Disciplining good girls

First some background info: My kitten and I are in a online relationship. Neither of us are experienced with BDSM, and we tend to restrict D/s to playtime, at least for the time being. We do not have a system of discipline, and I honestly don't know what I'd punish her for, as she's a very good kitty. We have both joined the tasking society to learn more and find our footing, although I don't have access just yet.

We are interested in experimenting with discipline and punishment, mostly for play. How could I go about this? What is there to punish for when she doesn't displease me in the slightest and we haven't started using tasking in our relationship? My current plan is to use spankings in imaginary scenes for punishing her when she's being naughty, with the implicit understanding that I'm not discouraging such behavior.

Any suggestions or thoughts about our situation?

I'm not a Dom and I have little experience, so take the following with a few grains of salt. I don't like being punished - it makes be angry, sullen, rebellious and resentful. However, I have found I do like some pain. I have no problem with it being included in play. I want to be flogged just for the fun of it. Is there any reason you can't just spank her for the fun of it - or is the element of "punishment" part of the fun for you?

I like spanking. It's on of my favorite things. I also like pain, so my poor Master has to come up with some clever ideas to punish me. However, if you just want to play with punishment, and not really punish her, since she's done nothing wrong... make the punishment fun! 'Catch' her doing something wrong, like masturbating without permission, or wearing an outfit that you find totally inappropriate. Then punish her for that discretion. But, make it something fun for both of you. You could spank her, or make her cum multiple times, or do the dishes while wearing nothing but undies and a dildo. Some 'punishments' can be a lot of fun if used for that sole purpose.

No matter what my Master does to me, as long as I know it's in good fun for Him and me, I enjoy myself. The feeling from His actions are totally different when I know I'm in trouble.

My Master like to punish, torture and beat me just because it makes him happy and I as hishumble slave take whatever punishment whenever he feels like giving it to me. he will put my clamps on my nipples and tugs and twists and the pain that remains reminds me of his love for me. You do not have to have a reason to "punish" her. You can do it simply because you want to.

I agree with claire. I dislike punishment as it feels like a parenting action to me, and I am not into that sort of play.

However, I do like pain, and hubby likes to give it.

You don´t need a reason. You don´t have to do punishments "just because everybody else seems to do them".

What is appropriate and wanted in your relationship should be determined between you and your partner, not based on any valid-for-all rules (which don´t exist anyway).

Punishment can be in any realm really ... it doesn't have to involve pain, it could involve degradation and humiliation ... or it could involve wearing a specific item of clothing against her wishes ... or doing something that she doesn't quite enjoy ... or as I said ... anything.

For instance, if I were a submissive, a Dominant might choose to punish me for using so many damn ellipses and chose to make me write 1,500 words free flow without being able to use ellipses.

On the other end of the spectrum, there is the physical punishment - i.e. spankings, slapping of the face, pinching, tickling, etc. etc.

The realm of punishments really has no boundaries.

Thanks for the replies, they're very inspiring and thought-provoking. When we discussed this earlier today, we agreed that punishing in all seriousness would take at least some of the fun out of it. I find the fantasy of punishment arousing, though, and I think I might like it more than arbitrary spankings and such. I'll think about it more and try to get a better understanding of the things you've suggested.

Well, so what about the fantasy of misbehavior? Tell her to try very hard to please you. I'm sure she'll fail somehow.

i love playing the game of being spanked for being wet - then checked again, and of course being wetter from the spanking, so being spanked for that....... for as long as you both want to play (or can bear it).

That's very different to real punishment - a defenite treat for me in fact, but a very fun "play punishment"

that is a great idea .. also finding some small thing during the day and saying << I will punish you latter for that .. >> then smile .. can lead to a great conversation and anticipation which can be taken where ever the two of you want it to ..

Arg, my Master does that. It's usually all in good fun (except that once *whimpers*). But, it almost always gets me excited and starts my mind to racing on what he might be up to.

