On the Danish news was a story about how, these days, in one out of five proposals the woman is the one to propose.
Is that fun, or unromatic?
Would the women here do it? Would the men like it if they did?
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On the Danish news was a story about how, these days, in one out of five proposals the woman is the one to propose.
Is that fun, or unromatic?
Would the women here do it? Would the men like it if they did?
There are some things a man should do.
i agree completely, its a mans place to ask and mine to make him want to ask ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by VaAugusta
Personally i believe it should be the man who proposes. I think it is very romantic.
It was I who begged the collar of my Owner, it was I who went on my belly before him and placed his foot upon my head pleading my need for his dominion, it was I who preformed the ritual of female submission to him and yet it curious enough it was my Owner who went on bended knee when he proposed marriage to me.
I personally don't care one way or the other how other people go about it.
But I am very happy that tradition was followed in my own regard, in both my marriage and my collaring.
Uhm...I'm pretty traditional when it comes to this, and I actually made my husband re-propose. I know that sounds bad, but I really wanted him to get down on his knee. And he had planned it that way, but he took me to dinner first and decided to jump the gun. So he gets up in a really suspicious way: said he had to go to his truck but wouldn't tell me why...so of course I had already figured it out. And then he asked the waitress to put the ring box on a little plate with a napkin on top of it and bring it to me.
Really?
I didn't want to embarrass him in front of everyone around us, so I did the yes thing, but once we got into the car, I gave him back the ring and the box. He looked at me confused, and I said, "Look. No offense, but I have spent hours of my life fantasizing about the moment when someone would propose to me, and it has never happened with the guy sitting in a chair. So, here's your ring back, and when you do it the right way, I'll say yes."
He got really pissed off at first, but I got him on his knees so it was worth it. And now it makes a good story.:cool:
it was actually a joke between my Master and myself that He was going to do something really embarrassing that i would always blush whenever someone asked me what He did when He proposed! lol! He ended up doing the traditional on one knee thing. the grandkids will be spared!Quote:
Originally Posted by Saheli
I didn't go the traditional route, and no, my wife didn't propose to me. It became evident, after months of dating, that we were going to get married. We both realized it, and we were both ready for it. I took her to the jeweler to select the ring she wanted, rather than risk buying something that she wouldn't care for, something that's always plagued me to this day. So there was never a formal proposal, just a mutual understanding.
I've often wondered, though, whether that isn't the way it should be. If a woman is surprised by her boyfriend's proposal, or if he's not absolutely sure of her response, isn't there something lacking in their relationship? Perhaps they don't know each other as well as they think they do?
I recall watching a news report about a guy who proposed in the middle of a basketball court during halftime, and the woman refused him! I wanted to cheer for that woman, for not caving in to the pressure of the moment and speaking from her heart. If he could put her into that kind of position, under pressure in front of thousands of strangers, what else might he be capable of?
Boy, I can really tear apart a romantic moment, can't I?
Thir and I are up against one of those official idiocies that says two have to live as cheaply as one, but only if they are legally married: so we can't afford to. One reason marriage is a dying institution.
But in my two previous marriages, the decision to make it legal came long after we had become an item, and I recall it as being pretty much a concensus reached on practical grounds (in both cases, the main reason was that she already had a child, and being a legal husband avoided endless arguments when I had to take responsibility for the child), with as much romance as a share issue. I think my late wife was the one who actually said "We should make this official," I can't remember who it was the other time.
I've always been hopelessly unromantic, but I do appreciate romance when it hits me. If a woman asked me to marry her, I certainly wouldn't ruin a beautiful moment by saying "No, I should do that."
I think it depends on the people in the relationship. I have heard some very nice stories where the woman proposed. Personally I think the guy should ask. Master was very romantic when he asked me to marry him.
It certainly is where I come from, more are not married than are. Even with the extra paperwork.Quote:
Originally Posted by leo9
Because it is tradition and so not romatic otherwise?Quote:
Originally Posted by VaAugusta
I have often wondered what romance really is, and what it is based on.
I spent most of my life being completly unromantic and quite happy with that, and then met an Irish sub :-)
I got over most of it, but not entirely ;-) In many ways still like a foreing language to me, or a colour I cannot see...
I can see a proposal by a woman as equally romantic, though. Easily.
I can even see both getting the idea at the same time! Uhm!
If she wants to pop the question, I have no problem.
I think you have a point here, and that in most cases maybe it goes as you say, it is a mutual understanding. Seems resonable. Maybe the proposal custum came from times when people did not really know each other first?Quote:
Originally Posted by Thorne
I agree! It seems an enormous pressure to put on someone.Quote:
I recall watching a news report about a guy who proposed in the middle of a basketball court during halftime, and the woman refused him! I wanted to cheer for that woman, for not caving in to the pressure of the moment and speaking from her heart. If he could put her into that kind of position, under pressure in front of thousands of strangers, what else might he be capable of?
Boy, I can really tear apart a romantic moment, can't I?
I find anyone going down on one knee ridiculous, it looks cheesy and tacky and if I see someone doing that I am bound to laugh. It is a cheap stunt from someone who cant bring themselves to do or say something original and sincere.
And this whole business that it has to be a man who proposes is...well, rubbish. If the relationship is true, if the bond is real and the sentiment and commitment are there, its irrelevant who does it. Its the moment that counts, its mutual. But here is why women prefer men to propose...most relationships, especially vanilla ones, are less sincere than it is politically correct to say, there is rarely security of being on the same page so if a woman proposed she would always wonder if he married her because he really wanted to or because it was convenient for him to say yes. Plus, there is that childish tarty game of playing hard-to-get, (yeah right).
Does it matter who does the proposing?
Personally - this is between the two people involved and shouldn't matter to anyone else, Much like a D/s relationship - everyone has their own way of doing things and there is no "right" or "wrong"
It may seem cheesy and tacky but it is likely a symbol that grew out of that of pledging fealty to the, whichever is appropriate, local ruler. For in essence that is what it is pledging you fealty to another.Having said it that way it would appear that it should not matter which way the proposal is offered, M to F or F to M.Quote:
Originally Posted by damyanti
Quote:
Originally Posted by damyanti
It occurs to me that in the days when society was so male dominated that women were very rarely free to take any decisions for themselves, it might have been important to have a clear symbolic reminder that this was one of the few places where the woman had the final say. She might have enormous pressure put on her, but legally she still had a choice: he was expected to get down at her feet to remind them both that he was asking, not ordering.Quote:
Originally Posted by DuncanONeil
One might find better luck looking for the origens of the tradition of the man going down on one knee to seek the woman's permission to marry after having the fathers blessing itself from Burgundian influence on traditions of courtly love. To the best of my recollection its mainly a eurocentric tradition.
A lot of societies relied on arranged marriges, where a groom and bride may not even have so much as seen each other before the wedding ceremony as they viewed such things as a pact between families or clans.
Where as some more primative cultures required a man to simply bring a sutible gift of x number of livestock or something else of appropriate value to the house of the father and then lead his bride away in due course like an exchange of goods.
Remnents of such activities even making it into modern times with the carrying over the threshold tradition which is a whole other can of worms.