22 year old looking around

I re-read my last personal post and it made me sound like I am unwilling to do anything haha. Sorry about that, I am just kind of nervous for some reason as I have never posted something like this before. Let me try again to articulate my desires.

I am a 22 year old male who is primarily a submissive but do on occasion enjoying being a dom. I don't really think the terms sub or dom apply to me though as I am primarily interested in bdsm activities as sex not as a life style. I am not looking for someone to tell me what to do 24/7.

I am currently without a partner so what I like to do instead is self spanking, self punishment, self bondage and things like that. Unfortunately I am not willing to send any pictures or video, I know that will be a deal breaker for many people. What I am looking for is someone, preferably a female although I guess it does not matter online, to instruct me what my sessions will be like. I want to tell someone what I have to work with and they will tell me what to do and how long I should do it. In that sense I would not make a good slave for anyone. I think I would be more of a...side project lol. My thinking was that this could be done though email and perhaps live chat though AIM or something like that. I am looking for this because the main problem with doing anything to yourself is being in control. I will never be able to spank myself as hard as I want and I will never be able to leave nipple clamps on or a butt plug in as long as if someone were making me. If I could at least lose control of what the scene was going to contain that would be better than nothing.

Above I said that the only interest i have in these things is on a sexual level. THat is not entirely true. Sometimes when I find myself very stressed out I will spank myself and it seems to relieve some of my stress.

Okay so I went from under explaining to over explaining haha. Anyway I would like to discuss this further with anyone and it should also be mentioned that I would be willing to do what I have outlined above for you as well, should anyone be looking for that.