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Sometimes I feel there is something wrong with me, I feel dysfunctional in regards to what turns me on and what gets me off. I cannot have good sex if it is just regular sex, there has to be some sort of hitting, choking, or other type of pain involved. Not a lot of girls are interested in bdsm, and only enjoy vanilla sex. I never feel like I perform well in regular sex. Lately, the kinks have been reaching new levels.
Has anyone else experienced this kind of internal struggle?
There is nothing unhealthy about enjoying pain, and to what level it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks because it is what you enjoy or even love for that matter. Being more of a dom my perspective is a bit differnt though because I fantasize and enjoy snuff fantasies with hard core torture that nobody would really consider doing because its so far out there. I used to feel like I was "weird" an "outcast" and even labelled a "psycho" and I did the worst thing you could probably do and I denied myself who I really am by playing in ways I did not enjoy because I felt I had to to fit in with society and "normality"
I kept playing in ways I didn't enjoy for so long eventually I snapped and said "you know, I think that as long as I'm not actually snuffing people or torturing them beyond their limits and what is consensual between us whats weird about it? Its two people doing what they love and enjoy and gets them off is weird then so is normal regular sex or any other way to have sex for that matter.
Excellent response! I actually have the same kind of thoughts, thoughts that would be too ridiculous to even attempt as well. Even since I was a child, I've always had sado-masochist thoughts. I remember hurting myself when I was about 5 or 6, creating a captivity fantasy even with an inexperienced mind. I feel better knowing that others have confronted this and learned accept it because after all bdsm is a symbiotic relationship. Now that I think about it, within a bdsm relationship you can trust your partner more. There is also a greater degree of respect and communication which is actually quite healthy.
Thanks!
IMHO so long as things are safe, sane and mutual consensual between all the involved parties its not wrong per say. After all bdsm involves a certain degree of "masochism" does it not?
I don't think anyone on a BDSM forum would fault you for enjoying pain. Just sayin'.
Yes, this thread was mainly to hear others' confrontation with the same issue though. Clearly some others have had to come to accept that they have different interests than that of the general population :)Quote:
Originally Posted by delish
Absolutely :DQuote:
Originally Posted by denuseri
I can completely relate and it has caused me some issues in the past. Without some type of pain or at least control brought into the sex I just do not enjoy myself, its just going through the motions, I have ended relationships with wonderful men because of this. Finally I just recently decided to give up on finding a vanilla relationship because this whole pain thing is just going to end up causing me issues again. What I have come to except it that it is probably not the norm, but it is not going to change about me. I just wish it didn't make finding a good date exponentially harder.
I enjoy pain,pain to me gives pleasure.Also the pleasure i see in others faces as they inflict the pain is also gives me pleasure.
Unless the pain is caused by something that causes real damage to your body, which is kind of unhealthy (since "health" usually NOT damaged,) but isn't it more unhealthy to deny your feelings and damage your mental health? Even damage from extreme playing will heal in an otherwise healthy body, but from some things the mind, the heart, the soul never recover. I wish I were walking around with bruised butt and a small cut from bloodplay with my love, rather than the cold soul and breaking heart from being apart from him (we are long distance, and he's just gone back to school, so we aren't having much contact time of any kind right now.) Try to keep yourself safe in your pain play, and revel in your mental health!