Good manners when sevicing a Master

i have been a sub for many years now.
when i was first introduced to the scene i was told that the most important attribute of a sub, after obedience is good manners.
when i see a woman sucking a man with her eyes closed it makes me very cross! what is he supposed to think? that he is ugly, not fit to be seen? this is NOT good manners.
i know that it is largely up to the man to punish her for any indiscretions but that is no excuse for her to behave so slovenly. a woman giving lip-service should keep her eyes open at all times.
also, i think that a sub should always provide that little extra for her Master. for example, if he does not send instructions for her mode of underwear then she should always wear something attractive but humiliating.
most men, espescially black men, like to see a woman in a thong and suspender belt and stockings. i was told by my husband, Mark that when i was dressing for a "session" that i must always take that bit of extra care over my make-up and underwear. even if the man is not a "special2 visitor, he
must be treated to the best i can give.
i hope all the subs out there will take this advice in the spirit in which it is intended.

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Originally Posted by Jill Bird

when i see a woman sucking a man with her eyes closed it makes me very cross! what is he supposed to think? that he is ugly, not fit to be seen? this is NOT good manners.

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This I think is a personal point of prefrance... I mean one can only stare at a belly button for so long, other girls get so involved in the sensation, closing there eyes enhances there experiances and enjoyment of the task.

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Originally Posted by Jill Bird

also, i think that a sub should always provide that little extra for her Master. for example, if he does not send instructions for her mode of underwear then she should always wear something attractive but humiliating.

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I don't know many undergarments that are humilating when it comes to women wearing womens undergarments. I mean whats humiliating about wearing a thong? attactive yes attentive to detail yes, but humilating? how?

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Originally Posted by Jill Bird

when i was dressing for a "session" that i must always take that bit of extra care over my make-up and underwear. even if the man is not a "special" visitor, he must be treated to the best i can give.

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you should, but remember your Masters prefrances may not always be the same prefrances of your guest. Good piece of advice overall :)

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Originally Posted by Jill Bird

when i see a woman sucking a man with her eyes closed it makes me very cross! what is he supposed to think? that he is ugly, not fit to be seen? this is NOT good manners.

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I close my eyes for the simple fact that it gives me better feeling. It goes along with that whole "you deprive one sense and the other increases". My sense of feel with my lips and tongue are better and I can use them better. Also, my sense of hearing increases and I can tell if he is enjoying the particular technique I am using or if I have to switch to something else.

And, to be honest, I believe that, because of increases perception, my dominant likes it with my eyes closed. You and your former domiannts may consider it to be bad manners and "slovenly" but what is good for the goose is not always what is good for the gander. We do what works for us and that is having my eyes closed and though it is not right for you, that does not mean it is wrong all around. We each have our own tastes and because our tastes are different, does not make it wrong. There is no one way of doing things when it comes to BDSM.

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Originally Posted by Jill Bird

a woman giving lip-service should keep her eyes open at all times.

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That is your opinion and you are entitled to it. But because it does not work for us, does not make it wrong.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jill Bird

most men, espescially black men, like to see a woman in a thong and suspender belt and stockings. i was told by my husband, Mark that when i was dressing for a "session" that i must always take that bit of extra care over my make-up and underwear.

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It's a nice thought, but not all women can wear things and/or make up. Like myself, they do not make thongs in my size. :dunno: And make up... well I usually don't wear any because of skin allergies. It would be nice, yes, but not practical. Again, I do what I can and it works for us, but again, that does not make it wrong.

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Originally Posted by Jill Bird

i hope all the subs out there will take this advice in the spirit in which it is intended.

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And thank you for sharing. :) It is always interesting to see how other people do things even if we do them differently.

thank you to all who replied to my post. it made me realise that i may have become a little fixed in my views.
goodbye, and thanks for the chat, Jill.

I fully agree with Jill in principle, not necessarily in the application of the principle.

Good manners can be understood in a wider acception: the slave is supposed to do certain things in particular ways, because her master and/or his guests just like it that way.

I think that the particular case of a slave orally serviceing her master and, perhaps, some guests of him, is a good example .... I requested my slave to learn giving blowjobs not only in a generally considered "correct way" but to adapt herself to the peculiar tastes of every of my abitual guests ... each one of them had his own preferencies as far as technique, rithm, pressure, suction and variations were concerned.

Open eyes were not a question, but, for instance the constant use of her hands (when not bound behind her back) for tickling and caressing the balls, was an important rule she had to observe. Another rule was that she was not supposed to forget that the sight of her blowing a guest was to be an enjoyable and arousing view for the other gentlemen waiting for their turn.
Therefore I instructed her to keep her ass well lifted, knees apart, to allow an unobstructed view of her wet cunt and not to forget to wave or shake her tail in order to make the show more interesting.

Furthermore she was supposed to always adress myfirends with the courtesy form ( "her" ... unfortunately not possible in english) while we always used the confidential form you adressing her (some languages allow subtile humiliating possibilities indeed).

When we sat in my parlour on my armchairs, we just needed to snap our fingers and briefly indicate to have her doing her duties ... snapping fingers and just looking at one's crotch was the signal for a blowjob, indicating our shoes was a signal for her to take them out and thoroughly clean our feet after hafing remod the socks as well.

A slap in the face, either with hand or foot, signalled her that she was supposed to check the needs of another guest ...

Even when fucked, she had to remember some basic rules: if she was on her back and the men over her, she had to embrace him with her legs and always keep her feet duefully pointed foreward like in a ballett position... if she mounted a gentleman she had to keep her feet on his legs and arch her back.

The fact that she could not simply enjoy, but had to observe some behavioural rules added excitement and arousal to her .... of course, if we allowed her to climax, we would not control the respect of the rules and just let her enjoy.

In principle, it is the obligation of the submissive to treat her Dominant or Master with respect and in so doing, to follow his wishes.

In terms of clothing and actions, I believe it is up to the Dominant to determine protocols and what "good manners" would be. My training Dominant desired no make up and that I dress with class and grace, not at all humiliating. Then, he viewed me as a prized possession and enjoyed the "unwrapping" and subsequent humiliation that ensued. His view was that to take this elegant and classy lady to the lowest form of sexual and mental need for his pleasure, was what made him tick.

Another Dominant, preferred I dress more like a slut than a professional, educated woman.

Further, in terms of actions, the Dominant would be the one to determine position, eyes open/closed, noises to be made. In fact, perhaps, a lesson in discipline might be to make a submissive who so enjoys giving oral sex that her eyes close and her passion overtakes her, to keep those eyes open and make no sounds indicating her pleasure? Or perhaps, the Domimant gains pleasure from seeing and hearing how much his submissive enjoys giving him pleasure.

Sometimes, I enjoy watching my submissive achieve intense pleasure at my bidding. Other times, I prevent him from having mind blowing orgasms or may "milk" him so as to provide that release, but in a far less pleasurable way. However, if I don't communicate my expectations or take actions to achieve what I want, who is at fault? Certainly not my subbie.

There are as many timbres to this lifestyle as there are practioners.

When two people find what works for them, then they have found nirvana.

Honestly its good to be polite when your with one so its respectful, but honestly how your mannerisms are become different with each partner you may have....no body language is the same to identify.

Sarah