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My Husband and i just discovered BDSM recently and it has changed our lives! But an odd question arose between us the other day. How do we maintain our dynamic during my period. He's really always been turned off by it, and that hasn't changed. But as I said, it's changed our lives... so how do you alter the rules in a clear cut way that is specifically set aside for that particular week of the month? Help is so appreciated!
Maybe im not getting it coz i dont see the problem. If he's turned off by your period then its just for him to not have sex/play with you during your period. It's his choice. I seriously dont see the problem.
If your BDSM is 'only' (nothing wrong about that) about the sex and your sex is centered on intercourse and/or your genitalia then you're ... well ... screwed. Or not, as is the case. ;)
But there are tons of other ways to keep the dynamic going, even during your period or outside of the bedroom. Also, you don't necessarily have to get out of your clothes to be Dominant and submissive, no matter who's the Dominant part and who's the sub.
There's really no limit to your imagination, just make sure it's safe and sane and consensual.
OK maybe I didn't explain well enough. Our concerns are things like my not being able to strip for discipline, or sleep naked and keep my legs uncrossed and myself exposed. You know rules I can't possibly follow as usual given the situation...
I've never had that issue... but given that he does and seeing that you're identified as the submissive... he does as he pleases. During that week he could just use your mouth and ass, letting you masturbate to orgasm while he chides you as a horny little slut who can't keep her hands off of herself (if you're into a little humiliation play as well.)
Imo he should alter his rules to fit his intressts during that week. Like oz said, he is the Dom so it's his call to do what he wants and pleases him.
The fact that he doesn't care for your period doesn't change your anatomy. And without drastic physical changes there is nothing either of you can do about it. He can either realize this and adjust his attitude or your requirements or have a bad attitude for several days a month. He could also look at the bright side...it's only for a dew days. Look at all the other time both of you have to enjoy the lifestyle uninterrupted. In other words.....he can just get over it!
This!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ozme52
I don't know what your parenting plans are, but:
If you are willing to go on birth control, the Mirena IUD pretty much can eliminate periods for most women. There is also different types of the pill that only cause bleeding like 4 times a year. Your doctor can also prescribe regular birth control pills and have you skip the the non-active pills for a specific number of months or sometimes forever.
Obviously these are options that should be discussed with your physician and not done without their supervision.
I know for me personally, I do not like hormonal birth control as it can affect my libido... however, the Mirena IUD has very little hormone and therefore does not affect me as the pill does.
They do not usually recommend an IUD for women whom have never been pregnant due to possible slippage, however in my research this isn't a problem and most practioners are more than willing to place them. You just need to be a little more vigilant on checking that it is still in place regularly.
I was concerned about problems conceiving after removal, but that doesn't seem to be much of a problem either... my best friend even got pregnant 2 weeks after the removal of hers! :)
Only problem with the Mirena (don't go with copper IUDs as they can cause heavier bleeding every month) is that it does have an adjustment period for your body... I did pretty much spot for like 3 months straight with heavy periods. However now, I NEVER get a period, and when I do get one, it is only the slightest of spotting for a day or two. So basically that first 3 - 4 months might suck ass, but the benefits of being period free thereafter is well worth it.
I know a lot about medicine, so if you have any questions about birth control (or anyone else reading this) feel free to private message me.
Not to get overly personal here (but since you brought it up)...Use a tampon! You can sleep naked, strip for discipline or sit with your legs uncrossed or whatever. All he'll see is a little white string and there's nothing gross about that.Quote:
Originally Posted by sirslittleslut
The shower... If you clean yourself out very well and attempt play in the shower, the period will seem nonexistant. My Dom is turned off by my period as well but we have found ways around it. We play without intercourse. Usually ending a session with a blow job instead of intercourse. And, (sorry lol) if I'm using a tampon, a vibrator used only on my clit will allow me to orgasm as well. A shower is always required of me before play while mother nature is paying me a visit and I am usually wearing a thong or booty shorts until a vibrator is utilized.