?
hi i have been a slave for nearly 5 years now to my Master i am happy to be owned and collared to me being a slave to my Master is my life and what i owe my Master owes it now i would give up my life for my Master being a 24/7 slave means that i am there for my Master for his beck and call what ever is need to be done i will always will be there to do it for my Master
Quote:
Originally Posted by slavenaomi57
Wow, I would like to know more from you, but I have trouble reading with no punctuation...not that My spelling is any better!
I am a Master of a 24/7 slave. She wears my chain around her ankle at all times. She is only permitted to remove it when showering, swimming or if it would cause physical harm. Our relationship means that we have mutual respect for each other. Since we have a child in the house we have to limit our activities more than I would like but we do limit them. She serves me not only sexually but as a slave who performs those tasks that I require of her. I also serve her as any Master or Mistress does since the power we have over anyone is only that power that is given to us by them. Once again we are in a mutually respectful relationship where our needs are taken care of. Yes she does recieve punishment when necessary and does a fine job of serving me sexually with collar on and restrained as I deem it necessary.
My Seri and I consider our relationship to be that of a 24/7 total power exchange. This does not mean that I keep her locked in a box when she isn't busy serving my needs.
Most of our day is actually spent apart; like most working couples. She is however "Bound by Master's Will" as we Goreans like to say. That being she must follow a ridged schedule and code of conduct while both in and out of my direct presence. In effect she is allways "serving" me despite any direct seperation becuase she also doesn't do anything of her own design without first considering what my wishes would be; which requires a good deal of fore knowledge and ingenuity on her part to make certian she understands what is and isn't expected of her in any given situation (including what she does on-line). In fact every aspect of her life is mine to excersise dominion over as I wish.
This type of relationship doesn't just happen over night. It takes a great deal of time and understanding on both our parts to acomplish, as well as a great deal of trust. In fact "trust" is perhaps possibly the single most important factor in a 24/7 relationship.
If she is disobedient or acts without thinking I have to trust she will tell me of her transgressions and or uncertianties , even her thoughts in a given scenario or occurance during her day. She must also trust that I will not unduely punish her unwarrentedy and that I take in to account that in those circumsances under which she has no guildline from past experience or direct standing orders, that she acted as best she could to please me.
Without this mutual trust we would have nothing.
Good points raised there big K, yes trust is to me the key of any good bdsm relationship this trust is earned and flourishes in an environment of honesty, openness and understanding.
This is i feel the big difference between vanilla and bdsm couplings, in the vanilla world, we all know of relationships that "survive" on little more than some mediocre shared interests and historic love.
in a bdsm coupling trust and intimacy are essential, as you say Kuskovian it would be easy for a sub to conceal or hide their transgessions, the fact they choose to tell their doms and wish to be punished to atone for their actions demonstrates the love and trust that is essential in a bdsm relationship
For me 24/7 is not something that i feel in modern society is physically possible at all times, it is however as big K states possible within the mind, when needs result in the couple being apart.
As for the things that i as the dom take control of, this depends, and to some extent evolves, as stated trust is essential, this is earned not given and is a two way street, as such i find that more and more my sub begins to seek guidance and approval from me in relation to more and more aspects within their lives.
As the relationship develops and they learn to accept, appreciate and enjoy my control over them they look to me for greater guidance, becoming dependent upon it for their own happiness and peace of mind as they embrace the dynamic of our relationship.
within the confines of trust and understanding my sub embraces her submission, and feels safe and protected, it sounds odd i know, almost a dichotomy but there is no weakness in true and complete surrender only strength, also total submission results in my sub feeling free and liberated.
Statements which i know sound at odds with themselves, but they are true never the less.
Good thread though AdrianaAurora
How many of you agree with the statement that before a girl gives herself to her Master/Owner she has only one more decision to make and that is to give herself up completely? And that her sense of "being a free person" will disappear and she will be totality owned?
Is it possible to be totally 24/7 without being Master or Owner/slave, (just D/s)?
I think thats a fairly common prejudice. Is it true or false?
If you and your partner have an exchange of who is in charge in the relationship. It's 24/7. Just cause the Sm aspect isn't 24/7 doesn't mean anything.Quote:
Originally Posted by AdrianaAurora
Additionally, the notion that a slave in bdsm has no choices is ludicrous. Anyone saying otherwise is fooling themselves.
so very well said ID Crew Dawg
my owner and i have a very give and take dynamic at play in our relationship, constantly testing each others boundaries and levels of control, despite my declared obedience to his will and foreknowledge that i am utterly his in everyway and that my resistance may be futile i do in deed still test his resolve to control me and he not only expects me too, he wants indeed orders me too
as for being free, i have never been more free than after i acknowledged that i was totally and utterly his in every way
some time ago i made a thread addressing my experience in the type of total power exchange relationship that my owner has with me: here is a link for those that are interested
http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/sh...ad.php?t=15978
Prior to my coming here my exposure to philosophies other than His own has been very limited, I never questioned His dominant nature and He never had any desire to "contain" me as a person or my opinions. We have this dynamic where He has a dominant personality and I have submissive, there really isn't a way to shut that down (?), but we work everyday things out on a case by case basis. So I had never defined us as a 24/7 TPE.