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Originally Posted by Jim

that is a great idea .. also finding some small thing during the day and saying << I will punish you latter for that .. >> then smile .. can lead to a great conversation and anticipation which can be taken where ever the two of you want it to ..

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I was always a good girl with my Master (I just couldn't not be and we joked about this a lot) but what he finally did was very earnestly look me in the eye and ask me if I was willing to take a bit of pain for him...
I of course saw this as a way to prove myself to him and he saw it as a sign of my loyalty and devotion. I liked this way because it was so intimate and wonderful. I think I would have a problem with being 'punished' if I had done nothing wrong.

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Originally Posted by Laila

...but what he finally did was very earnestly look me in the eye and ask me if I was willing to take a bit of pain for him...

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To quote some inane celebrity:

"That's hot."

But really - it is. Thanks for sharing! :wave:

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Originally Posted by Laila

very earnestly look me in the eye and ask me if I was willing to take a bit of pain for him...

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I have found I can endure more when mine does that... even if I thought it impossible before... doing things expressively for him seems to be easier for me.

Discipline means more than punishment for wrong doing.

For example, you can teach her the discipline of keeping her legs open. A tap to the thigh or knee if she falters.

Or discipline her to stand on her toes as if whe were wearing heels, and a smack to the ass when she drops.

Exercise regimens can be maintained with discipline.

Give those examples, I have no doubt there are dozens of non-punishment disciplines you can instill in an online only situation...

From the spanking/whipping perspective, that happens to be something I enjoy, so it is never used as a punishment. My girl gets her ass reddened often, and because we don't get together as much as we'd like, when we do, she gets hundreds of strokes... and amazes herself at how much she endures for my pleasure.

Speaking of which... we rendezvous again in three days.

[QUOTE=Arria;793237]I agree with claire. I dislike punishment as it feels like a parenting action to me, and I am not into that sort of play.

hmm sorry to ramble off topic but i LOVE the parenting action to be treated like a kid and forced to do something cuz i was a naughty child.. then get scolded for whining or pouting back... lol just found ur statement interesting to see the different types of play and interests people have within the lifestyle :)

Well who says spanking has to be a punishment? says the sadist lol punishemnt can be tons of things writing assignment, kneeling, tasking, lecturing hell tons of stuff it doesnt have to be a spanking.....hell but i am capible of looking my pet in the eyes and say "master is going to hurt his little pet" and it would not be for punishment just for fun ....... i think it wil be more scarey for her not hearing those words then it truely would be a punishment lol

I read something the made my stomach do little flips.....

There is not much pleasure in punishment,( it is something to be feared). But discipline is saturated with it!!!

I agree wholeheartedly....

You could go for role play, too. All the typical school master - pupil type stuff; have her act as a school girl who has transgressed and has to go to the headmaster to confess and receive appropriate punishment (with the added fun that she has to think up what her transgression is going to be). Or give her some maths or a dictation to do or something and punish her for mistakes. You can find loads of ways to create the need for (play) punishment.

Actual punishment for actual misbehaviour is a totally different matter. And has been mentioned, does not have to include physical pain at all.

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Originally Posted by Ozme52

Discipline means more than punishment for wrong doing.

For example, you can teach her the discipline of keeping her legs open. A tap to the thigh or knee if she falters....

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What I (fondly) refer to as 'etiquette training'.. I'll never tell all My secrets, but I'll let you have a taste..

No submissive (or 'potential pleasure unit'/applicant) may stand in My presence unless I am standing.. The proper stance in kneeling, crawling or curled at My feet..

There are restrictions on the position of My submissive's fingers, hands, etc. whilst enduring one of My meticulous inspections (a common prelude to a scene).. Improper placement or blatant disregard for protocol is received as disrespect.. Oftentimes, My withholding of attention or binding & blindfolding them into a corner proves punishment enough..

As someone previously mentioned, corporal punishment is something I enjoy (with those capable of enduring).. I'll slap a slave on the hand with a ruler, but will reserve elaborate flogging/caning for My masochists..

