just wondering. . .

is it necessary or useful to have a safeword with an online only dom?

i may have just found my first online dom, but i don't really know what's appropriate. i've only had one dom before, he was my fiance first, and i was way more into it than he (he would have never approached anywhere near my limits, so no safeword was necessary). online only, i always thought if anything was too much you could just shut the window or ignore it. . .

so, is a safeword useful with an online dom? any other tips for me while i get started? thank you.

Seems like it would be more polite than just closing the window.....

I guess the answer is - it depends. Is this a play-only situation - no emotional involvement, no submissive desire to please - then just shutting the window or whatever will work. Not the nicest thing to do, but okay.

If, however, this is intended to be a relationship and your goal is to genuinely submit to the will of your online Dom, then yes. A safeword is needed. He may push some mental or emotional button that you can't handle, besides the physical aspect.

thank you jeanne, i hadn't thought of it like that and you make perfect sense. i'll use a safeword then.

She's pretty sharp. ;)

Tsk, get a room, you two!

I wondered the same thing myself , when my online master first gave me safe words. I thought it was a tad silly more than anything else.
I thought this is online, how 'real' can it get....and wondered if it was possible to get myself into a position that my limits would be tested.

I wanted my submissive needs met. I wasnt going to get that from a play only situation , I want my limits tested and how was I or anyone else going to do that if I didnt allow my self to get in a position where they could be.

I have read it here in several forums.....and learned very quickly

Masters do know best.

Listen to what they tell you, always

The only exception I can think to that would be if your Dom was very new and not experienced.

i think jeannes post summs it up pretty nicely
which does pose the question why am i posting if its already been said? huh ill continue anyway
i think even in an online relationship a safe word is a good thing to have because you will find when you reach your limit and if you just close the window then where do you go from there? how do you find out why its a limit? or if you want to overcome that limit? if you are playing online then if you safeword your dom will know, and depending on the subsequent convoersation can decided wether to push that button again. but if you just close the window, and its a psychological button hes pushed and it really doesnt have a good affect, what happens if he pushes the same button again? Dom's online or r/l have a huge level of responsibility and no-one wants to be the person that hurt someone psychologically

wow what a lot of rambling and if that didnt make sense the general jist was yes i think safewords are a good thing even if it is an o/l relationship

emma x

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pearlgem

Tsk, get a room, you two!

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Okay! :D