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I'm asking this essentially so I (and you, too) can figure out what common mistakes are and learn to avoid them. The question is simple. What is it that you would like to change about your partner's performance in bed, either as a sexual technique or in terms of bdsm?
Frequency of play.
I'd like it to be more often.
Have you hinted this to him?
We are working on his using better judgement when he is joking around in a silly manner. There are times he needs to be more respectful of me, when he doesn't read me or the situation well. However, he gets the "LQQK" and simmers down quite nicely.
Also, orgasm control. He needs to have more control when at the brink. Oh well, I rather enjoy controlling it for him, so all is not lost.
;)
Yes. His work schedule sucks, to put it nicely.Quote:
Originally Posted by duktig flicka
Hmmm, maybe you could hint for him to set some tasks for you while he's at work?
I have. Often. Unfortunately he's a workaholic.
As it is things have taken a turn for the worse as now we get the pleasure of fighting about me feeling neglected and his hurt feelings for me making him feel like an inadequate dominant.
Whatever. What will be, will be.
Sonds like he needs a vacation. I get the same way. when I have been working to long with out a break. And when I say a break, I menfrom work, and not just a weekend but longer. He needs to get his head out of the job, before that is all he sees.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandora's Box
I'm sorry, honey. :(
Thanks. :)
We're now beginning our 3rd day of not speaking to each other. Not a good thing. But perhaps some time off will help? I don't know.
But like I said, what will be, will be.
:( If you are not talking than you are running the risk of loosing eachother. You have to have comunication, but constructive comunication. Not yelling at each other, or ending things in a huff. YOu need to be with each other, and not him at work and you complaining about it. You both also need to ask yourselfs the big question, and I hope that is you still want to be together. It sounds like you still love and want to be with him, and he you so that is were you begin, and talk to each other and work out the problems.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandora's Box
I reached out to him this morning. He needs to take a step towards me now.
And yes, we still do love each other. But love don't pay the rent, so to speak. Love, sometimes, is not enough. As much as we all want it to be.
So... yes, we need to talk. Seriously talk.
Well, we sat down and had a good and productive discussion.
His temper, my needs, his work schedule, relationship maintenance time... etc.
It's not all done yet. Far from. But it was a very good start and we both know we have a bit to go, but it's nice being on our way. :)
Thats good now you get to have the make up sex. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandora's Box
It is truly a lot of energy and yes, work to keep a relationship together, BDSM or not.
Good for you, Pandora.
:)
I like this post. I guess I'd have to agree that frequency is the biggest complaint. Kids/work/social obligations seem to limit us to about one true "session" a month it we're lucky.Quote:
Originally Posted by duktig flicka
My g/f is very into bdsm and loves the mixture of pain & sex that seems to intensify it through the roof. There are times when I wish she were a little more wild and experimental...but I don't push it. Here's why.
My wife (10 years ago) was extrememly attractive but a little shy in bed. I pressured her for along time (yes, I admit that I did it and it was wrong) to try threesomes, other girls etc. Eventually she did it. We had some great sex for a little while...right up until she divorced me and married one of those other guys. I'm very happy and in a healthy relationship now but it took a long time to get over the loss because I loved her very much...even though I wasn't very good at showing it.
But I did learn a valuable lesson that has stayed with me...
Be careful what you wish for, it might come true!