New to Scene- seeking advice

Greetings and Salutations all! Being generally new to the scene, as it were, I have been scouring the internet for advice, tips, pointers, stories, etc to glean what bit of info I can about the dynamics of the D/s relationship, both in online situations and in real life.

I recently spoke with a good online friend who is interested in becoming my partner in this journey of self-discovery of mine after expressing my desires to dominate a willing submissive male. I am currently married in real life, but my husband is accepting and understanding, however he is not willing to explore with me at this time.

The problem I am having is, I am not entirely sure where to begin an online relationship of this sort :D Does that sound silly? He completely trusts me, is willing to submit to me, but I feel strange in taking this step with someone I never looked at "in that way" :) This is something we both want, and I guess I just want to take the plunge.

Is there someone willing to offer pointers on how to handle this? Oddly enough, I would have less trouble if I had met someone online to share these experiences with, as opposed to my friend :)

I'm backwards I know :) He trusts me, and I trust him, and I know it's a good foundation :)

Any advice for this beginner?

I have some. Weigh the possibilities carefully, especially if you are married. I've been poking around this internet thing since they invented it and I have run the full circle of watching and engaging in online relationships...trying to transition into real relationships...and also doing it while I was married and seeing my wife do it while we were married (which we are not as of 10 years ago). It can be lots of fun...but can have real impact on your life too.

I know we have long time members who are in online relationships...and some in real relationships who started online. There's nothing wrong with that.

I have known people who left 10 and 15 years marriages for an online lover, only to find themselves alone in 6 months. I have also known people who met online and have great relationships...so far.

My only advice would be to tread lightly and think about the impact it may have down the road. It may be positive but it may also be negative.

I could write a book about my opinion on this...but that would bore the piss out of everyone and would still be just my opinion!

Good luck to you, I'm sure you'll get a lot of response on this post.

Not as much info as I hoped :p

My husband is fully aware, as well is my friend. We do not seek to bring this into the "real world" as it were, but neither is this something we are taking lightly or casually. I do not intend to leave my husband for my friend.

I appreciate that you took the time to say something though, glad to know there's people out there who care, as opposed to finding someone to cyber with :D :rolleyes:

I am glad your husband is aware of the situation and isn't showing a problem with it. That might change into the future though, so it is something to be aware of.

As far as how to actually start an online d/s relationship? Same with any. Communication. Talk to each other, find out each other's tastes. Let things flow naturally, don't try to force things.

It also wouldn't hurt to set some ground rules for the two of you. From things like when you can spend time together and guidelines for how to handle conflict to any things you may require of him as your submissive.

Just like any relationship (bdsm or not) it takes communication to be successful.

Good luck. :)

Thank you for posting :)
Things are starting off slowly, but I think they are going in the right direction :)
These boards have been fun to read as well, I'm glad there are a lot of intelligent people reading and posting here.. can't say that for other places, lol