Hi there

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10-19-2008
Eternalstudent

Hi there

I joined this site looking for advice and the company of others. I'm new to the scene and I am just learning questions I need to ask.

The crux: I feel that my submissive gf is looking for more of a 24/7 relationship than I am able to provide at my current level of understanding. She also appears to be fragile and internalizes aspects of our play which is affecting our vanilla relationship. The psychological aspects of our relationship has become stressful to me and I need some help. It is very important to me that she is not harmed by me hurting her (if you get my drift).

Control is a funny thing... when you have it responsibility makes the decisions.
10-19-2008
Aussiegirl1

Hi and welcome to the forums. You will find lots of good advice here as well as people to talk to. I hope you find it a place where you can learn and grow.
10-20-2008
leo9

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eternalstudent

The crux: I feel that my submissive gf is looking for more of a 24/7 relationship than I am able to provide at my current level of understanding. She also appears to be fragile and internalizes aspects of our play which is affecting our vanilla relationship.

This is worth noticing for all newbies. BDSM in general and D/s in particular can be emotionally life-changing, and you need to be prepared for the risk that a play relationship may suddenly turn very serious indeed.

As they say in the poly community, you can't put a condom on your heart.

Quote:

It is very important to me that she is not harmed by me hurting her (if you get my drift).

Control is a funny thing... when you have it responsibility makes the decisions.

Well done for having the maturity to see that. With great power comes great responsiblity, and sometimes, like the originator of that saying, one has the power and responsibility thrust on one unexpectedly.

If you thought you had a playmate and suddenly find you have a slave when you aren't ready for one, you are going to have to deal with it. Maybe you will have to find someone who can own her 24/7.
10-20-2008
lucy

Hello and welcome to the forum :wave:
10-20-2008
Tufty

Hello and :wel to the Forums
10-20-2008
rosebud

Hi :wave: Welcome to the Library! Enjoy!
10-20-2008
blythe spirit

:wave:
10-20-2008
Ozme52

:wel
10-20-2008
DiablosLittleOne

Welcome to the Library. Might I suggest introducing your g/f to the site as well so that she may read some of the posts in the sub section. She might find it helpful and I'm sure she has many questions of her own. :)
10-20-2008
Diablo

Good luck on this journey.

Remember this and it will be easier, be patient and open with one another. We really work just like the vanillas, we just have more fun. :D
10-20-2008
MrDom

Hello. Welcome
10-20-2008
denuseri

wellcome to the site

we are so very happy to have you here, the forums are full of great information, as well as having a very nice personels section and chatroom

feel free to pm any of the staff or myself with conserns or questions, we are more than willing to lend a hand

hope to see more of you soon
have lots of fun exploring the site
hugs and kissess
denu
10-22-2008
Eternalstudent

Thank you all for the welcome

I really appreciate the kind welcome and advice. It's nice to know that there are real people willing to share their thoughts.

Since my first post things have improved in my relationship. However I intend to become more involved with this community. Thank you for the support.
10-22-2008
Eternalstudent

Thank you all for the welcome

I really appreciate the kind welcome and advice. It's nice to know that there are real people willing to share their thoughts.

Since my first post things have improved in my relationship. However I intend to become more involved with this community. Thank you for the support.
10-22-2008
QuietMaster

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eternalstudent

I joined this site looking for advice and the company of others. I'm new to the scene and I am just learning questions I need to ask.

Control is a funny thing... when you have it responsibility makes the decisions.

Openness, understanding and attention to subtlies are a few of the important elements of a relationship.

The differing perspectives indeed complement the expectations of individuals.

Welcome and enjoy the travels in your quest for knowledge.
10-22-2008
DowntownAmber

Welcome to the site - as others have mentioned I'm sure you'll find lots of helpful advice and friendly folks willing to share.