A Teacher in Iraq

For those who know me, they know I am in Iraq. For those who don't, I am in Iraq and just over half way through my deployment. I am married to my pet peanut. We do a variety of things long distance to keep the old spark alive. We have been married for 12 (13 in April) years and in the life style to one extent or another for 10 of those years. By training I am a teacher and weather I am in a classroom or a war zone or a bondage forum, I can't separate that out of who I am. So, I thought I would share some of the things I and peanut do to keep it going, even if I am away for extended periods of time...and if I start sounding like a teacher??? Deal with it or I will spank your butt with my ruler.

Of course, the key to any relationship, regardless if it is some form of BDSM relationship or of the vanilla variety, is communication. And it is my belief that it has to be communication not only on a surface verbal level but on a subconscious level also. There must be what some call "Chemistry" as well as good verbal communication. "Chemistry" or subconscious communication is a very difficult thing to accomplish over long distance as it is based on every part of our senses to include verbal. It is the smells, the sights, the hormonal responses, the tastes, the sound modulations, and the touches all wrapped up in a neat little package. If you take away some of the parts of subconscious communication "chemistry" becomes harder to achieve. For example, if someone's body odor is offensive to you, it becomes more difficult to connect on every other level. The same if you find someone's voice grating to your ears, or their hands too soft or rough. Of course, these things can be over come, but it is more difficult than if they were not present to begin with. So the first thing my pet and I did to prepare for our being apart for over a year was to set up as many different types of communication as possible. The internet has been a huge help in this. We have video chat and can send pictures back and forth. As well as write our dreams and fantasies and worries to each other. We send clothing back and forth to each other to remember our smells. We have virtual sex as an aid to intimacy. And I have left a variety of tasks and chores peanut can perform in my absence so she can feel directed without me physically being there. All of this was done to enhance and facilitate the communication between the two of us during our separation. However, you can apply these things even if you aren't separated and have it benefit a relationship.

I will add more thoughts and describe some of the tasks and chores in later installments. Comments and discussion are very welcome.

Very well put. Stay safe brother.

Very well said. It seems you both have developed a great strategy for keeping your chemistry and passion in tact. In fact, it's sage advice whether bdsm or vanilla relationship.

Also, thank you for your service to our country and stay safe.

Congradulations and good for the both of you on the hard work you are doing to keep your relationship alive and well. One does not see that effort every day.

Thank you for your sacrifice for our country.

babe

Thank you all for the well wishes.

I feel like continuing my discussion about communication. Besides the verbal communication we have set up (internet chat and phone calls with the occasional video chat thrown in), I left a journal or book of tasks and chores for my peanut. The intent was that as the weeks and months flowed by and she felt lonely or in need of some dominance, she could open the journal and pick a task and do it as if I was directly giving her orders to do so. Which in a way I was as it was me that wrote the journal in the first place. For almost all of them she was to do the chore or task and then spend some time reflecting or writing about how she felt, her mental and physical reactions to the task, and then to write about it in a journal of her own. My thought was that she might feel closer to me, might feel my love and my desire reach out to her over the distance and wrap itself around her.

Happily it has worked. Not to the full extent I had hoped, but it definitely has become another tool in our arsenal to combat loneliness while I am gone. So I will take some time for the rest of this post and several to follow and describe some of the chores and tasks I gave to my peanut. Maybe, some of you can incorporate them into your play or lives and in some small way help or enrich your own relationships.

I broke the tasks and chores down into 3 categories. The first being simple, short duration tasks that could be completed in minutes. The second being tasks that may take some more time but didn't require much in preparation time. And the third being more elaborate and requiring both preparation time as well as extended time for execution.

In the first category, I instructed her to go for a walk, while on her walk she was to look for a stone, plant, leaf, or other natural object that she could pick up and take back home. This object was to be something she though I might like for some reason. She was then to write about her object in her journal and describe it as well as why she chose that object. In the end, she was to keep the object and show it to me when I get home. At various times as I have been away, I have given her directions to do this task but with my own twists thrown in. Once I had her seek her object while wearing a very tight pair of panties I bought her that are a bit uncomfortable to wear but hug her in all the right places. Another time I directed her to wait until after dark and seek her object with a flash light only wearing her bathrobe and slippers. (We live in a condo complex) An yet another time I told her to wear her buttplug while she sought out her object. In this way not only does one task become many, but the root of the task is easy to accomplish and I can still give her direction when it strikes my fancy.

More tasks in my next post. As always, feedback and comments are always welcome. Devious in Iraq.