What do you do?

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11-07-2008
BrightFyrefly

What do you do?

Hypothetical situation:
Your Master/Dom is going through a rough time and can't provide you with the beatings/domineering/loving that you have been craving. You can't get it out of your head, but you know that it's the WRONG time to try to push anything. You aren't allowed to masturbate. What do you do?

I know that I just wait until my Master is ready to deal with me, which can be nice, even though it gets really hard sometimes. I just want to know what other Subs and Slaves do in the same situation, or would do, so I can commiserate a little.
11-08-2008
Ozme52

One begs a boon.

On your knees, postrate, naked of course, a choice of beating instruments in your hand.

You can beg for yourself but better yet, you can be offering him to vent or distract himself.

I'd bet most dominants would gladly take a moment to not have to think about whatever situation is bothering them in favor of working off some excess energy.

Don't forget the dominant will be needing a little aftercare so don't make it all about you. Be sure to service him/her immediately thereafter... and then perhaps a libation to cap off the evening. :D
11-08-2008
cadence

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ozme52

One begs a boon.

On your knees, postrate, naked of course, a choice of beating instruments in your hand.

You can beg for yourself but better yet, you can be offering him to vent or distract himself.

I'd bet most dominants would gladly take a moment to not have to think about whatever situation is bothering them in favor of working off some excess energy.

Don't forget the dominant will be needing a little aftercare so don't make it all about you. Be sure to service him/her immediately thereafter... and then perhaps a libation to cap off the evening. :D

Yes but if he can't provide you with the beatings/domineering/loving then you can't really offer yourself up to him.
For me I wouldn't want to offer myself up for his use when he is distracted by something else, and definately not when he is in a bad mood.
Funny this very thought is on my mind and my answer is that I wait until he is ready.
Depending on the timeline, I will masturbate, however I have negotiated my orgasms so that I don't have to beg for them all of the time.
If I wasn't allowed to masturbate, and given my stuborness for that particular action, I more than likely still would.
11-08-2008
rainbi

Have you tried writing as a way to explore your thoughts? As it doesn't involve your master, or masturbating, it might help a little in releasing some tension. Perhaps more so if you know your master will look over what you have written before he deals with you next (and hopefully will get some inspiration from your fantasies).

...alternatively, for a bit of physical relief, how about doing some ridiculous form of exercise - tire yourself out with a massive run/do some kickboxing/martial arts etc.
11-08-2008
satisfied

I would hope that if this man is your Master that the relationship you have with him goes beyond sex. If that is the case then perhaps what would be best for him right now is to just have you near. For you to sit at his feet and lean against his leg and just let him enjoy your touch. We all put our own needs on the back burner when someone we care about is hurting. (at least i do). There is so much healing power in just touching another human, especially one we cherish, when we are down. If you are calm and act as a kind of touch stone for him while he is not at his best then you will probably find that when he's better, you will have a much stronger bond with him than you had to begin with. Just be patient. If he is hurting as bad as you say then this is the time to put his needs first.
11-08-2008
Jayden McZimmer

if my Mistress is too busy to play or spend time with me, she knows i have needs and she wants me satisfied just as i want her to be satisfied at all times. she will give me permission to play on my own and come if we cannot play together due to other obligations. then i usually have to write her an email after i play telling her about what i did and what i thought about.

i think one has to know that you have needs and just because he is busy doesn't mean you should be put on hold.
11-08-2008
flying66

lol hey this situation sounds familiar! well I'm allowed to play with other ppl, just not by myself... so if I can't get my physical needs with Him then I can go play with some friends online or offline.

as for His needs, well I agree with satisfied... be there for Him... and I think Rainbi has a good point about writing your thoughts down.
11-08-2008
BrightFyrefly

So far I like the feedback I am getting on this. I think there are really good points, some of which I am already doing, so I'm thinking about (I like the physically exhausting myself one, I think I need to find a good punching bag or something). Since I write a lot I don't know if that would help or make it worse.
11-08-2008
thepast

r/l is r/l. Things happen that don't work within the boundaries of our Lifestyle Eutopia... so you have to adapt to the situation.

Maybe suspend your normal rules (after discussing with your Dominant of course) so you can bring yourself pleasure--or at least satiate yourself enough that it isn't bothering you. Maybe you go find a new hobby to occupy your thoughts/mind for a while...

But I say this with experience: COMMUNICATE with him about your needs... Dominants aren't mind readers, and men, in particular, aren't necessarily as good at reading the female mind as the female thinks... There's a really good chance he's so absorbed in r/l issues that he isn't thinking about your orgasms. It isn't that he doesn't care, it's just that he is tunnel visioned right now.

You should be the least complicated thing in his life: so as much as you can take care of yourself, and yet be supportive of him, the best. If you can approach him with a solution that is reasonable & rational, my guess his he would be very open to it. Very few Dominants are irrational so as to not realize that submissives also have needs...

Good luck in whatever you decide to do... but definitely COMMUNICATE...

...and on a side note: I agree with cadence. Pushing him into playing when he is distracted can actually be regretable & dangerous: you won't have a good play session because his mind will be elsewhere, and there's the chance that because his mind isn't 100% there, neither will his level of attentiveness to safety...

Just my two cents.
11-08-2008
Willsubmit2

as a matter of fact, i'm going through the very thing right now, my Dom is out of commision from an injury on his foot and it's been a week now...He has allowed me to see a friend i've made at the same time as Him to tend to my needs as i need until he is better....i have the best Dom in the world....(we get married Halloween 09).
11-09-2008
BrightFyrefly

Communication is really good between the two of us, and he knows very well that I am willing to wait as long as the situation takes for things to lighten in his mind.
11-19-2008
naomi57 {ukMC}

my Master does not allow me to play with myself what so ever as he says that it is his job mind you i am not saying that i am not tempted to do it as i am but i dont as i would feel like i would be letting my Master down if i ever did he said that he would give me such a spanking that i would not be able to sit down for a month let alone a week i do love orgasm control as i appreciate it more when my Master makes me cum which is about twice a month
11-19-2008
denuseri

It all depends on you and your dominant.

Comunication is a two way street.

We have sex all the time that doesn't require whippings and handcuffs.

Sometimes it is simply to help relieve some of his stress from a hard day.

My purpose is to make life a joy for him.
11-19-2008
sinderella

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrightFyrefly

Hypothetical situation:

if i were collared anything He asked of me, i would honor.

and as long as it took.

if it got to be unbearable, i would talk to Him about it. but i wouldn't masturbate behind His back or anything. i know why He would ask that of me and it would be pointless to ignore it, expecially if it were part of my training.
11-20-2008
BrightFyrefly

Quote:

Originally Posted by denuseri

It all depends on you and your dominant.

Comunication is a two way street.

We have sex all the time that doesn't require whippings and handcuffs.

Sometimes it is simply to help relieve some of his stress from a hard day.

My purpose is to make life a joy for him.

You know, interesting thing. Recently, he has been coming to me for stress relief, which I know helps him. I also find myself very turned on by it...I think, with a little prompting and training, I could very possibly just orgasm from serving my Master with fellatio. I think he would like that too...:hubba: