Religion = Coping Device?

Now, for all those who have ever been in a religious household, been to religious events, or even been religious themselves should no where this is headed.

We have all had things in our lives that have been hard to deal with. My question is, Do people use religion to cope with such things?

I have found that yes, it is mainly a device for coping. I have been to far to many funerals and the same things are always said:
"I'm so sorry for your loss"
"You're in my prayers"
"He/She is in a better place now"
"God decided he wanted him/her in heaven because of his outstanding love" etc.

Is it simply not coping? Do people not use it to feel better? After all, "Knowing" a loved one is always happy, always watching over you and that you will someday join them in eternal salvation in heaven make dealing with ones death easier?

Rather than have the "Atheists are right the religious are wrong" argument come into play I would like to hear your opinions and ideas. What are your thoughts?

I think so much depends on the individual in this regard. It's hard to say definitively one way or the other. I've seen some who have been able to get through tough times because of their faith, and others who have turned away from their faith because of tough times. I've seen people without faith deal admirably, while people with faith did not.

For my part, the idea that my grandparents are watching over me is creepy, to say the least. The thought of my mother-in-law watching over me is downright terrifying!

As for dealing with death, I'm not so sure. I've read stories of terminally ill devout believers who were terrified of dying, and stories of terminally ill non-believers who were calmly accepting of their fate. I've also read of the reverse. So again, I think it depends on the individual. And in my case, at least, I find that, as a non-believer, I'm not afraid of death now. Dying, yes. The process can be frightening, especially when long and drawn out. But actually being dead holds no terror for me anymore. Non-existence after my death can't be any worse than the non-existence before my birth.

I think there's another aspect of religion: tribalism.

If you're Irish then you turn to the left (Catholic) or to the right (Protestant), and the difference is important enough to kill indiscriminately for. During my childhood in Scotland, one of the first questions to ask of a new friend was are you Catholic or Protestant? Sometimes you asked his name first, sometimes second. The secular rivalry between Glasgow Celtic and Glasgow Rangers is legendary, and has lately come back into the headlines when Neil Lennon, manager of Celtic, received several death threats and was assaulted by Rangers fans.

Here in Leicester, there is a large Moslem contingent. Women wearing the Hajib are commonplace as are men wearing the thaub (or something like it). They may be wearing it to denote their ethnicity (another form of tribalism), but I suggest they do it for religious purposes.

I'm sure there are plenty more examples to quote, but that'll do for now. God clearly has little to do with it.

Can't just about anything be chalked up to a coping mechanism?

We eat because we're coping with being hungry, we have friends to cope with being lonely, we have hobbies to cope with being bored and so on and on. Coping mechanism or what have you, if religion enhances your life by all means go for it.

What I'm saying is that, in my opinion, deludes and blinds the person of reality. That in itself is a bad coping mechanism like drinking because one is depressed or injures themselves for similar reasons.

Religion certainly can delude and blind people, like anything else used to avoid life (and there are a LOT of things in the world that will accomplish that in a handy fashion). However, for everyone that uses religion to escape, there're just as many that use it to become more involved and to search more deeply into their feelings and motivations and into the reality of their life.

Like most things, it all works both ways. As Thorne pointed out, it's the individual that REALLY matters.

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Originally Posted by Switch_John

Now, for all those who have ever been in a religious household, been to religious events, or even been religious themselves should no where this is headed.

We have all had things in our lives that have been hard to deal with. My question is, Do people use religion to cope with such things?

Some people do, others use any number of other things, some use science or a belief in there not being anything to believe in... in exactly the same fashion. Some even do so with just as much zeal too.

I have found that yes, it is mainly a device for coping. I have been to far to many funerals and the same things are always said:
"I'm so sorry for your loss"
"You're in my prayers"
"He/She is in a better place now"
"God decided he wanted him/her in heaven because of his outstanding love" etc.

Or in fox holes where one may be asking for that same God to save their ass, or when one pleads for the life of a loved one undergoing surgery, or when one prays for well the good of us all, or an end to a war etc. But that in and of itself to me doesn't seem like any real evidence that religion is solely sought out as a coping mechanism so much as how humanity works when confronted with some things.

Is it simply not coping? Do people not use it to feel better? After all, "Knowing" a loved one is always happy, always watching over you and that you will someday join them in eternal salvation in heaven make dealing with ones death easier?

Not all religions share the same beliefs in that regard. Nor does holding such a belief necessarily remove or alleviate the sense of loss one experiences. Especially when no one (religious or atheists) truly knows that their beliefs are right for sure...they can have faith, they can hope, but they don't really know.

Rather than have the "Atheists are right the religious are wrong" argument come into play I would like to hear your opinions and ideas. What are your thoughts?

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Like Amber said...some do use it like/for that and others do not.

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Originally Posted by MMI

I think there's another aspect of religion: tribalism.

Speaking from an anthropological perspective: I don't believe that the one necessarily has to go with the other.

If you're Irish then you turn to the left (Catholic) or to the right (Protestant), and the difference is important enough to kill indiscriminately for. During my childhood in Scotland, one of the first questions to ask of a new friend was are you Catholic or Protestant? Sometimes you asked his name first, sometimes second. The secular rivalry between Glasgow Celtic and Glasgow Rangers is legendary, and has lately come back into the headlines when Neil Lennon, manager of Celtic, received several death threats and was assaulted by Rangers fans.

Here in Leicester, there is a large Moslem contingent. Women wearing the Hajib are commonplace as are men wearing the thaub (or something like it). They may be wearing it to denote their ethnicity (another form of tribalism), but I suggest they do it for religious purposes.

I'm sure there are plenty more examples to quote, but that'll do for now. God clearly has little to do with it.

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Well considering that many of these tribal practices do not always change just because one's religion does, I would put forward that its a spurious correlation. Though I do agree that one may drive the other or interact with and change or evolve along with or because of the other etc.

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Originally Posted by denuseri

Or in fox holes where one may be asking for that same God to save their ass, or when one pleads for the life of a loved one undergoing surgery, or when one prays for well the good of us all, or an end to a war etc.

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That old saw is about as true as saying that Catholics don't use birth control. There have been many, many reports of combat soldiers actually losing their faith after watching the random destruction of their friends. They can see, quite plainly, that prayer didn't help anyone.

Wikipedia has an article about this. Check out the "Notable counterexamples" section.

And to add my own points: when my wife had to undergo an emergency C-section, I didn't pray, or ask for God's help. I called my mother, to let her know what was happening. Then I watched the surgery, and thanked the Doctors, NOT God, when I held my son.

And just recently, when I awoke from what was supposed to be a routine test and was informed I had cancer, it wasn't God that crossed my mind, it was concern for my wife. And now that the cancer is gone, I again thank the doctors, not some fantasy savior.

There are, indeed, atheists in foxholes, denuseri. More than you know.

Which is why I'm saying its not necessarily a coping mechanism to seek religion...or any other belief system etc.

I was just giving further examples of things people say and do in different situations in response to the op Thorne...please dont go making out of context assumptions about what I posted that have nothing to do with the topic or the op's wishes in that regard trying to take the thing other with yet another atheism or nothing debate..

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Originally Posted by denuseri

Well considering that many of these tribal practices do not always change just because one's religion does, I would put forward that its a spurious correlation. Though I do agree that one may drive the other or interact with and change or evolve along with or because of the other etc.

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You do have a point, den, and you might be right. I cannot always tell Moslem Pakistanis apart from Indian Moslems, but I do think I can often distinguish Hindus from Sikhs and from Moslems by their mode of dress. Not all of them. Those who adopt European dress, I cannot tell apart at all, and some modes of dress are common to all religions, but here in Leicester, you see all sorts of clothing styles, and they do seem to relate to particular religions.

However, the dead Irish Catholics and Irish Protestants are not distinguished by race: they are all Irish. The sectarianism in Glasgow is not due to different races coming together, but different religions. The antagonists are from the same city!

Have you heard of Glasgow's Razor Gangs? There were such gangs in other British towns in the 30's, but in Glasgow, they were a particular problem. It was not just gang fights that were the trouble, but the fact that the gangs were divdied along religious/sectarian lines.

Also though in Ireland in particular isn't the issue really between the Irish identifying Catholicism with being Irish and with protestantism as an invasion forced upon them by the English beginning with the reign of the Tudors?

When you are from one of the other regions or live in it long enough you get were the main differences between one people and another is the way they dress and the customs they follow...not all Muslims dress the same or have the same customs.