Spaztastic, you couldn't make this up

Occasionally some things are so incredible that you are simply left with two options: 1. cry, because it is so sad that its true or b. laugh, because its so spaztastic...

Things in this world that this brain of mine chooses to find spaztastically amusing....:cool:.


And since this is Christmas time....Denis Leary, :D. I don't know if you are familiar with his work, but you should definitely check his site. http://www.denisleary.com/
My absolute favourite is Oprah (Audio section, he is reading an excerpt from his book Why We Suck) and he also has some great "music videos".
It is not for faint of heart or those easily offended...that said, this guy is BRILLIANT. The man is completely irreverent and absolutely hilarious with his to-the-point social commentary. Perhaps the only true George Carlin successor!

Here is a link (still havent figured out how to upload videos :dunno:) to best Christmas song I heard in a long while ;)...

Merry F*%#-ing Christmas by Denis Leary

Cute song, ;).

I want a bucket of cheese on my head. Gotto love Dennis Leary :D

I so love Dennis Leary!! "The Ref" is one of my favorite holiday movies & his stand-up is awesome. His bits about 7-11 maple nut crunch coffee always cracks me up. And he even plays hockey - how cool is that??

I have a maschochistic obsession with lists, LOL...and the end of the year is prime time to catalogue everything stupid that happened in the year before (good things are never so much fun). I must have read dozens of 2008. *something* lists, none made me really laugh, but this one at least gave me a good chuckle: The Top Ten Comedic News Stories of 2008

Other stuff might have had a bigger impact on America and the World, such as an African American guy whose middle name is Hussein winning the Presidency of the United States. But so far, Mister Agent of Change is about as funny as over the counter ear drops. You can't mock hope right now. Too much like kicking small whimpering furry things with big eyes. Oh, he's bound to loosen up after a few weeks getting kicked around on Pennsylvania Avenue, but until then, here are the stories from '08 that were most filled with humorosityness.

10. Proposition 8. Organized religion goes out of its way to guarantee that gays will not be burdened with the right to be as miserable as the rest of us.

9. New York Governor and Emperor's Club member, Eliot Spitzer. Flies a hooker from New York to DC, because as we all know, there aren't enough hookers in DC. (535 that I can think of offhand) Gives her four grand and puts her up at the Mayflower Hotel. Now, that's a liberal. A conservative will try to get it for free in an airport men's room stall. Demonstrating fiscal responsibility.

8. Joe Biden. Has potential to fill gaffe gap being vacated by George Bush. Inserts foot in mouth so often, he should invest in mint-flavored shoelaces.

7. National Political Conventions. James Dobson's Focus on the Family called for a storm of biblical proportions to disrupt outdoor acceptance speech of Barack Obama on last day of the Democratic Convention. Hurricane Gustav slammed into New Orleans canceling first day of Republican Convention. Proving that either God has a sense of humor or be extremely careful what you ask for.

6. Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. Gives a bad name to people with bad names. Something about the Springfield Capitol makes it work like a halfway house in reverse. Economy is so bad, Hair Helmet probably offered free shipping with Barack's Senate seat.

5. The Primaries. 1: Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee raises hand at a New Hampshire Presidential Debate when asked, "who doesn't believe in evolution?" In May, he explains he is still campaigning because "at this point, its survival of the fittest." 2: In Philadelphia, Senator Hillary Clinton says "in this race, I am Rocky Balboa." Obviously forgetting that in first movie, Rocky loses. To a black guy.

4. President George W Bush. Lame duck, but a good ducker. International community furious at Muntadhar al Zaidi. Not for trying to hit the President with his size 10s, but because... 1.) his aim was bad, and 2.) he wasn't a centipede.

3. Senator John McCain runs worst campaign ever. That includes New Coke, France in '39 and Cloris Leachman on Dancing with the Stars. Doesn't know how many houses he has. Should do what I do. Every time I get four houses, I trade them in for a hotel.

2. The Economy. When everybody in America knows the name of the Secretary of the Treasury, that's not good. Line of the year courtesy of an anonymous Wall Street broker: "This is worse than a divorce. I'm worth half what I was...and I'm still married."

1. Governor Sarah Palin. For those destined to go cold turkey on Bush, she is like a dose of methadone. And she's sticking around. How you going to keep them down in Juneau after they've seen Neiman Marcus?

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Originally Posted by damyanti

I have a maschochistic obsession with lists, LOL...

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Great job, damyanti! I don't know whether to laugh or cry.:(

Quote:

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Originally Posted by damyanti

7. National Political Conventions. James Dobson's Focus on the Family called for a storm of biblical proportions to disrupt outdoor acceptance speech of Barack Obama on last day of the Democratic Convention. Hurricane Gustav slammed into New Orleans canceling first day of Republican Convention. Proving that either God has a sense of humor or be extremely careful what you ask for.

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LMFAO!!

This is the funniest of the lot - karma can be a bitch!

The ex-president George H.W. Bush and the father of the current president, speaking of his No. 2 son, former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush said, "I'd like to see him be president some day." Pressed further, Bush backtracked a little: "Right now is probably a bad time, because we've had enough Bushes in there." Ya think!...:rolleyes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PqI12R8YNU

Check out his other videos too, he is great fun...not to mention totally bootylicious, ;).

When I go to a party, it never goes by without me being asked at least five times: "But...What do you it?" :cool:

Which is why I love What The Hell Does A Vegan Eat Anyway? site. Amazingly beautiful pictures, recipes that make even the most hardcore carnivore go "Delicious," and an absolutely fantastic link list (such as Vegan Food Porn :D).

I have tried tofu time and again and I can't stand it. It's the texture... it's not right... same reason I can't eat beans. If it doesn't feel right I can't eat it.

<<loves tofu

I still eat meat but only very small portions

my vegan friends call me a carnivore lol

In the States here I had a friend that was a vegan. One night I caught her eating Jack-In-The-Box tacos. I was confused and she smiled and said there is absolutely no meat products in the tacos, the 'meat' is tofu.

I was blown away.

LOL tofu can be prepared in a wide variety of ways and look and taste just about exactly like meat.

Its not all that hard to convert to vegan really if you are willing to do the reaserch.

The Dieticians in RN school didnt reccomend it but they would still give us all the in's and outs so we wouldnt have any protien, vitamin or mineral diffecencies.

I actually was vegetarian for a while in highschool and later during and after RN school, but that was the limit of my exposure.

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Originally Posted by Kahlann

I have tried tofu time and again and I can't stand it. It's the texture... it's not right... same reason I can't eat beans. If it doesn't feel right I can't eat it.

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One thing you can try is freezing the tofu first, and then thawing it out. It takes on a very different texture -- spongy and solid.

Great bbq recipe: marinade tofu slices in peanut butter, olive oil, salt and pepper, bbq sauce. Grill on yr BBQ. MMMMM

Another thing to try is substituting silken tofu for recipes that call for a lot of cream or cheese. I like Nori-Mu silken tofu in tetra-paks (they don't need refrigeration). You can put it through your food processor, and it is even thicker than a cream sauce.

I was no-dairy vegetarian for many years, and I did well. Not only did I lose weight, but I also felt much healthier. I'm back on cheese and meat, and I can tell a huge difference. I feel heavier, even when I weigh the same.

Now in a sane world I would be out of things to post in this thread, but alas...LOL

This is an actual question published in a rather serious magazine here:

My boyfriend is usually very polite, but sometimes he acts like a jerk. He also has the smallest penis I have ever seen. I often wonder if he acts like a jerk because of it?

:confused: