First posting - here to learn

Greetings to the Community.

I am a new member, of course. I am a 55 year old man in the Chicago western suburbs. I am fit, 6 feet in height, about 185 pounds, dark hair and eyes. I am a technical professional, employed with the same company 28 years.

I took up my courage and signed up for an account here to begin exploring the BDSM scene. Due to an impending divorce, I now feel free to explore and actualize the intense, but secret, turn-on I have always felt in response to images of restraint. Even in vanilla sex, my main pleasure has come from trying to intensely intuit what my partner needs in terms of a loving dominance, then controlling the situation to provide it, pushing the envelope and adding my own creativity to the encounter. No explicit BDSM, but ususally combined this with an intense bondage fantasy that I would merge with the whole process. Kind of complicated to explain. I've read something of the psychological underpinnings of BDSM and am beginning to realize that BDSM is not a perversion to be ashamed of, but rather a frank, beautiful and loving expression of trust between partners. At least, that's what I am looking for. I need to explore that part of who I am. I am beginning to realize that, far from being in opposition to who I am, my fascination for BDSM is a logical extension of my "normal" personality and inclinations.

I always thought my inclination toward a loving intuitiveness and desire to satisfy my partner sexually was inconsistent with being a dominant. After my reading more serious essays, in particular "The Healthy Submissive", I realize tha BDSM is probably the perfect venue to express what I always have tried to....but in an intense, new and exciting way.

So, here I am. No experience, no partner to play with, willing to learn, and ready to talk.

:welcome:

Hello and Welcome to the Forums

Hi!

Welcome back from the dead.

Ask yourself how it is not giving to take what your partner would want you to have. Think about the pleasure they will receive in willingly serving you, how they trust you enough to give themselves completely to you and how you will treat the gift of self they present to you.

Here you will see how you will satisfy, giving them as well as yourself what you crave.

Hi lazarus :wave: Welcome to the Library! Have fun!

Hello and :wel to the Forums

Welcome to the Library. Enjoy the journey. :)

Well said, and thanks. For me it's a question of channelling a secret sub-text of sexuality into a full expression and removing the repressive and moralistic aspects from my thoughts and emotions. I'm pretty well along that path through reading and contemplation. I feel I'm at a stage where some experimentation is needed.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Diablo

Welcome back from the dead.

Ask yourself how it is not giving to take what your partner would want you to have. Think about the pleasure they will receive in willingly serving you, how they trust you enough to give themselves completely to you and how you will treat the gift of self they present to you.

Here you will see how you will satisfy, giving them as well as yourself what you crave.

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Welcome to the Library

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Diablo

Welcome back from the dead.

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laffin ;)

:wave:

:wel laz.

Hi and welcome to the forums. You will find lots of good advice here as well as people to talk to. I hope you find it a place where you can learn and grow.

It is great to hear you are ready to explore more. Remember BDSM can be whatever you want it to be, from sensual play to more hard core play. You just need to find out what it is that turns you on and enjoy!

welcome :)

wellcome to the site

we are so very happy to have you here, the forums are full of great information, as well as having a very nice personels section and chatroom

feel free to pm any of the staff or myself with conserns or questions, we are more than willing to lend a hand

hope to see more of you soon
have lots of fun exploring the site
hugs and kissess
denu