New Female Sub looking for information/books/instruction

Hi there, I am a new female sub. Very recently was introduced to the lifestyle and I liked it and want to explore it further with my mate. My mate is also new to the lifestyle so we both are fumbling around a bit trying to figure out how everything works. That is why I just joined this website.
So here's the thing:::

From what I have seen, done and read so far, we really are into the sub/dom thing, submission, power, control, bondage, slave/master kind of thing. Lite spanking is good but major pain or torture, bruising or things like that are not a turn on. I don't think it's about the pain or really getting hurt for me, it's more of the mental power/control. I haven't found any books on that and don't really know how to proceed. Does anyone have any ideas on things to read, and how to get more involved? Any role plays or ideas for things to try out? We went to a munch group once but I am not sure that that is will be a good venue -- that seemed to be more about the SM pain and less about sex.....any ideas where to get items/clothing inexpensively? Also, any groups that are out there where people of similar interests get together?>

Just looking for info and suggestions at this point. Thanks,

Welcome! Not to be flippant, but to save you time and to provide a LOT of information and entertainment, the search function at the top of the page will lead you down paths that you might be wanting to take. There may be a few paths that are of less interest...but there is still a wealth of information, nevertheless.

In addition to snark's entirely sensible suggestion, there are also several podcasts (of all things) devoted to fetish and d/s relationships. They might be particularly useful because, when I last checked at the end of summer, at least two of them were shows that took reader calls and emails, and then directly reacted to questions or scheduled guests who would talk about topics of broad interest (for example, the nature and structure of "morning service" in a sub's life). They shouldn't be hard for you to find, but do feel free to drop me a note if you need guidance.

S.

Screw The Roses, Give me the thorns.

The loving Dominant

Different Loving

SM 101

Pervert

Extreme Space

are all good books that I would recommend.

I must be doing things wrong considering the most I read isn't from books. ( I get the books for the photos, pull out the magic wand and look at the photos and I am set for the evening). Anyway, How did i learn about kinky things/what I like/what I didn't like and not read books? google. find a fetish list, go down the fetish list and anything you don't know what it is:google it. Anything you think sounds fun:google it. . . and so on. That's the sort of things I read.

Best way I've recently found on learning resources: "good" dungeons will have classes (mostly free) on all sorts of topics.

~RK~

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Originally Posted by ropekitty

I must be doing things wrong considering the most I read isn't from books. ( I get the books for the photos, pull out the magic wand and look at the photos and I am set for the evening). Anyway, How did i learn about kinky things/what I like/what I didn't like and not read books? google. find a fetish list, go down the fetish list and anything you don't know what it is:google it. Anything you think sounds fun:google it. . . and so on. That's the sort of things I read.

Best way I've recently found on learning resources: "good" dungeons will have classes (mostly free) on all sorts of topics.

~RK~

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While Google is fantastic for endless topics. Some of the things not covered as extensively as in the books I listed are things like the mental approach to Dominance and submission. There are articles on the web that touch on it, but not to the extent as the book.

I still recommend a book.

@ _ID_ . . . i don't believe i implied books were useless, but why buy a book when one might not know if they are into that area per say. looking on the internet for better ideas, then going to books seems to me to save time and money.

If you want my opinion on best way to learn, it'd be going out to events and learning from people who know each area Or going to a "local" dungeon that offers "free" Classes. . . but in some cases that costs even more then books and not everyone is into being out in the public scene.

~RK~

Shibari You can use- Lee Harrington
Sacred Kink-Lee Harrington
The Low Down on Going Down, how to give her mind blowing oral sex-Marcy Micheals
The Ultimate Guid to Cunnilingus-Violet Blue
Bondage for sex-Chanta Rose
Master's Han's Daughter-Midori
Wicked Ties-Shayla Black (good kinky sexy fantasy book reading)
Slave Craft, roadmap for Erotic Servitude- a greatful slave
SM 101-Jay Wiseman
Erotic Bondage Handbook- Jay Wiseman
Wild Side of Sex: The book of kink
Stretching Anatomy-ArnoldG Nelson and Jouko Kokkonen
How to be Kinky, A beginner's guide to bdsm- Morpheous (great presenter, should go to His classes)
Arisue Go's Kinbaku Mind and Techniques 1
Arisue Go's Kinbaku Mind and Techniques 2 (floor work 1)
Douglas Kent's Complete Shibari Land (volume 1) and Sky (volumn 2)
Please, Ma'am, erotic stories of male submission
The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage- Midori
The Ultimate Encyclopedia of Knots and Rope Work- Geoffrey budworth
The Human Pony- Rebecca Wilcox
Fetish Photo Anthology Volume 5- fucking hottt photos

Those are some of the books my partner and I have. . .

As far as good websites that are for reading:

http: // www. PassionAndSoul . com

http: // www. deviant-dance . net

http:// www. planetmidori. com/

~RK~