Before coming here the only TPE relationships I heard defined as such where the ones where a girl basically gives up her entire life to subjugate herself to her Owner completely and ends up as a 24/7 SM slave with little or no outside contact and/or no way to terminate her "contract". It freaked me out so much I even requested Him not to call me a "slave", but I never told Him why.
Anyway that was the end of it, until recently some posts here at the Library made me start asking questions. So a few nights ago when He was packing for His trip (I do have the best timing, lol), I brought up the subject of TPE relationship. He looked at me with a "D'oh!" expression in His beautiful, usually expressionless, green eyes, LOL, "We already have a 24/7 D/s relationship". I will spare you the details of my stuttering, lol.
But of course that only made a little :vampire: in me only question things more.
Wellcome to the club sis lol
hugs and kissess
funny how one little question and its answer can redefine ones whole perspective
i have allways been told that the ones that live in the nightmare world you described are what is called a "doormat" here by some,
hey den profound as ever, i agree fully it is down to each persons personal choice, and perspective, after all one mans freedom fighter is another's terrorist, it is horses for courses, what ever floats an individuals boat, there really is no right or wrong.
We all have different needs and desires thank god! lol the trick i guess is to realise this and respect each others wishes.
slaves, subs, doormats etc are but labels, often only used by those who fail to see for the lack of looking !
Good post though, it is good to stimulate such debates.
I apologize if this is going to disrupt the thread, but I have a little, sort of philosophical question...How do TPE relationships compare to Domestic Discipline?
Thank you, I guess, lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by denuseri
Yes, f a s c i n a t i n g, isnt it, lol. Everything is still the same, yet everything has changed. How, you might wonder, have I managed to stay clueless? Well, yours truly is pukingly good, little wifey/subbie, lol. I would never do anything that would publicly embarrass Him or hurt Him privately. It sounds silly, I know, but I actually feel His pain more acutely than my own. It never even occurred to me to do something that He would find objectionable, at least not without discussing and notifying Him about it in advance. And we never really had such a strong disagreement where He would have put His foot down regardless of my opinion. And a lot of it, after everything we had went through to be together, just doesn't seem worth it.Quote:
Originally Posted by denuseri
My perspective on that is, there is a "doormat" and then there is a doormat.Quote:
Originally Posted by denuseri
No apologies necessary, I have a fair share of those myself, lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by damyanti
I could be wrong, but I think DD is more about recapturing traditional man - woman roles, not unlike "50is idyl". DD couples rarely venture into BDSM other than an occasional spanking and in fact they often take offense at being labeled BDSM. TPE is about D/s regardless of dominants partners gender; for more about TPE look to posts above.
The reality is that life happens. No one can live a fantasy 24/7/365. The only reason there is unclarity and discord is that some people dislike labels altogether and some people want a label but twist it to suit themselves.Quote:
Originally Posted by AdrianaAurora
To me, 24/7 TPE refers to a Master/slave dynamic in which the couple live together. It's a little redundant if you ask me since I don't believe in M/s relationships that are not live-in. How can someone be a Master over someone else if they haven't taken on the full responsibility, right? Anyway, I don't view my relationship as such because we are not yet living together. For now, it's just D/s with a little S&M every other weekend.
As stated, I haven't given up much control, yet. So far, it's mainly been paltry things like hair length, hair color, monogamy, articles of clothing, what time to call him, when to go to bed, etc. Since we live in different states, we both pretty much have to go about our lives as usual. However, when or if I move in with him, it will be TPE which is exactly what it sounds like, i.e. giving up all control.
I don't agree with that statement in the literal sense because we have to make decisions every day. It's the last time she chooses to submit, meaning that she has given up her power to negotiate. I have no idea about what people sense, but she will be as owned as she and the law allows.Quote:
Originally Posted by AdrianaAurora
It's possible to be 24/7 without being TPE. In the case of D/s, it denotes that you're not bedroom kinksters but lifestylers.
I have no idea what prejudice you're talking about, so I don't know if it's true or false.
Thank you so much for your candid and thorough answer, Flaming_Redhead.