Safety-nets for 1st meetings
I'm posting this here as I hope it will save retyping it many times later- but when one goes to meet their prospective Dom for the first time, basically you are making a blind date with someone who has already admitted he wants to hurt you...lol. So some basic precautions are in order; it only takes One bundy, or his spritual brother, to ruin your whole day, and a lot more.
My safety-net is as follows. When chatting and setting up to meet in a publc place, get his actual name and the make and license of his vehicle,and sit where you can watch traffic coming in- Watch for the plate number. If he shows up at your table without you seeing him drive in, get him to point ut where he has parked. Ask to see his drivers license, and verify his name as well- and if either are false- run. A lie is a red flag,to me. If all is well, phone your safety-net on your cellphone, and confirm the name to your Net. If you are going to go play somewhere, get the address from your 'Date', and give that info to the Net as well. And make sure the GPS locator in your phne is on and functioning.
When you arrive at the playspace, confirm once again with your net it IS the address you were given. And then comes the critical part- up till the time you are bound and gagged, you could run or fight- but this is the Rubicon; once crossed, it is hard to turn back. So- Have your net call you,ever 2-3 hrs, to check on you. Yes, it can interrupt a scene, Yes, it may seem that no-where near that time ahs passed since the last cal- yes, the Dom may tell you this is all un-needed. Don't listen. Explain that your net Must hear your voice,and speak to you, when he/she calls, even if the phone has to be held to your ear, and the gag removed so you can speak. Have 2 codes prearranged with your Net-person; for example- He's wonderful!", and 'It's Great!'.
Both sound positive- but the one means- 'all is well, call again at the proper time; the 2nd means : 'HEEELLLLP!!-send Calvary!-Now!' If you do find yourself with a bundy, him feeling he has time to play may keep you alive till the calvary arrives- and the GPS in your phone may help you be found, if he has switched locations on you. And tell your Net, in all serousness- if they do Not get to speak to you, and excuses are being made- don't delay; send the calvary- Period. Being embarrassed as they kick in the door to your little scene is a Lot better than being found in a ditch in pieces, or not found at all.
It is a little complex, but not very- it can be a little tedious, and seem rather silly sometimes- but until you know you have Not met bundy's brother, so to speak- then it can keep you alive, and relatively unharmed.
Once you know that he and you are both sane(relatively), safe( within the limits of whips, chains, and going ow-ow-ow...lol), and your play will be consensual- in short, once trust has been built up a bit- you can dispense with the Net, and play to your hearts content with no interruptions. But first time out of the box is a risky business, and should be approached as such.
And,just for the record, as a Dom, I have a similar procedure. I confirm her name, and then have her speak directly to MY Net, explaining she knows at least generally what is going to occur, she is agreeable to this, and is there of her own free will to undergo the experience. This give me at least a degree of protection aganst a psycho running to the police just after she ksses my cheek and thanks me for the session, by letting her know I have a witness if needed. I may even tell her he now has her on tape, if I am worried at all by the Vibe I am getting from her.
And that's it. I hope no-one ever finds it useful, in that it saves their lives- but I'd Far rather a newbie knows the procedure, and never needs it, than that they someday Need the net, but not have it in place. All best to all in the Season; Any comments or suggestions to make this more foolproof are welcome.
very good, but safety should be two way
Hi I have been slowly looking for a new sub. I am concerned that she not only feel safe but know she is safe. what to do, you both fill out a contract of what will not be allowed and what will be allowed. includig safe words. You exchange docu ments photos, id licence etc. and place them in a private safety box of your own. the contract will be in there with the other persons docutments.
I love the outdoors, always carry a GPS incase of emergency. The key is to get to know your dom or sub before meeting. The last thing I want in a sub is someone who is not connected to me. A sub and I should feel a connection. In other words you like the person. go with your gut.
