Seeking my girl to cherish and hurt

Good guy, idealistic sadist, witty power-freak and tyrant, listener, gentle intellectual brute with a soft spot for pleasing women and a kink for watching them writhe in agony seeking intelligent, kinky and submissive young women in need of a lover, protector, guide, friend and tormentor.

For me kink is very much about being able to be both the ‘good guy’ as well as the really bad one. As anyone I like being pleased, I like having others do things that are pleasurable for me and as a dominant I enjoy being served. However being a dominant does not make me any less of the good guy I also happen to be; I need to be giving in my relationship, I need to know that I am not the only one benefitting, that my sub is flourishing under my dominance, that she grows from it and that she finds pleasure as well as purpose Fortunately I have found that being a dominant happens to make me a better person.

Anyone looking for an ‘abusive’ relationship where they are mistreated without regard to their own needs nor pleasure need not apply.


What fascinates me the most in ‘kink’ is what happens when someone chooses to give up power over themselves, when someone trusts enough to give her gift of submission and so make herself so completely vulnerable... I find it very beautiful how one, I believe, is able to 'be' completely in the present, in-one-self when one has lost all power over one's future. I am deeply fascinated with submissive women and I simply love taking us to that place where nothing else matters than submission, dominance and what my power over my submissive will lead to

I have a harder time explaining my fascination with dominance. It's just 'there'… and perhaps too much part of me to analyze. But each time someone calls me 'sir' my excitement reminds me that I am dominant. I recently realized that I am also the most in the moment, the most focused and calm, when I’m taking responsibility for a girl I care for and pushing her into that special place.


Among the kinks I enjoy pain and humiliation are probably the most prominent. That is of course apart from dominance in itself. I’m rather sadistic but I’m dominant first, sadist second.

I'm fascinated with how pain can be used as a way to make the submissive realize just how helpless she is. I love the control, the surrender, it implies. I love the sound of girls getting hurt, the act of love it is when they present themselves for my hurt again and again… the exhilaration when we find that the hurt is transforming to pleasure.

Humiliation is of course in part an extension of my sadism. And there is also a beauty in demanding the utmost respect from my sub while showing her none. But it is also a tool for setting free parts of subs that makes it much easier and even more exciting to be 'dirty' or kinky: humiliation is for me a way to set my sub free from her dignity; making it abundantly clear that she will be allowed none such thing as dignity makes a girl fully free to embrace even the most humiliating sides of herself.

That said I have come to realize, that what I feel like doing is highly dependent on who I’m doing it with. Play to me is still ‘just’ the means to reach the ultimate purpose of surrender that I seek.


What I’m looking for is a real life partner for long term relationship. That said things would, and should, stay online until both parties are comfortable with one another, and I realize that when posting on an international site like this distance is likely to be a factor keeping things online for a bit as well (I live in Europe).

I'm not looking for someone who will be nothing else than a slave with no vanilla life outside of her submission to me. I live a full life, with lots of vanilla things that I care for intensely, and I need more than a slave in my life, I need someone I can care for intensely; not only in a 'kinky' way but also as a partner, as the love of my life, and as the person to keep me ‘grounded’ and who I’m sure will (respectfully) tell me when I’m being a jerk – because she loves me too much to allow me to become one.

I need an intelligent and kinky partner who is able to stand up to me at one time while submitting at another. I need someone I can relate to and someone I can be inspired by. I need someone whose world is bigger than the tip of her own nose and whose aspirations are more than her own comfort and success (or mine, for that matter).

I am, however still seeking a lifestyle relationship. For me the roles of dominance and submission to be only something exercised in ‘playtime’. I’m dominant 24 hours of the day and I do relate to my submissive, or slave, as just that, 24 hours of the day. That’s not to say I need to manage her life in every second of the day, but she is still going to be mine … she is still going to be at service at all times, to know that at any time, even when outside in the ‘normal world’, her autonomy may be taken away from her and that she will be able to do nothing but obey.


And what do I bring to the table, to justify this long list of 'demands'? I like to consider myself a caring, highly intelligent, and rather resourceful person. I’m successful as well as empathic and very much able to give my partner a lot. And I so happen to be rather dominant – especially when it comes to sex (I’m a leader-type in other situations too, but much more soft in vanilla life). In vanilla life I’m a professional with a promising career, I care, I want to make a positive difference in the world – but I don’t mind having power and looking good doing it.

And apart from that? It's hard to put a lot of praising adjectives on oneself I find, as one easily ends up saying exactly the same generic bunch of self-praising that don’t make anyone any wiser. So I think I’ll just let it be up for you to decide from how and what I write, and, hopefully, from our coming conversations. I am of course quite ready to share a lot of more details about me and my life if we get to know each other – I believe complete openness is an obligatory first step in any D/s relationship.

I look forward to hearing from you.