If you are looking for something to punish her for, put a (clean) anal plug in her cunt and tell her not to let it slip out.. Make her suck (and occasionally gag) on your hard cock (or strap on) while kneeling in front of you.. Unless she is proficient with deep-throating it, the plug will be pushed out of her in a matter of minutes.. Make sure she's nice and wet before you put it in and tell her she is not allowed to use her hands to hold it in..

Spanking, cropping, flogging and whipping are fun - and my girl enjoys them - along with various other forms of pain induction - none of those are used in punishment (counterproductive in my opinion)... I hate to say it, but I've never had to punish my girl for transgressions - she just doesn't disobey unless there is a valid reason - and if she has had to disobey for a valid reason she 'fesses up immediately.

We have had misunderstandings - where she misunderstood an instruction - but I don't hold her guilty for not being a mind-reader.

So rather than looking for punishment reasons - perhaps punishment rewards are the answer? They work for us in r/t.

Hm, well.

First of all, you say you are both interested in BDSM, ask her if discipline is a turn on... because it doesn't always act as a punishment, and if she is a good girl, then, why punish her?

Secondly, role play can make everything easier, if she is interested in discipline, as she can act the naughty and rebellious type, and be punished accordingly in the play, but wont feel any sort of resentment or guilt in her real life about being punished for nothing.

This also makes it easier for the sub, especially if you keep the D/s thing solely for play time, as you both do.

Besides, think of the possibilities - she is a naughty school girl, a insolent maid, or perhaps she hasn't been a good girl, and her Daddy needs to teach her a lesson.

Whatever your poison, just talk about it maybe, and make sure she knows that she hasn't done anything wrong. Just to avoid any sort of hard feelings or upset in an otherwise playful D/s relationship.

Thats my advice.

unfortunately cant add much in the way of advice, but i do want to thank everyone who posted, as they were all interesting and informative! keep up the standards!

Do you actually want to play with "punishment", or do you want to play with "pain", and/or "humiliation"? They are nearly totally separate things.

The deepest desire of my (almost) pet erish is to be a "pet". That's largely a matter of "discipline". she loves proving herself to me, so that's one purpose of corporal punishment (whipping, nipple clamps, etc). she can take a lot in those situations. Also tickling.

she loves being trained, and that's another purpose. Everything from posture and position to forgetting a "Sir" every now and then. The difference is amazing. She wants to be "perfect" so badly that a couple of relatively light strokes for actual punishment (which I've only done once) has her lip quivering as she holds back tears. But 15 much harder strokes on a "prove herself" session with continual hair stroking and "good girl" comments can have her simply beaming with pride. (and me, too). For actual punishment, she can be punished with a word or two. I suspect that a simple "bad girl" would hurt her more than just about anything I could do with a crop (but I've never tried. It's hard to punish such an amazingly sweet and gentle creature).

And she loves pleasure/pain play, which is my very favorite use. We just had her first pleasure/pain session Friday. she said it was the most intense orgasm of her whole life. (It certainly was a messy one). Fairly light cropping and flogging, because of how easily she marks up. Much heavier tickling and ice play than anything we had tried before.

My opinion is that if it's just for fun, play around. spankings, wooden spoon, brushes, etc are basic around the house implements, but punishments don't all have to me physical, especially when it's just for play.

maybe a punishment would be writing "kitten will not be a bad girl again" 100x, OR she must polish your shoes to your 'satisfaction'...there are so many possibilities, just be creative!

my favorite play punishment reads like a rape fantasy (cuz I just like it that way). perhaps i was asked to be waiting for him naked in the waiting position when he got home, but I was too busy getting dinner ready, I wasn't in my place.....and then master shows me my place *winkwink*.

also, ask her what she likes. if she likes spankings because they get her hot, then that might be a good 'Play Punishment'.

Good luck to you & your kitten,
~ openlyrefined