Delurk: anyone have a similar experience with electric play?
I am an adult now but got into bdsm all on my own early on before I had ever heard it spoken of. I was 12 years old at the time and playing around with a kid's electronics kit. Made a mistake with some example circuit involving a relay and an audio transformer. It produced a square-wave ac signal by mistake. I touched the xformer output by mistake and felt a shock strong enough to produce a muscle contraction.
The feeling immediately captured my interest so I explored by touching two wires to various parts of my body. Fortunately, I knew enough safety to not do anything stupid. Both feet was cool with my legs jerking from the signal. Then I tried one on each butt cheek and it was better. From there it was a natural progression to try sticking one wire up the ass. With the contact area of a bare wire being so small the sensation was an instant pinpoint burning agony but I knew there had to be something worth further exploring.
The first step was to go from a mistake on the example circuit to a simple relay interrupter hooked up to the transformer. The frequency was too high and kind of tickly buzzy so I added a capacitor to the relay to slow it down some. Found that about 50hz got the most muscle reaction which is what I liked. Next, the sensation wasnt enough so I found a way to produce more output. The transformer seemed small so I pulled a larger one out of an old broken clock radio. Finally, added a variable resistor to the output circuit to adjust it the intensity.
Then I made and tested various electrodes using household items like screwdrivers and tinfoil. Larger surface area contacts produced less burning and more of a deeper shock. If one electrode was large and the other was small then all of the sensation of shock would come from the smaller side. From anal experimentation I found that the greatest sensitivity was 1/2 to 1 inch inside. Placing electrodes deeper in (tried all places up to 8 inches in) didn't do much even with full power. All the way in just produced kind of a dull nausious ache inside. Got scared I would hurt some internal organ and stopped with the deep stuff. Finally settled on an insertable two-contact using something like a magic marker with a foil strip taped to either side (didn't know about foil tape at the time)
It is hard to remember or describe exactly what I first liked about doing this. The sensations were just so addictive. Somehow I just liked this specific kind of pain and wanted more of it. I started using bigger and more batteries but never tried anything stupid plugged into the wall. I didn't want to hurt myself permanently in any way, just wanted more and more of this fantastic sensation.
The circuit was eventually capable of an output level so high I didn't have the nerve to turn the resistor all the way down. After a while I got bored with it and started to want to feel out of control but with some margin of safety. I used a wind-up kitchen timer to produce a timed shock and would try to lay there and take it until the end. From there I had this idea that the intensity should start small and build up over time so I hooked a second timer up to the variable resistor. At first I would always test it out at max with the electrode in my ass and make sure I could take it full strength before I setup the scene. Then I would sometimes add another battery and just touch the plates with my fingers to check. Eventually I got daring and added a more batteries and just started the timers without knowing what it was going to be like in my ass when the resistor reached zero.
I see now that this really was a true obsession even at such a young age. At 13 years old I was hot-melt glueing a 1 1/2 inch diameter, 6-inch long dual electrode into my ass so it wouldn't fall out when I jerked around. I could take a continuous shock of 1 hour with the power ramping up to full after the first 15 minutes. I would lay on my back in bed with my feet tied to the bed posts. There was a restraint for one hand using a combination lock. I kept the other hand free to masturbate but made sure there was no way to remove the electrode even if I wanted to. It was an unbelievable feeling just waiting there in bed anticipating, wondering when it would start to hurt and how much. I was afraid of screaming out loud and waking up my parents so I stuffed a t-shirt in my mouth. Still, I locked my door and lived in fear of some accidental discovery. As the shock built up to higher levels the sexual excitement was so much it made the pain seem just like background noise or more pleasure. I'd get a ringing in my ears and it wasn't just psychological; I really couldn't hear other sounds because of it. After the orgasm hit the shock pleasure turned into just plain old pain. It hurt so bad I twisted around in bed. It was no longer fun and I didn't want it anymore now that I had my pleasure but I couldn't stop it no matter what I did it just went on and on while I cried helplessly. That was the exact mental feeling I grew addicted to and I certainly did perfect a way to achieving it any time I wanted it. When the 1 hour timer finished it would turn on a light so I could undo the lock. It was hard with the pain so strong my fingers would be shaking while trying to operate the knob and unlock myself. I still had even grander fantasies of going further removing the light feature and forcing myself to take it all night until the sun rose and I could see the lock dial. I wanted so much pain I would actually lose consciousness but never found a way to reach that point.
Over the next few years I tried a few other things like delaying the start for many hours. The idea was to fall asleep locked into the setup and then have it start while i was dreaming and see what it did to my dreams. Mostly it would just wake me up but a couple of times I actually slept through it but didn't remember any unusual dreams. I also played around with heat but didn't want to really burn myself permanently. Hot pepper sauces were another kind of interesting anal pain. They would build up to a level of heat but then stop. However, when the electricity makes your ass contract against the electrode it feels hot again. I had this idea of making some kind of super combination probe that would do it all: electric shock, electric heat, ooze hot sauce out the sides, and inject a steaming hot enema at the same time. Too complicated, never did even try to make that.
Eventually after a few years I just stopped it all cold-turkey. I never had any interest in doing this kind of thing with another person and my dating years and adult life were/are perfectly "vanilla normal" and reasonably satisfying sexually speaking. I am absolutely certain that nobody has ever imagined there was anything remotely like this inside me. I have never mentioned this to any other living soul before this moment because I felt this deep shame about what I did to myself and knew it was some horrible perversion so bad that the rest of the world would judge me if they knew about it. The interest never went away but I wouldn't allow myself to pursue it again. Over the last few years I was amazed to learn over the internet that there are other people who do things like this. Still, I stayed away from the old habits but recently found this urge to find an online forum somewhere and tell my story to see if someone out there has had similar experiences and would talk about it with me.
-voltsjolts
