vegetarian vs BDSM

A short post, I've got the end of year work blues (budgets, taxes, etc) so I have not been around much. But resently I had a conversation with a friend about varing degree's of people involved in BDSM. During my explanation I came up with an anology that I felt would be nice to share.


In reading many topics on the board and many first timer comments, I hear alot of people saying how they are not as extreme as another person. Then I also hear the chest beaters out there talking about "True" this and "Real" that. One thing about this lifestyle is it has its foundations and its methods to varying degree's which some people think is incomprehenceable and only this way or that way is the "right" or "best" way.

In our society we have another group of lifestyle people we may be able to draw a simularity to. vegetarians. There are 3 primary types of vegetarians.

1> Light Vegetarians: eat no red meat
2> Vegetarian: eats NO meat products
3> Vegan: its no animal or animal byproduct

As you can see a significantly varing degree. With D\s you could lump us into one of three catagories.

1> kinksters/fethishest: revolve around a paticular kink or fetish activity.
2> Player (don't take it wrong I'm making these up as I go): Someone that whole heartedly engages in a BDSM activity with a partner usually at intervals.
3> Lifestyle: BDSM effects every portion of their life.

Between the two (Veg vs BDSM) I see a simularity. No paticular way is anymore right or wrong then the other. It is merely personal prefrance as to the degree, but is no less real then the other. I do not like the labels I thought up as I Do not feel they totally apply as I know many weekend/cyber players that call themselves lifestyle or old guard. But I also see the condemnation in both directions. I see little point in it, each person has there own version of the lifestyle and though there is an average of acceptability in each group no one group is no more "real" or "true" then the other.

and the spellchek isn't working :help:

I am vegetarian and my girlfriend is vegan our decisions are very conscious and calculated in this respect. I would probably class myself as a player, if forced to, in your above categorization as that is where I would feel the happiest/filthiest:D. I think the two are very different in as much as strong argument could shift my dietary ethics but would be unlikely to shake my sexual orientation. The only similarity I can see is that they can be practiced to varying degrees, I reckon you could probably see similarities with lots of different groups in this respect. Religions, sportsmen, music scensters..etc..
Know what I mean!?

I wasn't even trying to remotly suggest that one had anything to do with the other then the vary degree's of lifestyle commitment and the complete differance in lifestyle custom where as most veggie's I know (yea my nickname) don't hold contempt for meat eaters or other vary degree's of vegaterians. Yet there seems to be this distinct level of disassocitation in the BDSM community.

and what in the world do you use for toys if she's a vegan? Do you punish her by sending her to the store for a pound of bacon???? (please note heavy sarcasm here not condemnation)

Actually I've got plenty of leather :rolleyes:..ahem.

I know what you're saying, I remember a previous post, probably yours, saying the same about punk rock and how 'real' punks look down on MTV 'punks'...etc... ( To my mind a qualitative difference does exist here, there is after all nothing punk about MTV, in fact it pretty much antithesises the whole DIY ethic but that's another debate... )

I've not encountered any 'I'm more hardcore than you are and therefore I'm better' shite amongst my vegetarian/vegan friends, although people will discuss issues I don't think they attach a value judgement, that may just be my experience though.

My communication with the BDSM 'community' is pretty much confined to these pages and I'm happy to say that I thankfully haven't seen any evidence of these prejudices here. Is that your experience of another BDSM community?

I love the analogy, second one I've come across on these boards today. IT does seem to fit quite well
But what about 'fruitarians'? They only eat things that don't kill the plant the come from (ie. pretty much just fruit) Can we work them into your scale?

(I hope I used the right word there...not really sure)

raw foodies is what they are called where i live. id bet they be the people not just living the lifestyle, but more into longterm bondage, etc.

I never did get ppl who ate just no red meat calling themselves vegetarian, though I see that a *lot*. Ussually when i think vegetarian i think a lacto- ovo- vegetarian- though that maybe be just cause thats what i am :)

My little brother is one of the fake vegitarians. It works for him. only skiny beale in the family. (black sheep, no not realy) But he makes a big show of not eating read meat or any thing with a face. But he will down eggs salmon anyingthing fish based mcdonalds french fries.

But trie to give him a cheese burger and he goes running.

I understand what you are saying, Mobius. It is a great analogy.

BDSM is what we each make of it for ourselves. As long as we are true to ourselves, then our particular interpretation of the lifestyle is "real."

For some, reading "The Story Of O" and waving a banner that says, "I am a Dominant like Sir Stephen" is enough for them. I can choose whether or not to engage and will refrain from voicing an opinion.

If it works for them, who am I to judge?

Met a guy who's into observing birds ( the tweet tweet kind ) today and apparently;

The Bird Watcher - The lowest of the low, scorned upon by those who really know what they're doing. Wear their binoculars with the lens covers on..pah...amateurs

Birders - Not obsessive mind, but know what they're doing and know a fair bit about the game. Not obsessive like the -

Twitchers - These guys will travel hundreds of miles to get a glimpse of a rare bird

Ornithologists - The Pros. Expert biologist.

I stopped short of directing him to this thread or talking about the difference between 24/7ers and kinksters though

I'm add this analogy to my list of lecture notes... need to come up with better BDSM calcification. I hate to use the words "true" and "real" describing anything BDSM. hmm lets call the fruity people Gorean :D